the writing and photography of Neil Kramer
CBS announced the new fall lineup today, including two supernatural thrillers to help bolster the network’s appeal to younger viewers.
"Sci-fi by necessity gets a younger crowd," CBS Chairman and Viacom Co-President Les Moonves said ahead of the network’s upfront presentation. "We’re in a position now where we’re younger — we’re certainly hipper.
"I can’t wait," says Yoda, of Sherman Oaks, CA, a sci-fi fan and long-time CBS viewer.
(photo via yodajeff.com)
There are many obstacles to a romantic relationship being a success. There can be differences in personality, religion, attitude towards family, work ethic, etc. Any of these can cause a couple to split up. Yet there is one obstacle that can break up even the most loving of couples. Yes, I’m talking about liking different types of movies.
I remember once bringing a date to watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” on DVD. She had never seen the movie, which seemed unbelievable to me! I couldn’t believe my luck. Not only would I introduce her to this heart-warming classic, but I would surely get lucky after that!
What happened? Let’s just say I had as much luck as George Bailey getting out of Bedford Falls. She hated the movie and called it “corny.” How could I like such a cold-hearted woman?
I bring this up because yesterday, I discovered YMDB (note 12/06: now defunct).  This isn’t IMDB.com, the best movie resource around. This is “Your Movie Database.” Basically, you create a list of your favorite twenty movies and then can see links to other users whose movie lists are statistically similar to yours. You can even find others who picked the same #1 favorite movie as you.
I do not know anything else about you, Dinah, but you and I are the only ones to pick this somewhat obscure French film as our favorite movie. Let’s get married.Â
2003 — Seabiscuit
True story of the undersized Depression-era racehorse whose victories lifted not only the spirits of the three-man team behind it but also those of the nation as well.
June 2005 — Cinderella Man (Russell Crowe)
True story of Depression-era fighter and folk hero Jim Braddock, who defeated heavyweight champ Max Baer in a 15-round slugfest in 1935. When America was on its knees, he brought us to our feet.
2007 Leap of Faith (currently on page 15 of the screenplay; waiting to see if Cinderella Man is successful)
The true story of Depression-era frog, Jumpy Jones, whose underdog victory against "Mighty Green" in the annual frog jumping contest lifted the spirit of the nation and brought us to our feet.
Bennett Cerf
One of my guilty pleasures is watching old game shows.  I’m particularly fond of the original “What’s My Line?” (1950-1967), especially because it gives us a glimpse into post-war New York life.  The panelists, such as Dorothy Kilgallen, Arlene Francis, and Random House publisher and wit Bennett Cerf (see photo), were actual members of New York high society. The contestants, many from the outer boroughs, try to help the panel guess their odd occupations.  All of the men wear suits, the women wear pearls.  It seems funny today, but I find it comforting.
I bring this up because last night I went to a stage production of “What’s My Line?” at the Acme Theater in Los Angeles. Every Wednesday night (the show is on hiatus until next month), there is a live attempt to capture the flavor of the original show, using regular Angelenos with strange jobs, and a celebrity for the special “blindfold” round.  Yesterday, the most interesting round was about an L.A. couple that produces their own vodka, and the celebrity was Brett Butler.  The panel themselves consisted of B-list celebrities.
My only real complaint about the evening was (at least on my night) the panel didn’t capture enough of the wit and banter that made the original so much fun.  Maybe sophisticated banter is a lost art, as much as wearing pearls to the theater.
All in all, it was a fun evening and recommended, but where is Bennett Cerf when you need him?
Now that the Friendster movie that was discussed a year ago in Defamer finally has the go-ahead with Harold Ramis and Topher Grace aboard…
Grace plays a character looking for love while navigating technology such as instant messaging, camera phones and Internet porn. (from comingsoon.net)
…Hollywood is abuzz with storielines based on other internet and software applications. This is the ideaI time for me to dust off my old "Microsoft Word" script.
In this urbane Manhattan-based romantic comedy, set in the exciting and sexy world of book publishing, two strong-headed associate editors, one male and one female, find romance as they work together to stop web addresses in Microsoft Word documents from automatically turning into hyperlinks.
Revenge of the Nerds
In print and in movies, I frequently encounter the cliche about the nerdy kid, beaten up in elementary school, who grows up to become a phenomenally-successful entrepreneur.  Of course, he’s not really happy because he’s a jerk now, still having the insatiable need to humiliate his former bullies.
To put this myth to rest, I have my friend H here, who is visiting from New York. We went to school together. H was beaten up all the time by bullies.
Me: H, are you very successful now?
H: Â Â No.
Me: Â Â If you could, would you seek revenge on these bullies?
H:Â Â Maybe. Â (SIGHING)Â Â But what can you do?
Me:Â Â Have you ever encountered any of these bullies since elementary school?
H:  No…well, actually, indirectly I do know something about one of them.  He went to Queens College, became a teacher, and now he teaches my cousin’s son’s second grade class in Tucson.   How ironic is that?
