Tonight begins Yom Kippur, the holiest day in the Jewish calendar. It is the day where you fast and ask God for forgiveness for the sins of the previous year and "the book" is officially closed on the old year. The central Yom Kippur prayer is a recitation of a long list of sins — things like stealing, gossip, murder, etc. Everyone asks for forgiveness as a community for each of the sins, even if you didn’t do any of them.
Over the last couple of months, I’ve really appreciated the community of bloggers. But no group is perfect. We have our own sins.
Say with me:
We have used false names for ourselves.
We have gossiped about celebrities.
We have spread lies about politicians.
We have insinuated things about Tom Cruise’s sexual orientation and sanity.
We have envied other bloggers who have book deals and large readerships.
We have had sexual fantasies about other bloggers.
We have spend two hours on the Boobie-thon web site trying to find a blogger’s breasts.
We have googled a blogger, trying to find her real name.
We have added a popular site to our blogroll just to look cool.
We have deleted a site from our blogroll because he wrote something stupid.
We have been vain and searched our stats 20 times a day.
We have commented on our own site, writing "Best. Post. Ever."
We have stretched the truth on our posts.
We have plagiarized someone else’s good idea.
We have failed to do the "meme" that we were "tagged" for.
We have written a comment to someone and then realized it was the wrong person.
We have spend more time writing on the blogs on of the opposite sex than that of our own gender.
We have written something encouraging to someone when we really wanted to say, "Buy yourself some Prozac already!"
We have written a comment on someone’s blog that was more about ourselves than the person’s topic.
We have written a comment that stops the flow of the conversation dead.
We have cursed Blogger’s new spam verification.
We have spammed.
We have argued with other bloggers.
We have insulted other bloggers.
We have written too much about Lindsay Lohan.
We have kept our blogs hidden from loved ones.
We have not kept our blogs hidden from loved ones.
We have neglected our families and work to blog.
Love it. May have to print this one out.
Oh the litany of sins. I’m saving this one for the general absolution that Catholics can get around Easter time. Have an easy fast, Neil.
Much of these are too true. Neil, unfortunately, you are one of those bloggers I envy. Mostly because of your template, unique domain, and flash Technorati tags. Guilty as charged.
We have had sexual fantasies about other bloggers.
Oh Crap! That can’t really be a sin?! Does that mean I have to apologize and ask forgiveness of EVERYONE I have sexual fantasies about? Like I have that kind of time with all the time I waste blogging.
Shoot, I never even thought to do half of these! Better get started…
Have an easy fast, Neil. Shana tova!
See, I felt pure as a new born until I reached the “sexual fantasy” line.
Now I feel used, dirty, and cheap.
Oh who am I kidding.
I always wondered why you blogrolled me. You know I’m a man, right? A married man, I might add. But enough about me. What do YOU think about me? Etc.
Nice and funny. Have an easy and meaningful fast. Shana tovah!
Alright here are mine:
I once participated in an orgy on someone’s comment board.
I once posted an excerpt from my Nanowrimo project where the Jesuit priest character had sex with one of his students.
I visit other people’s blogs and don’t comment.
I don’t always reply to people’s comments on my blog.
I let weeks go by without posting.
I’ve posted song lyrics in their entirety on my blog,with no explanation on why the song was relevant.
I’ve posted too many pictures of myself.
May you have an easy fast, and very happy and sweet new year.
Have an easy fast.
Wonderful! Have an easy fast.
Good thing I’m not a blogger.
to all have a happy and healthy year
I didn’t just have sexual fantasies about other bloggers – I actually hooked up with one. I’ve reached a whole new level of blogging sin.
Best. Post. Ever.
We have blogged without pants.
We have blogged with pants but they were down around our ankles.
We have blogged with pants on, correctly worn, snug around the waist, and had to change them afterwards.
We have been discouraged by the notion that most bloggers were more interesting than our real-world friends.
We have been encouraged by the notion that, while in the real-world no one can write worth shit, and often have nothing interesting to say, many bloggers can write and do have something interesting to say (even if it’s silly).
Heavens … what have you started? This could go till next year.
It was worth it, Neil. I finally found your boobies on Boobiethon!
But … my real name IS Jodi. And if you wanted to see my tits, all you had to do was ask. Silly boy.
P.S. Is it a sin to say “tits” on someone’s blog? Especially a few hours before the onset of Yom Kippur?
Neil–
We have “stretched the truth” on our comments, as well.
…T…R…U…T…H…
I give compliments readily when I think someone is worthy of them. You and your writing, Neil, continue to be worthy…and BRILLIANT.
