Â
Hodel, oh Hodel,
Have I made a match for you!
He’s handsome, he’s young!
Alright, he’s 62.
Being a Yenta the Blogmatcher was WAY more complicated then I thought.  My apologies if you are not in one of the pairings. Some of you are easier to match up than others — and remember, I’m a newbie matchmaker. I’m hoping some of you will try to make some blog matches from your own readers either here or on your own site.
Matching bloggers is as every bit as difficult as matching a real couple. You want the pair to have common interests, but you don’t want them to be SO similar that there is no spark — no chemistry, as if they are brother and sister reading each other’s blogs. On the other hand, you just don’t want it to be all blog lust. Many bloggers begin a friendship by devouring each other’s words as passionately as lovers, but then it explodes when one blogger wants more of a “blogroll relationship” and the other just wants a “one post stand.”
I hope each person matched will try to read each other’s blog.
Neilochka’s Matches
Sarah (of The Delicious Life) is a sarcastic “food freak” from Los Angeles. Her adventures dining out at exotic restaurants are more like stories than restaurant reviews. Â
Deb (of Smitten Kitchen) is a food-lover in Manhattan. Deb thrives on being a hands-on gal who enjoys cooking and baking. One look at the photos of her soups and breads and you’re going to be starving.
Sarah, meet Deb. Deb, meet Sarah.
Bookfraud (of Bookfraud) is a self-described “struggling novelist facing middle age.” He loves reading the great masters and cursing at today’s hack writers who with their crappy novels (that sold).
The Humanity Critic (of Daily Views) lives in Virginia Beach and is the winner (along with Manjula) of the 2006 Black Weblog Awards for best writing.  The Critic loves to rant and rave about pop and hip hop.Â
This pairing may seem odd, but think Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy in “48 Hours.” Bookfraud and the Humanity Critic both skewer the pompous, and always with great humor.
Bookfraud, meet The Humanity Critic.  The Humanity Critic, meet Bookfraud.
Rachel (of Crisis Intervention Summit) is a British mother and writer. She presides over a staff of twenty at a bar. Since most of these bar girls are young, Rachel has become the “mother” figure. This is surprising, since Rachel can party as well as any twenty year old.
Chantel (of Uncharacteristically Sober) is a divorced mother of two from Portland who is “a cool cocktail mix with a serving of Lucille Ball, a splash of Carrie Bradshaw and a Mae West Twist.” She loves to enjoy life as much as Rachel, but has recently been thrust into talking to her children about “the birds and the bees.”
Rachel, meet Chantel.  Chantel, meet Rachel.
Paul (of Words for My Enjoyment) is a writer known for his quirky comic sense of humor and his outlandish post topics, such as “If I Was Your Sister’s Best Friend’s Brother’s Cousin’s Cell-Mate’s Overly-Enthusiastic And Partially Egotistical Tennis Instructor.”
Karla (of Karlababble) is a Texan Blogger who has a personality as big as a ten-gallon hat. Her interest include “spying on the elderly” and “poking children with sticks.”
I have a feeling that these two will drive each other crazy, which is part of the fun.
Paul, meet Karla. Karla, meet Paul.
Heather B (of No Pasa Nada) is a single JD Salenger-loving Washington DC resident who graduated college in 2005.  Now she’s figuring out what life is really all about post-college.
Girlgoyle (of Chronicles of Ed) dedicated 10 years to a man in a relationship that went kaput. She’s moved on and is now trying to figure out the mystery of love and sex.
Heather B, meet Girlgoyle. Girlgoyle, meet Heather.
CrankMama (of CrankMama) is what they call a mommyblogger, but not your ordinary mommyblogger. Her motto is “Good Mama, Bad Attitude.” Despite her role as “mom,” she doesn’t forget that she has a life outside of her kids.Â
Jenny (of Run Jen Run) is a vivacious single woman in the big city, sort of a like a modern Mary Tyler Moore, except this is in Chicago, Jenny is not as idealistic, and Jenny doesn’t have a hat to throw into the air. Her life is one funny adventure after another, much like Mary…
CrankMama, meet Jenny.  Jenny, meet CrankMama.
Eliza (of Elizaf) is a mother who lives in London and has a “wicked” sense of humor.  Although she loves her life, she sometimes gets restless and dreams of doing something a little more wild, such as fencing, like she did in college, or bungee jumping.
