You can say a lot of bad things about how men are judgmental about women, but you can’t say that a man judges a woman by her height. You’ll never see a man thinking to himself:
 “Oh, wow. She just took off her clothes and is beckoning to me to come into her bedroom. She wants me to stay over and have sex with her tonight. Dammit. If only she wasn’t three inches shorter than me! Better I just go home and watch “The Real Gilligan’s Island” on my Tivo.”
What is it with women and their obsession with a man’s height? I don’t think I’ve read one “dating blog” where a woman didn’t complain about one of her date’s height.
“He was too short…”
“He definitely lied about his height in his Jdate profile…”
“If I wanted a midget, I would have fucked someone in the circus…”
What’s the big deal with you women? Haven’t you ever heard the saying, “The best things come in small packages?” Why do you really need a taller man? It’s all in your head. If you need to get something from the top of the refrigerator — that’s why they invented a step stool.
I’m not exactly sure why our culture considers it “better” for the man to be taller than the woman. I looked it up on Google, thinking it may be related to our hunting and gathering days. I didn’t find anything.
And wouldn’t it better if a hunter was shorter? Who’s going to more easily hide behind that rock — Tattoo from Fantasy Island or basketball star Yao Ming?
Hollywood hasn’t help things for shorter men. Even when a male star is short (and many of them are), they need to find a love interest that’s even shorter. Every once in a while, I see a female celebrity shopping in a Beverly Hills supermarket or drinking a coffee in Starbucks. It’s shocking to see how tiny they are. I think in real life, Jennifer Aniston is like 3 feet tall!
One of my best friends from New York is a fairly short guy. He’s married now, with two beautiful children. His wife is taller than him, and she’s never complained.
In fact, when I see this picture of Gary Coleman, I think it would be great to be his height. Never again would a woman say to me, “My eyes are right here, not down there.”
Ugh, the girl on the right looks like she needs a couple of Happy Meals.
Ok, so how tall are you?
And I’m short, so everyone is tall compared to me.
Brooke, he’s 6′or 6′1″.
…and Neil, your shorter friend’s wife is always complaining about everything, so you might just not see the forest for the trees…
The last guy I dated was 5’5″, and I am 5’11”. I love shorter men. Adore them, even. It’s so sexy to walk together with his arm around my waist and my arm draped over his shoulder.
I think the happy meals are stuffed in those girls’ bras.
Yo go, Jo! (and dang, girl! YOU’RE TALL!) Personally, I don’t NEED a guy to be taller. But I don’t like extremely shorter. At least be my height: 5’6″. That shouldn’t be too hard to find. I think 5’6″ is considered short for a guy.
I’ll admit it. I feel weird dating guys shorter than me, but I have done it. I just prefer to be with men taller than me. Why is that so horrible?
I’m 5’9″ and it is damn near impossible to find a Jewish guy taller than myself who doesn’t act like an ass. At least here in LA.
So the question for you then is. Why is being short worse to date then being an ass?
Tricks they use to make male movie stars look taller:
http://tinyurl.com/d5rur
I find this all to be quite funny. When I was younger I dated a few women who were taller than me. It is all about the attitude.
I dated a tall gal for awhile. I am 5’10” or was, I think I have shunk with age, and she was about 6’1″ at least.
Not to be toooo risque, but it all evens out when you are horizontal anyway.
Hilary’s right about tall Jewish men. The pickings are slim. I am 5’7″ and once had a relationship with a man my height, but that was the last. He was just too short. Sorry, but short men are just a huge turn off to me.
I’ve never thought about height much.
I have dated guys shorter than me (I’m 5’4″), the same height, and taller.
I was going to say I find short guys sexy, cause those are the guys I have been around recently… but thinking about it, I think plenty of tall guys are hot too. Like the time I met Penn Gilet… that man is huge! and hot hot hot!
I think there are much more important qualities to make and break a relationship on… yes everyone has preferences, but I think it is important to look at the person as a whole, not just a series of checks on a qualifing list.
Stacey,
You just never know what you are missing. Sometimes a small package can reveal a very large personality.
Even in cleveland there are some worthwhile monkeys.
Of course the whole package needs to be evaluated, but there has to be chemistry. And I have none with short men (or monkeys, Jack).
1. I think I’m genetically predisposed to love beanpoles. Or it’s nuture and has to do with my grandpa and my favorite aunt both having been beanpoles. Which still could make attraction to beanpoles genetic, since people in my family keep choosing beanpoles.
2. That said, I’m an open-minded girl, and I’ve dated one guy who is 5’5″, which felt short to my 5’4″, and one guy who was actually significantly shorter than me. Both times, the size issue was totally on their side of the situation. Both would have preferred to be with a shorter girl. Even so, I recently found myself attracted to someone significantly shorter than I, and it was his life situation and his voice that ultimately turned me off.
3. Still, I’ve found that 5’10” is truly as low as I would prefer to go, even while remaining open-minded to cupid’s arrow of choice. I definitely DO find it EXTREMELY annoying to go on a date with a man who has lied about his height on the Internet. That’s mostly because I find that really lame and not a sign of a good character.