Keep it up — your brilliant writing, I mean!
May you and Sophia have an easy fast, and be inscribed in the Book of Life for a better year. (this is where you say, “Amen.”)
I have blogged to avoid talking to my wife.
have a healthy and happy new year.
UH. Speak for yourself, buddy!
Heh, just kidding…I’m guilty!
Neil, do you really think God had Lindsey Lohan in mind when instructing us to ask for forgiveness? You have been through alot these last few weeks, and yet you still find it within yourself to continue to bring us laughter…wishing you a healthy and peaceful year.
Guilty!!! of pretty much that entire list, and more
:::blush:::
I have NEVER written about Lindsey Lohan!
Forgive me father for I have sinned (well, that’s what Catholics say anyways)…
Some other blogging sins? Here’s some:
Writing comments to blog friends while peeing.
Spending entirely too much time reading blogs of men I find interesting.
Commenting on someone’s blog to get them to realize that you are a reader.
Flirted incessantly with fellow bloggers to get some extra flirting practice in.
Jodi — God made ‘tits’ so why would it be a sin to mention them? In fact, from my point of view, it’s one of His greatest achievements.
Megan — what a geek you are. A wireless set-up in the bathroom! Don’t tell me you also blog in the bathtub?
Brooke — in your case, let’s make it Vitto Mortensen.
Well if you put that way, blogging is is a sin. Hope you have an easy fast. Made me smile.
I’m just thankful I’m not the only one guilty of 8 out of 10 of these.
These aren’t sins . . . this is a “how to†list.
Like the recommendation on my Nyquil: Mix with alcohol and drive heavy machinery
How about trying to find your OWN boobies on Boobiethon?
I haven’t done this one yet: We have commented on our own site, writing “Best. Post. Ever.”
…and I’m wondering why I hadn’t thought of it! 🙂
That’s VIGGO!!!! And I don’t gossip about him. I just write about how much I want to do him.
What’s this about using false names? Never happened.
Forgive me as I have sinned! For sure! It’s so fun though! Have a good Yom Kippur–you’re teaching me a lot about Jewish culture and religion!
Pick one – “Tis’ better to ask forgiveness than permission.” or “No regrets. None. And I enjoyed every moment!”
I’ve done, like, most of these, over ten time, TODAY.
I am the Great Bloggin Satan.
(Hell, I’m doing one or two of them right here, right now).
I just googled your name… I didn’t know you were a cardiologist! I’m very impressed. There are so many things I don’t know about you, Mr. Kramer.
[StopComment] We have blogged next to a half bucket of vomit.[/StopComment]
We have blogged without anything to say.
you WERE watching me weren’t you (hey, awesome post)
I’ve never insinuated anything about Tom Cruise’s sanity or sexual orientation; I’ve said it out loud, he’s a short gay crackpot.
a good actor, though, if you keep him away from period pieces, but then who would he act with?
What about envying writers with book deals but small blog readerships?
🙂
Deadline was today. “The End” was pretty gratifying to type.
NJ
I think Nancy is taunting us…no, I’m sure Nancy is taunting us. By the way, does the guy with the horn take requests?
Akaky,
Perhaps I could’ve said it more succinctly:
nah-nahnny-boo-boo!
🙂
NJ
Wait, did you just call me a geek Neilsy? I’m so gonna get you back.
STOP!!!! My side hurts – too funny!
Is using a false name a sin?? I don’t think that’s true in the Catholic church…
There were so many boobs on boobie-thon this year I didn’t even recognize mine!
Non-meme participating? Guilty. Written comments that stops the flow of conversation? I never mean to, but I seem to have a real talent for it! lol I don’t think I’ve ever written anything encouraging to another blogger while wondering when they’re gonna buy themselves Prozac. But I have wondered why I haven’t bought Prozac for myself. hehe
Nancy, you stop being mean or I’m gonna tell Mom on you! (runs away and hides in his corner, sniffling) And I am NOT crying, it’s my hay fever again!
i coulda just sent you pic of my breasts directly. two hours! hee hee. 😉
Uh-oh, I think I’ve been outed. Sizzle, just wanted to say it was worth every moment of the two hours.
LOL.
These were great Neil! And allowed me to feel sufficiently self righteous, in that I have only commited half of these, and the lesser of the sins.
🙂 God Bless me!
;-)3T
Year late. Dollar short.
But now that I’ve read it…
I probably should have fasted this year.
Awesome. But of course this is really about me.