Karl (of Secondhand Tryptophan) is a divorced father living in Florida.  Recently, he turned 40 and undertook a serious of adventures to celebrate his new decade, one of them being jumping out of an airplane.
Eliza, meet Karl. Karl, meet Eliza.Â
Javacurls (of Somewhere in the Middle) is what we used to call in Queens a “hot-blooded Latina.”  Born in the Bronx, Javacurls never pictured herself living in Belgium with her husband! She loves travel, city life, and salsa music. She is an amazing photographer and dreams of becoming a professional.
Alison (of AliThinks) lived most of her life in France. She never pictured herself living with the love of her life in Kentucky! At first glance, Alison seems too “WASPy” for Javacurls, but Ali can surprise you, as evidenced by her recent piercings.  She is also a marvelous photographer.
Javacurls, meet Alison. Alison, meet Javacurls.
Dashiell (of Precogs)Â is a New Yorker (via Michigan) who is into politics and music.Â
Darling Nikki (of Imperfect Like Us) can be found “spinning some discs” on KZYX, a public radio station in Medocino County, California.
Dashiell, meet Darling Nikki. Darling Nikki, meet Dashiell.
Colleen (of Communicatrix) is a blogger from Los Angeles. Lately, her blog has gone into some rather odd territory, including a 21-day salute to cleaning her apartment.
Abby (of Girl With a One-Track Mind) is popular sex-blogger from the UK. Her posts are often about orgasms and f**k-buddies.Â
Colleen needs to be reminded that some things will always be messy and unorganized, such as sex.  Abby, who was recently “outed” after her book was published, could gain some management and business insights from Colleen.
Colleen meet Abby.  Abby, meet Colleen.
The PhoenixNYC (of Skinny Legs and All) is a New York blogger who has travelled the word and his “greatest achievement in life was to change and grow as time has gone on.” Just last week he went to a seminar where he studied with the Dalai Lama!
Modigli (of Modigli) is a teacher in San Deigo.  Since starting her blog, she has become increasingly political, bringing up issues that concern her.
Do I see a match made in Whole Foods?
The PhoenixNYC, meet Modigli. Modigli, meet The PhoenixNYC.
Sarcastic Fringehead is a writer in Dallas who loves literature and the Houston Astros. Fictional Rockstar is an academic-musician in Washington D.c. who loves literature and recently started loving the Washington Nationals.
Luckily, these two bloggers will never have to worry about their teams playing against each other in the playoffs, avoiding all arguments.
Sarcastic Fringehead, meet Fictional Rockstar. Fictional Rockstar, meet Sarcastic Fringehead.
Heather (of Dooce) is a popular SAHM who was raised as a Mormon and once lived in Los Angeles.
Neilochka (of Citizen of the Month) is known as a Jewish blogger from Los Angeles. He likes to match bloggers together in the hope of looking “noble and selfless” to his flighty readers, so they feel all guilty and don’t take him off their blogroll.Â
Heather, meet Neil. Neil, meet Heather.
Would anyone else like to take a shot at being a Yenta the Blogmatcher?
UPDATE:Â I’ve been so successful today, I’m adding some more:
Danny and 2 Blowhards — you should be reading each other.Â
Jessica, have you met V-Grrrl, a mother and American expatriate living in Belgium? V-Grrrl, can you believe that this knockout has teenage children?!
Sarcomical, you are a creative writer — have you met Eileen, who has her first novel coming out in February 2007? Eileen, you must check out Sarcomical’s wild photographic self-portraits.
Pearl, have you met Orieyenta, the coolest kosher babe in hot Miami? Orieyenta, have you met the hottest kosher babe in cold Toronto?Â
Felicity, I know you like taking NSFW photos of yourself, which made it difficult to pair you with someone, but I think you’ll really get along with the Argentine-born Mari, and enjoy her artwork, which is an “expression of feminine power in art.” Mari, I think you will be inspired by Felicity.
Kevin, I think you and Pete have similar senses of humor! Pete, you better start watching “24” if you want to click with Kevin!
Amanda and Jody — you have more in common than you know!
Deezee and Lynn — you both have poetry in your soul!