I’m barely five feet tall so I look up to everyone else.
This reminds me of an episode from Sex and the City, when Samantha dated a midget. She didn’t mind the height because he was good in bed, but dumped him after finding out that he shopped at the boys’ department.
I guess that’s it. Short men remind us of boys.
I wish it wasn’t the case. As a mother of two boys who will probably inherit my short genes, I worry about them getting disqualified from the dating scene because of they’re height. Good thing they’re incredibly handsome. 😉 They at least have that on their side.
But with regards to hunting and gathering skills as it relates to height, sure, the shorter guy can hide better, but the taller guy has longer arms to catch things and longer legs to run after his prey.
At least they’re handsome? Only the faces a mother would love right?
Men get upset when women lie about their weight on their online dating profiles — what’s so wrong with dating fat women?
Also, to be slightly pedantic, Samantha kept dating that guy for two whole weeks after she found out about the boys’ department, since he made her laugh.
This is a bit of a pet peeve of mine, being a shorter guy (5’5″). I don’t care if a girl is shorter than me or taller. I just don’t care. But they usually do. Bottom line though, it irritates, but I just ignore it. If that’s what matters to them, they’re prob not right for me anyway!
Oh, and I also make up for my lack of stature in presence. Even people who know me don’t believe I’m actually 5’5″ (or maybe 5’4 1/2″). I frequently have to make people stand right next to me to see it!
And that Coleman picture is freakin hilarious. I literally laughed out loud.
In this world of cosmetic enhancement, there’s always options. The Chinese are big on leg-lengthening surgery these days. Check it:
http://tinyurl.com/bkpth
But seriously, I guess superficial things like height make a difference to some people. If someone didn’t want to date me because I’m too short for them (I’m 5′ 9″ but apparently this “average male height is still too short for some ladies), then who needs ’em? If they don’t like you for who you are, you’re better off without them.
Of course the whole package needs to be evaluated, but there has to be chemistry. And I have none with short men (or monkeys, Jack).
You never know what chemistry exists if you don’t give it a shot. It is similar to when people in cleveland learned that there was no reason to be scared of indoor plumbing.
Wow, this thread of comments got really long in a short span of time! Short men rule! Stacey, I don’t know what to say but I guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I don’t think it’s particularly nice to put men and monkeys in the same sentence, though. People are people and everyone is different. I have met tall jerks, medium jerks and short jerks. In my experience, there are an equal amount of great and bad guys of varying heights out there. Btw, I don’t know why this is, but the shorter men were ALWAYS better in the sack.
My mother is married to a short man and she is very happy. 😉 She tells her (very close) friends that a short man does not mean a short everything. In fact, she mentions this Russian tale about how when God was giving out penises, he hung them on a string, and men could only grab what they could reach. The tall men could easily reach the short ones, but the short men had could only reach the ones hanging down very low. Works for her…
Shouldn’t we be careful about using phrases like “a small package”? We might be confusing categories, or at least usurping good material for another posting.
FWIW, I’m 5’9″ and wear thick glasses, and I landed myself a six-foot California blonde. (Who da man?) Even in the sack it’s clear that there’s more of her lengthwise than there is of me. What fun. She tells me she’s always liked guys shorter than she is, at least the ones who have the gumption to come on to six foot blondes.
Hey man, there are some guys *cough*me*cough* who all they have going for them is their height. When you are a lanky, uncoordinated, and generally goofy looking dude, and you meet a who would otherwise be totally out of your league except she “really likes tall guys” that is about as good as it gets.
Well for me it’s a couple of things. I’m 5’9″ so when I wear avg heels (3″) I’m 6 feet of woman. I was also a year older and a foot taller that everyone including all the boys in my classes, for years, and they didn’t like it. I was an easy target and spent everything before college being someone’s victim/punching bag, and the shorter the guy (or girl come to think of it) the meaner they were.
Secondly I was told, in all seriousness, by a fellow whose eye level was level with my cleavage, that it was exciting to conquer a tall girl. I’m not a mountain and I know not all people think of that but I never forgot that. It’s not the kind of challenge I want to be anyways. Also every petite man that has pursued me has thought it a good idea to tell me how weird/abnormal/scary/ dominatrix they think I am and how they want me to do bad bad things to them. Some even have crush fantasies tht are just sick!
I know they say dating taller guys is about women wanting a man that can protect them and such. I sometimes think it’s a status symbol. I like guys, I really do but I have a predjudice that keeps me from seriously dating a guy very much shorter than I am. I admit I’m a heightist and I’m ashamed, but I haven’t been able to change that behaviour yet 🙁
“People are people and everyone is different. I have met tall jerks, medium jerks and short jerks.”
Jo-Anne, I was not making a value judgment. Of course jerks abound in all sizes.
I was merely stating my own personal preference…and like it or not, we all have preferences. I merely meant that I am not attracted to men my height or shorter.
