BlogHim 08′ in New York City was a phenomenal success. Although we had no sponsors like Blogher, no swag (Dockers had promised to supply us with some free giveaways, but never came through), and received no attention from the media or kindly General Motors, we all had a great time meeting up with old blogging friends. And isn’t that what blogging is all about?
Two male bloggers discussing ways to increase their readership.
BlogHim had no money to pay for a hotel conference room, so most of the sessions took place at Neil’s Coffee Shop on Lexington. Participants really enjoyed the free coffee refills and the way the waiteress said “Be right with you, Hon.”
One of the most popular BlogHim sessions was about new ways for Daddybloggers to monetize their children. There was a good deal of heated discussion. Many men were angry that the Mommybloggers received all the free Wiis.Â
“We just get the viagra ads” said one Daddyblogger. “Why do marketers think that because we have children we can’t get it up anymore?”
Barry, a male “Alpha” blogger from Tennessee asked the one question that was on every Daddyblogger’s mind. “What was the point of having children if you can’t make money off of them on your blog?”
But it was Andrew “TexasDad” who came up with the answer, inspiring the crowd with his keynote speech, “Why Daddyblogging is a Still a Radical. Act”
“We are men. We must use our logical male minds and think out of the box! Why go the same route as the the women? Are we men or a bunch of pussies? If we are unable to monetize our children with our daddyblogs, let’s follow another path. Let’s force our children to run a marathon in Central Park when it is a 100 degrees outside and BET ON THEM like a horse race!”
It was just then that the Guy Kawasaki Challenge was born!
The daughters did us especially proud!  Some of us made a ton of money from the betting pool.
The highlight of the day was when the sons raced.  These young men are the underappreciated male personal bloggers of the future, so we pushed them extra hard. Some of the more clever Daddybloggers even told their sons that they were going to abandon them and leave them in New York if they didn’t win!
It was hilarious to see how much pressure was put on the wimpier boys and to watch them fall in frustration!
The weekend consisted of one fabulous session after another, all catered to the male blogger. On this weekend, we were ALL Alpha Male Bloggers:
Session One:Â “Why You Should Never Share Anything with a Woman”
Session 2:Â “Dog Pee is bad for the Environment, But Even Al Gore Pees in the Shower.”
Session 3:Â “Question Authority”
Session 4:Â “Why a Really Nice Piece of Ass is Better than a Good Humor Bar”
Thanks all! See you Next Year at BlogHim 09! Remember — Keep your chins up and your c*cks hard.  We are MEN!
Next year, I’m DEFINITELY going to this!
i can’t believe there weren’t any adults in that water fountain. i would have probably shoved my kids out of the way so i could have a chance to cool off.
nice bloghim update. i’m sure new york will never be the same!
Too many Good Humor bars and I lost my nice piece of ass…
I still had a good time hosting BlahgHer and DrunkHer though. It was good to spend the weekend drunk and fashionably depressed, like the REAL writer I’m sure I am. I’ve mastered ennui–you can read all about it at my place.
I spew and spill coffee when I read your blog. One day you will make me pee my pants. *giggle*
OMG! You’re too funny! This is mandatory reading after writing 5K depressing words for a contest. I feel MUCH better now!
Good to see the strong Republican work ethic alive and well in NYC. Even better to see the marathon in tropical climate conditions–for me it is ALL about the job security. Here a heat stroke, there a heat stroke, heat strokes for all…
Was it amazing to meet all those AMAZING MEN who write amazing blogs and are amazing, amazing people?
I know it’s going to get me pilloried, but BlogHer and the wrapups about the Amazing Women stories make me throw up in my mouth a little. Has anyone not very amazing ever attended BlogHer?
I could also be PMSing.
You are hysterical. I would enjoy a BlogHim conference.
And I’m your blog crush of the day, awesome!
He pees in the shower, seriously? Does Tipper know this?!?
Funny. Funny. Funny. And I didn’t even miss the huge and obvious references and parodies this time.
Heather – Maybe I’ll go next year. I am not very amazing.
Dammit! You were supposed to send me an invite to BlogHim! Lying bastard! 😉
I am laughing my ass off, again! I’ve decided if I read each of your blog entries, my “nice ass” might return after all. Who said three kids and no running can ruin your figure?
Keep up the GREAT work. I love it.
If laughing burns calories, I’kll lose at least a pound reading your blog!
“Keep your chins up and your c*cks hard”?
I like this year’s slogan even better than last year’s.
I had a blast. I never knew you could write-off a lap dance as a business expense. Those guys are amazing. All of them.
next year I’ll make you guys some bloghim shirts. In the meantime, I only hope your radical panel showed their commitment to radicalness like Blogher and used the word “radical” at least 9 kabillion toimes
Love this.. what race is it? (Sorry the runner in my got interested with the bib numbers. )
Like, OMG, I totally used the word “awesome” in my BlogHer recap post!
Nat — New York Roadrunners Club Central Park Run. First is the regular adult one, and then the kids. Every kid got a bagel at the end.
The guy with child runner 7264 is my childhood friend with his son, who was in the race. My friend and I joked about how our parents would never in a million years let us do this!
Attendance would’ve been much higher if we had opted for strippers. Next year?
Chag — Forget the cliched strippers. Next year, it’s Olive Garden, baby!
very clever, i’d love to go to bloghim, just to learn more about men 🙂
maybe it’s because i live in miami but i’ve seen many nicer pieces of ass than that photo you used.
no, i didn’t miss the point of the photo.
Dan-E — One of the things we try to do at BlogHer is to be educational, and we think it is important that male bloggers learn to appreciate women’s asses of all shapes and sizes. But having BlogHim ’09 in Miami sounds like a very attractive idea.
I will be deliriously happy when all things BlogHer, BlogHim are gone.
Thank you thank you thank you–laughing my ass off here!
Can women crash that? I don’t think my kids are working hard enough for me. I bet I could learn a few things.
Well, hell. BlogHim sounds so much better than BlogHer. Consider this my pre-registration for next year. If chicks are allowed. (I’m assuming there’s a nice ass requirement? Given your comment up above, it seems to be very inclusive. Whew.)
Jennifer, not only are women welcome to come to BlogHim, we pay for your airfare and offer you 1/2 price drinks during Happy Hour.
My wife and I are former collegiate sprinters. Our kids would kick some serious ass in that race!
(And conference #2 made me snort out loud.)
I almost would have rather been at BlogHim!
Dude. Next year I’m at BlogHim.
I’ll even wear the jeans that make my ass look good.
I’d like to sign up as a speaker for a session next year, it shall be titled, “The Variants of Brazilian Bikini Waxing Modeled by the Long Beach State Swim Team.” I think there might be some interest, no?
anybody got the race results handy?
I had four bucks on 7003.
i’ll come to the next bloghim conference. i too want to take some pictures of shapely ass. but no man boobs. please. no man boobs.
i don’t have children, but i would like to learn more about exploiting my dustbunnies. they love me.
Dag! I’m a train ride away! I want to attend BlogHim next year because, based on the report on my blog, I’d be scared to attend BlogHer.
Wow, where can I sign up for next year?
I agree tho, no man boobs.