M:Â Â How does that make you feel?
H:  Good.  At least I know that asshole makes less money than I do.
M:Â Here’s what teachers make in Tucson.
H:Â (strong curse)
Another myth busted. Â Â Not all nerdy kids beaten up in elementary school grow up to become successful entrepreneurs.
Jack Bauer
24 is probably the only TV show that I watch consistently.   Last night, Jack was in a real jam, hiding out in a sporting good store as a group of bad-guy commandos approached him.  All seemed lost until two brave young men, the owners of the store, took up arms to help Jack (and the American government) in their battle against terrorism.
These two men were also Arabs. Â Â And Fox was going to make sure you knew they were Arabs by inserting patriotic speeches about their father and America and 9/11.
I thought it was pretty cool, somewhat necessary, and a lot corny.
The moment was so “Public Service Announcement” that it almost seemed as if all the commandos stopped approaching and took a cigarette break just to allow these good citizens to finish their speeches.  I think it would have been better if these two young guys just helped out without much banter and then after the battle, Jack goes to shake their hands.
Jack: Â Â “My name is Jack.”
Mohammed (shaking hand): Â Â “Mohammed.”
I would have gotten the point. Â Â But Fox clearly wanted to counter-balance the charges that they are portraying Arab-Americans in a negative way on 24.
Let’s see — the Araz family are members of a sleeper-cell out to kill millions of Americans.  How likeable should they be?
Dina Araz, the mother clearly shows a human side in wanting to save her son, Behrooz.  The son is Bin Laden’s nightmare, a true believer forever softened by the California sunshine and his blond girlfriend.   Is that the next problem that needs solving?
Next Week on 24: Â Behrooz decides that his days of carousing with decadent American surfer girls are over and he is ready to settle down with a traditional bride from Yemen.
In last week’s New York Observer, Shazia Ahmad wrote about straight New York women meeting every Sunday evening at a friend’s apartment and watching Showtime’s The L Word. Is the L word just the latest female bonding, apple-martini-in-hand, Upper-West-Side type show to watch over at Lisa’s apartment? Ms. Ahmad thinks this strong curiosity about the show is more than just the demise of Sex in the City.
Call them Sapphosexuals: straight women with a twinge of curiosity, a natural penchant for flirting with their female friends, and a high dose of emotional frustration with the city’s crop of narcissistic metrosexual males who perennially fail the Prince Charming test. Why not date a woman?
As a male, I’m the first one to admit that men suck. And they’re mostly ugly. Who wouldn’t want to date a woman?
A few years back, my relationship with a girlfriend went kaput. Well, actually, she kaput-ed me. I was angry and depressed. But I had a life-changing moment. I realized that I didn’t understand women and I never would.
Ever.
I would try to become gay.
Hey, I like guys. I’m comfortable with them. I understand them. They’re not as high-maintenance, not as emotional high-strung, they like fart jokes, and according to Harvard presidents, are better in science.
I was living in West Hollywood and gay life was all around me. I asked my friends Sean and Jaipur to take me out on the town. Sean and Jaipur had been together for six years and were as cool as cool could be. They were going to be role models in my learning to be gay. I was going to be their Eliza Doolittle. (if you are a male and don’t know what I’m referring to, you are definitely not gay).
That night, we went to one Weho (West Hollywood) club after another. I wasn’t ready to dance yet or talk to anyone, but I was slowly letting my head bop to the disco-like tunes. Unfortunately, the waitress was really hot and was distracting me from becoming gay. There was also something disgusting about sweaty men dancing. Sweaty women dancing are sexy. Sweaty men aren’t, no matter how tight the shirt or abs.
I had to constantly remind myself that I wanted no more part of this other, estrogen-crazed sex — WOMEN, despite any cleavage they may have. Wasn’t it Helen who was the cause of Troy’s fall?
It was nice being with guys — rational, fun guys. Maybe some of these guys were a little more concerned about appearance than my usual male friends. I had never been around so many pastel-colored tank-tops before, but this was a few years before any "straight" guy would let any "Queer" guy throw out his old bowling shirts on TV.
And then something happened that destroyed for me all the glamour of me becoming gay. Sean and Jaipur started arguing. It seemed as if Jaipur had forgotten to be home earlier that day when the dishwasher repairman showed up.
"Just like you, Jaipur. Always irresponsible."
"And what about you? Didn’t you say you were going to mail that birthday gift to my mother? When I got home, it was still on the table. But I didn’t say anything to you to make you feel bad. Did I? Did I?"
"You’re saying it now."
"Damn right I’m saying it now."
As the conversation heated up, I realized that if you put two men together long enough they will start acting just like a straight couple. It wasn’t worth becoming gay, if I can get the same crap from a woman.
This is why I whole-heartedly support gay marriage. I say spread the torture around.
As for the Sapphosexual group at Lisa’s apartment on 78th and Broadway, dream on. If you think life as two females is going to be fun, think about this — the sex might be interesting, but which one of you is gonna take out garbage?
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