Month: March 2006 (Page 3 of 3)

I have worn the same basic white underwear for most of my life:  white Fruit of the Loom or Hanes briefs that I buy in a three-pack at Target.    Sometimes, I might throw in some color, but not very often.

I never gave much thought to my underwear.  I know my father always wore boxers, but I always assumed that those were “old man” type underwear.  I figured that men’s underwear was mostly a practical piece of clothing, mostly to prevent your dick from getting caught in the zipper.

But lately, I’ve been noticing that my style briefs have a bad reputation, something that I had no idea about.

I recently saw an online quiz which revealed “What Your Skivvies Say About You.”  My standard underwear got very poor reviews.

A Man who is wearing Tighty-Whities is telling the world: As far as maturity and mental development go, I peaked in the second grade. My idea of accomplishment is winning an internet flamewar. I can’t cook, and there’s a good chance my mother still does my laundry. Also, I couldn’t get laid if I walked into a whorehouse wrapped in treasury bills.

Wow!  I”m a walking fashion emergency.  And are they really known as “tighty-whites?”  How embarrassing!

Another online quiz asks —What kind of underwear do you wear?

Only 9% say they wear briefs.  9%!

That can’t be true.  Who buys all those 3-packs at Target?

Just what I need.  More things to angst over.  Work.  Relationships.  Health.   Now — my underwear.

So, dear readers, I need your advice.  in order to perfect my Neilochka makeover, do I really need to throw out all my “tighty-whites?”

When I take off my pants — is this what a woman really wants to see on a sophisticated, well-dressed man?