Schmutzie and Sarah — Have you never met? You’re like long-lost cousins!
Miss Sizzle, meet EEK.
Anomie-Atlanta, meet Akaky.
P.S. — Since we are on the subject of blogger love, here is one of the most moving acts I’ve seen on the blogosphere, proving that we’re not a bunch of narcissistic nuts –  over 200 knitting and crocheting bloggers have joined forces to make knitting squares on their own time for the sick grandmother of knitting blogging queen Laurie of Crazy Aunt Purl. If only Congress could be so organized.
A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month:Â A Walk Around the Block
Neil, this is great! I can’t wait to visit these blogs.
OMG love it – love it! I want a match!! I can’t wait to check out these links..
Oooh! I win! I win! Um, or something. I already have Sarah’s blog on my reader, and love her writing. I just don’t know any of these places she goes, sniffle.
WHOOT! I’m all pumped now. Thanks Neil!
Cool idea, Neil. I wonder if they’ll last?!
Very cool. I can’t wait to visit my match and all the other blogs. Thanks for the hook-up! I went to school in Washington DC.
One thing, though. I don’t think there is one single person who lives in Dallas who loves the Houston Astros. I live in the Houston suburbs, not Dallas. Living in Dallas would be, for me, life’s cruelest moment.
oh, neil, i feel like i’ve won the miss american pageant {sniff, sniff}. though i don’t know how humanity critic…but thanks for the setup, i’ll check him out immediately.
OMG – I totally got a blogmatch! Can’t wait to check her out. And the rest of these sites as well – there are a lot of new ones here!
Now I suppose there’s the little matter of your fee… ?
Oh Neil, you ARE such a Yenta. Thanks for matching me up. (I’ve been quietly reading that blog for a few weeks now. However did you know?)
This is so fun! What a great idea Neil. I hope Dooce returns your affections for her.
Sigh. Always a bridesmaid and never a bride.
Oh, thank you! I’m also going to check out more than just my match, here.
But…WASPy? You said that because I told you I’m a preacher’s kid, admit it. 🙂
Let’s see if there’s a match for me out there:
I’m an American expat in Belgium caught between two cultures, two kids, two languages and my opening and closing acts in life, thus my blog is called V-Grrrl in the Middle. I’m a former journalist, editor, and PR writer who was born in New York but lived most of my life in the South. I also blog for expatica.com under the name V-Grrrl in Belgium.
I’ve finally overcome my conservative Catholic upbringing and feel no shame about “one post stands.” Come by and see me sometime, Sugar.
I want to try my hand at match making: Wendy meet Jessica. Jessica meet Wendy.
Again with Dooce…oy, what a putz!
omg, you dissed me? No match for Felic? And Dooce? Are you kidding me? What, are you gonna go buy your clothes at the mall, now, too??
Feh, I say.
In the meantime, know I do still love ya Neil. I can forgive.
Phew! So far, so safe.
Yet color me morbidly curious who you’d match me with.
Will you also be providing prenuptial agreements for any matches that stick?
What, no match for me? Sigh. I’m going to be alone forever.
I like the quick descriptions of each blog. It makes it less intimidating when looking at your extremely large…blog roll. I’ll check a lot of them out once I’m off work.
Oh, crap. I guess I’ll have to tidy up if there’s going to be a lot of sex-type business soon.
There, um, *will* be a lot of sex-type business soon…right?
BTW, Neil failed to mention that Girl with the Java Curls is also a kickass scrapbook artist. Some of her work is on her site so you can see her fab photos AND her fab layouts all in one place.
this was such a great idea. i did notice you failed to match your penis with anyone? i’m sure there would be some guest bloggers out there that would be perfect for him.
Jessica — I figured you were way too popular already to need another blogfriend.
Felicity — You were a hard one. Other women might might jealous of your athletic body. And men’s wives would divorce them if I matched you with a fellow.
Neil…riiiiight.
Felicity (since we’re both matchless and you are, apparently, hot) – call me!
I wish somebody out there loved me…
I hear Jews and Mormons make good matches *grin*
Jessica — Remember, I am very jealous. The real “blog crushes,” like yourself, I would never introduce to anyone else. I’m still waiting for the day when you delete your entire blogroll except for me.
You ain’t kidding me, Neil; that guy with the black bowtie is not Jewish. As for Jews and Mormons getting along, Mormons traditionally refer to non- Mormons as Gentiles, thereby causing one of the odder religious conundrums when, in 1916, the state of Utah elected its first Gentile governor, a Jew named Simon Bamberger. Utah, a place where Jews and goys are one and the same: assimilation at last.
Neil, you’re very brave to attempt this, even in fun. No matter what you say, people who are not mentioned will feel slighted. The Dooce match was a hoot—do you actually ever read her site? She has more ads than Amazon and I still don’t get the no comments thing. But more power to her, I am obviously still writhing in jealousy that she is able to support herself from her so-called blog.
V-grrrl, your description got me, I’ve already added you to my blogroll. Ex-pat, over 40, two cultures, kids, editor: I’m IN.
Sorry, Neil – you’ll never have me to yourself. You will forever share me with none other than the fabulous and beautiful…….SOPHIA!
Oh, Danny. Bloggers are very mature people. They would never be slighted just because I’ve created a hierarchy of readership of those worthy to be in a blog relationship and those better off writing their blog in a notebook and then burning it in a sacrificial fire. At least I still remember their names, although I do sometimes get confused with all the Heathers and Taras. Bloggers still run to Dooce’s site and she doesn’t even put out a welcome mat.
i’m going to pretend like i didn’t notice that no one is a good blogmatch for me. it’s hard, but i’ll pretend.
i imagine this list was VERY hard to come up with though…i’m having a hard time just thinking of ONE pair. but here it is:
two of my favorite ladies…
Jonniker, you funny funny girl in Florida who hates Florida, meet Stacy at Jurgen Nation, fabulous photographer and also funny girl who’s actually getting a chance to move to California soon.
I think it could be true love…
I think you have a strange and disturbing gift in this area.
Neil I think you’re match for me was perfect. I love her and I’ll be putting her on my blogroll for sure.
Now, about that boyfriend?
Lemme assume that vacant, for now, editor’ position and wag a finger at you, mister.
The whole idea is an abridged version of this post. It’s a “haven’t-I-heard-it-at-Sainfield”, “Didn’t-Sedaris-had-a-story-like-that?” again. Only made plainer, stamped with “for for people unable to tend for themselves” and covered with “goodwill” syrop.
And yes, I am that fox with the sour grapes, you have a problem with that?
Look what I’ve been missing by being absent a couple of days? I hope I’m invited to the wedding.
oops… i missed that yday. guess i’ll really be single for a while then. i was really thinking that you could be my savior.
btw, how could a yenta match himself? without even a disclaimer? that is cheating, no?
My success rate has been so good that I’ve added six new pairs onto the post. Check it out:
Danny and 2 Blowhards
Jessica and V-Grrrl
Sarcomical and Eileen
Pearl and Orieyenta
Felicity and Mari
Kevin and Pete
And am I the only one brave enough to be a matchmaker?
Neil, If you could only figure out a way to make money from this Yenta Biz! You are excellent at this. Looking forward to reading all the matches!
If he can accept Jack Bauer as his one true Lord, then I shall take Pete’s hand in cybermatrimony.
Wow, that was a lot of hard work and keen observation on your part Neil.
I made my way over to Modigli’s and introduced myself. LOL.
Felicity, you rock. Hard. I’m so glad I’m your match. There’s no artwork on my blog yet, but you can have a browse here:
http://www.saatchi-gallery.co.uk/yourgallery/artist/details.php?id=6674
Neilochka, legendary work. I love Chantel’s blog. Thank you. I’m with her on the boyfriend thing to!
What a great concept, Neil! I’m stopping over from Fringes’ blog and her matchmaking celebration.
i got all giddy when i saw you were quoting fiddler on the roof, but was quickly deflated when i saw i was unmatchable – neil, hook a sister up!
You have performed a great Mitzvah (good deed) today even though I received no matches. 🙁 I believe that you have better plans for me!
i {heart} u, neil.
