the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Month: August 2007 (Page 4 of 4)

Manly Insecurities

swag.jpg
(photo via ThreeSeven)

As you can tell, I keep on putting off writing about “being a man” for my BlogHim post, mostly because I’m not sure what that means, or what unites me to other men. Yesterday, Leah reminded me that I could have gone to BlogHer, even though I am a man. Even Sophia was pushing me to go to Chicago so I could see my friends and “promote” my blog.

OK, here’s where I reveal some inner thoughts. My main reason for not going to BlogHer is because it would make me feel uncomfortable. And I think it has something to do with this “man” issue. I have no problem hanging with a group of women, but I think that if I went to a women’s conference, it would make me realize that, despite my hanging out with so many of you gals on this blog, that I don’t belong there. I’m not a woman. I’m a man. It would just make me question what makes me a “male” blogger and whether I should be writing more for a male readership.

Besides, seeing so many hot women in one room would be too much for me.

I think this is more of a gender issue to me, than one of sexuality. I would feel more comfortable sitting with a room of gay men than a room full of straight women. At least, they are still men. Gay men don’t make me question my sexuality. Hanging out with too many women does. Maybe I’m just being a typical male, feeling uneasy not being in charge of things when I’m with a bunch of women (the perfect reason for having a BlogHer to begin with), but considering that I’ve been living with Sophia all these years, and half of my bosses have been women, I can’t imagine that to be true.

But maybe it is. I can imagine being at this conference and wanting to argue and talk all the time, not wanting women to get the last word in. Isn’t that terrible? This is how WE are brought up.

Now that I’m re-reading what I just wrote, I’m not sure this makes any sense, but I’ll keep it up anyway.

Sorry to be a little petty, but I enjoyed learning that women sometimes have identity issues as well. How should “women” be identified — as hipster mommies who are cooler than their boring mommies or geeks or real women who have the same issues as everyone else? One of the funnier “controversies” of the BlogHer conference concerns the hefty swag that everyone received from the corporate sponsorship. This year, there were more sponsors than for the Super Bowl. Women received all sorts of doo-dads, from cool bags to beauty products. (am I the only one to think this is an issue in itself — the eagerness for everyone to “sell-out”)

Some women were a little miffed at getting a freebee from Butterball — a potholder!

This is what Plain Jane Mom, my blog crush from yesterday, had to say:

These companies completely missed the boat. Seriously, a potholder? Yeah, I’m a woman. Yeah, I cook. But this was not a conference for cooking women, this was a conference for blogging women. You know, who use computers. And I know, Math Is Hard Barbie, but blow me. The more I think about the apron and the hand mirror and the potholder, the angrier I get.

Plain Jane, tell me if I am wrong, but aren’t you really talking about gender identity — the same issue I am about men? That you want a woman blogger at BlogHer to be treated like the geeky man who goes to a Microsoft conference — and not like a housewife? The main difference is that the men who go to these boring Microsoft conferences are REAL geeks who wouldn’t know how to make a turkey if you gave them Martha Steward to help. A lot of the women at BlogHer actually write about being mommies, poop, and making turkeys for dinner. And what’s wrong with that? I think Butterball is just acknowledging the obvious — women at the conference are GEEKY and DO make turkeys! Why be afraid of acknowledging that making turkeys is important to some women? Is Butterball a lesser company than Dove Soap or Apple Computers? Do we really want Butterball to change their staid image so they can better appeal to hipster Moms?

“Yo, Mom, shut off the iPod! What’s for dinner? Cool — Butterball turkey!”

I would love to go to a man’s conference where they would acknowledge us a individuals who could make a turkey, but I doubt you’re going to find Butterball showing any interest in BlogHim.

What’s My Demographics?

demographics.jpg

Have you ever wondered exactly WHO is reading your blog? I don’t mean your stats, but the demographics of your readership. This information can be useful for your advertisers, including mine, once I actually get some. I’m quite interested in learning more about you, so please take my first ever DEMOGRAPHIC survey. If you feel uncomfortable answering some of the questions in the comments, please email me with the answers. Your answers are safe with me. My mother taught me that gossiping is a sin.

Demographic Information:

Please choose one answer from each category —

Sex: Male, Female, Transgender

Age: under 21, 21-30, 30-40, 40-50, over 50

Religion: Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Mormon, Atheist, Scientologist, Mennonite (for Schmutzie), Other Weird One

Political Affiliation: Bush-hater, Bush-lover, Unconcerned

Ancilliary Questions:

Are you married or single?

If you are a single female, would you date a man of another religion or color?

If you answered yes, please continue here:

Would you date a man who is separated, but still married?

Would you date a man who is living with his mother after being thrown out of the house by his separated wife?

Would you date a man who has not gone on a “real” date in many many years?

When you date men, how many dates does it take before you usually “put out?”

Do men usually say you are “good in bed?”

If you answered “Yes” to the last question, please continue with this multiple choice question.

How long do you expect the man to “last” in bed?

A) Under three minutes.

B) A half hour.

C) Three hours.

If you chose Choice A, please answer the final multiple choice question.

Imagine you are dating an amazing new man. Imagine you take him to your bedroom after the third date, and you become intimate. What words would best describe this man if during his orgasm, he started to sob uncontrollably, then babbled on about his separated wife for a half hour (10x longer than the actual sex)?

A) Disappointing and Strange

B) Psychotic and Loser

C) Sensitive and Sexy

If you chose Choice C, please email me immediately at neilochka at yahoo dot com for a special prize.

Thank you for taking the survey.

A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month: Summer Radio

Newer posts »
Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial