I just got up and read my last post from last night. I really hate it. It isn’t funny and it is vulgar, ripe with anxiety, insecurity, and sexual frustration.  Â
You know what, I’ve changed my mind. I’m keeping it up as a perfect example of an “improv” type post that just gets thrown online.
Scary, isn’t it?
Thanks, Fussy, for your NaBloPoMo. You’re turned me into a raving lunatic.
P.S. — Megan makes an interesting point in the comments. Why is my penis always berating me? We should be the best of friends, considering how much pleasure we’ve given each other, with others and even when it is just the two of us having a special night together. Maybe I just don’t feel comfortable with his aggressiveness and his selfishness — it doesn’t feel like “me,” who is very polite.
Why am I revealing this to strangers?
Oh, and I had a little tiff with Sophia last night, so I’m a little grouchy. (uh, not about that — it was about closet space — it’s a long story)
I’m laughing that you un-posted and then posted that you’d un-posted and re-posted. A little glimpse into less polished neurosis.
This crazy NaBloPoMo thing is clearly driving you nuts but I don’t see why you’re down on your previous post. Talking about crappy posts and perfectionism automatically makes it an interesting topic that we can relate to and thus not a crappy post. And getting to witness the tension between your neurotic self and your penis is always fun. I’d like to hear more about your blog reading habits. How many do you actually read in the course of a day? How do you do it? When? How do you find them all? Details, please!
Neil, Neil, Neil… I thought it was hilarious. I was just teasin’ about the soap and pornish thing (besides, I like saying the word “pornish”)… 🙂
I am glad that you left it up; I often pull posts down because I am afraid of upsetting someone then regret it later.
It is funny how differently people write in their blogs; I was talking to Karl about this last week…..he sits and creates this perfectly worded post that takes time to create and write extremely well (hell, he doesn’t even use spellchecker) and I seem to sit down when something strikes me and just let my mind flow, using big words when it suits me and slang when THAT suits me. In the end, we both get the same results as far as readers, etc.
There is no wrong way to blog; well….almost.
You know, your relationship with your penis IS very interesting, now that you mention it … but I don’t think this is the appropriate forum for that discussion. ;P
I’m with you in the NaBloPoMo stress. I missed a couple of days, so I feel especially horrible and am thinking of ways to “make it up” to my (two) readers. Any suggestions would be welcome!
I’m honored you used my comment for your post. I’m glad you didn’t take it down. Tell Sophia you are doing therapy- it’s called NaBloPoMo. Seriously. One of my favorite therapy gems is that you can’t grow without being uncomfortable. You’re expanding your boundries, and that’s uncomfortable, but maybe it’s a bit more tolerable with all the support you get here. We love seeing into you, Neil, neurosis, cursing and all. And maybe you’ll now talk back to your penis and tell him to feel the love (heh heh). And he’ll be nicer to you, give you better orgasms or advice or something… oh God, make me stop.
I once signed up for a knit-a-long, in fact I think I kind of started the knitalong accidentally. Anyway, as soon as there was an official website and cute buttons and participants and so on, I immediately lost the ability to make this particular knitted object.
I think it’s either A) laziness B) rebellion or C) performance anxiety.
I am guessing you have…. C? What with all this penis talk and all 😉
I’m sorry you and Sophia had an argument. Maybe your penis could act as a go-between and try to smooth things over?
sometimes the penis really maybe too much trouble. was that why Sophie was upset at you?
I’m sorry about your argument as well. But I do like blogs that are open and honest about what’s going on in their lives. It makes it so much easier to be a voyeur when people tell you the real stuff.
What does you penis think of the closet space situation?
Neil. I don’t get it. Didn’t you pretty much blog every day anyway? Why are you letting some artificial restraint boss you around? Sometimes you have to pour some alcohol in a clean glass, grab a hunk of something slightly dangerous to eat and just say fukkit. (Said the honors English teacher after a particularly brutal week and following her own advice.)
You’re a better man than I! I contemplated NaBloPoMo, but realized there’s no way that I could possibly do it and that I’d drive myself insane trying.
All the closets are mine. No need for tiffs that way. No need for lasting relationship either.
Does this mean you aren’t posting anything tomorrow because you posted twice today? 😉
“it is vulgar, ripe with anxiety, insecurity, and sexual frustration”
why do you think i keep coming back!
give her all the closet space she needs, no reason why you can’t live out of a box. just make sure the box is in an area that’s in her way, then she’ll make room for you in the closet.
OK, things are better now. We had lunch. I promise to read everyone else later… after my afternoon nap.
i personally think it’s great to read a man’s perspective on anything and everything. even from a penis.
You just sound like, um, you need some. Overthinking things…I hope you can just “do” soon…Everything will be better afterwards…promise!
Mr President, didn’t they warn you it is lonely at the top. You need a power trip, fire a cabinet member or something.
Gotta disagree with you–the penis post was a little unpolished, but an interesting technique. You used the penis to vocalize the supposed inner workings of the male mind, then positioned it as a distillation of men in general. It was funny and a little uncomfortably thought-provoking.
I consider any post with a talking penis an instant classic.