(that wasn’t sarcastic)
This is like kismet — Amanda and Jody, you are ideal for each other! You don’t realize how much you have in common!
this is all very impressive. I, too, like the brief intros as a means of stumbling into a pair. Does that mean I’m inviting myself to a threesome??? Is that bad etiquette or just bold? (or pathetic…)
Deezee, I’m going to take a risk with you. I know you’re not a poet. but I feel poetry in your soul. Take a look at Lynn at Sprigs.
i’m pretty new to the whole blogging scene and with so many crap blogs out there it can be hard to find well written, interesting blogs. i’ve checked out several of your matches and they seem be both well written AND interesting. thanks.
thanks, Neil. I gave her most recent post a read and it’s beautiful. I’ll be back.
does that mean I have to give up threesomes? just when I was getting my nerve up…
No one goes away empty-handed on Citizen of the Month. Just leave your name and you WILL have a match by tomorrow morning! I have hired a team of professionals to work overtime. I am a professional. Then, according to Sophia, I’m done with cheap gimmicks on this blog for a while.
Neil, thanks for the intro to Amanda. You are a very good Yenta. Now about my love life….
Wow, Neil. You’re going to be up all night if you keep going like this. Now it feels just like one big happy blogging family. I wish I had a proper blogroll, I wouldn’t just add felicity, I would add the whole lot! Including you of course.
I should have added – just in case you were worried – a true Yenta match with a man – is that too much pressure?
Since we all saw your fabulous bed last week, Jody, I’m not sure why you should be having any problems on your own. I would expect men would want to stay over just to sleep on that beauty!
Yay! Harrassing you paid off! Can’t wait to get acquainted with V-Grrl!
So apart from the fact that you’ve left my blog desperate and dateless still, this was a great way to get a heads up on some interesting reading. Maybe someone’d be okay with a three-some? 😉
Yay! I got matched! I’m heading over to see this Sarah person tout de suite.
That sounds like a dangerous offer. You will get no sleep.
That said, I’m not getting any sleep either… so what the hell. 🙂
I think Sophia is grossly over estimating our intelligence and attention span.
I object to Sophia calling this a cheap gimmick. Look at how many smiles you created today! WE LOVE YOU NEIL! I also agree with Non-highlighted Heather – on the attention span! 🙂
Neil: How could you send Paul to me?! Now he’s like a rabid stalker, calling me 10 times per hour, mailing me love letters, showing up uninvited at my doorstep. Frankly, he’s scaring me. At first I thought it was quirky but cute, but when he began killing squirrels and leaving them on the hood of my car, it was too much. I’m calling the cops.
*sigh* still waiting…i know there’s a match out there for me somewhere!
I feel so left out Neil…it’s just like being last to picked on a team…some things in life never change.
Neil, thanks for the hook-up Brooke is fun and funny and right-on. I will link her as soon as I have time this weekend.
Neil, what a whole lot of work you put into this — most impressive.
Nice of you to match me with Orieyenta. Very interesting reading.
Are you planning any menage-a-trois matches, or just couples?
Neil, I am afraid Deezee is too good for me!
Cruisin’, have you read Ariela In New York?
Wendy, have you met Suzette?
wow! very interesting….love to know more about your matches.
Damn, I missed the blogmatching!
Great idea, Neil. I might use it. Although I guess I’d have to start reading more than a handful of bloggies.
Cute matches.
I just wished I had the time to read their blogs…oh, this semester is of school is just brutal.
Great! How did you know I was silently pining to be matched? Must go visit Wendy to find out if she was recently rear-ended by a teen-age driver, has an arm injury from repeatedly dragging a suitcase through airports, or what other area of common ground we might have.
Cool concept, Neil.
Thanks for hooking me up Neil! I’m off to check out Ali’s site!
Neil, that was brilliant. Truly.
Shana Tovah, btw.
As usual, am a day (or two) late, dollar (or whatever) short, but color me wicked impressed by all the matching mojo!
do me, baby!
I hear Dr. Phil has a matchmaking site and I was thinking of giving him a try, but before I do, why don’t you give it a shot? Wanted: tall male blogger who likes non-outdoorsy dorky karaoke singers.
OMG, thank you Neil. I went, I read, I commented, we’re talking 🙂 E.
Neil, once again you show us your genius self. I’ve been so out of the blogging loop that I’m just now seeing this. Wonderful idea and thank you for thinking of me!
When I grow up I want to write well enough to deserve a match. Still loving your blog and getting caught up.
Love your David Sedaris searcher Michelle