I am 5ft 3 and the wife if 5ft 7 or 8 and we do fine.
Dang I thought I was taller than Tom Cruise, I’m crushed LOL
M
I’ved dated several of the women on the Los Angeles Sparks (WNBA) and they never had any problem with me.
have you seen “The Station Agent”? That dwarve gets a lot of action.
uh, dwarf.
Just from this comment thread, you have your answer. The tall women dug short guys, the short women dug tall guys. Opposites, we want what we don’t have.
I’m 6’4″, I fucking love it, a lot of women do as well. It’s a good thing, as I have no personality to speak of.
Oh, and the obvious answer: tall guys have big dicks.
Hey, I dig ALL guys. I don’t care if he’s shorter or taller, just as long as he is nice and treats me well. I think many women echo that sentiment.
I think you would be surprised the percentage of women who don’t even see you as a man if you are short. I wonder why height is the only characteristic women use as a requirement? I don’t see dating profiles saying if you are fat or ugly to keep scrolling. But short all the time.
Well, Jo-Anne, maybe many women but not most women. The height thing is BIG for women all right. I think it’s those rescue fantasies — wanting to feel like a little girl who’s being taken care of. Men who can do that in other ways besides height (money, power) can erase the unsexiness of being short. For the rest of us, even if we’re average height (which is 5’9″, not 6’1″, ladies), it’s probably best to look for shorter women. While of course keeping an eye out for those tall girls who truly don’t care about height.
The annoying thing to me is that the same woman who will jump down your throat for saying that it’s unattractive for a woman to be a fat slob who doesn’t take care of her body will then announce her preference for a guy who’s at least six inches taller than her.
At 5’10” this has been an issue with me. I have mostly dated men much shorter than me. My fiance is 6′ and it’s great. Why? I can look up at him and it makes me feel like a delicate girl, not a towering Jolly Green Giant. To see him smiling benevolently down on me is just the greatest. ~sigh!~
I’m a 5’3″ guy. It all depends on the situation when attracting women. 1) If I get to know them in a close circle of friends then they’ll get to know the true me and overlook my height. 2) If she’s an acquaintance then it’ll just take some time for her to get to know me (much more time) and over look my height. 3) If it’s internet dating, forget it. Women see the numbers (5’3″) and run. I get creamed if it were just stats talking.
Which leads me to my next point. About internet dating, and about certain women who like taller guys: why don’t we put your measurements up on your profiles and you’ll realize just how much harder it is for short guys to attract women than someone who advertises their height as 6’2″ ? What if men started to look at waist and hip sizes to select their dates?
Pretty crazy huh? Don’t dismiss short guys. Not even really short guys. If it weren’t for a few select women out there I would have killed myself a long time ago (I mean it.)
Oh, and the obvious answer: tall guys have big dicks.
BULLSHIT!
Anonymous, shhhh. Are you trying to ruin it for all us tall guys by letting out the truth?
Now that’s what guys should list on their profile. Screw height, that’s the real info I want to know before going out.
I’m 5’6″ and I admit, I want a guy who’s at least 5’8″. I like feeling little and girly. Plus, I like heels.
However, I actually had a guy say I was too short for him to date. I guess guys do discriminate based on height, or at least this one did. He was 6’2″. I just wanted to laugh, since I dated a guy who was 6’7″ for a bit.
What I don’t understand is how some women can say they are for “equality” between the sexes, but they want much taller men.
Has anyone seen this article that said that heightism causes short men to be much more likely to commit suicide than tall guys?
http://tinyurl.com/dxrkx
“The strong inverse association between height and suicide may signify the importance of childhood exposure in the aetiology of adult mental disorder or reflect stigmatisation or discrimination encountered by short men in their adult lives.”
Guys do a similar thing regarding women’s weight. Look at any internet dating site: there are a LOT of guys don’t hesitate to say they don’t want to date any woman who’s carrying a few extra pounds.
While discriminating against a person who’s overweight is certainly nothing to be proud about, it’s really not the same as discriminating against someone for being short.
Being overweight is unappealing for anyone, male or female; I know, I’m a short guy who let myself go for a few years and it was definitely unappealing, not to mention unhealthy.
But there are a lot of short guys who’re in great shape and fairly good-looking who are still automatically excluded by many women (often by women who are shorter than they are!)
If excluding a woman because she’s overweight is wrong, then excluding a man because he’s short (or to be more accurate–not tall enough to satisfy your childlike need for a father-figure) is even more wrong.
Ben, I think you should complain to UN.
I don’t think he needs to complain to the UN, Tatyana. But heightism seems to be a serious phenomenon, and it affects many aspects of our society. Dating is just one of these aspects. There have also been studies that demonstrate employment discrimination towards short men.
Tatyana, Judy, Kelly; your responses are typical of most women when confronted with discrimination.
Most women DO NOT want to look like they discriminate. They want to be beautiful in a beautiful world and when it is proposed to them they are bigoted their mental blocks go up and they defend themselves with a smile.
Sorry ladies. I’m not smiling. And neither are half the shorter men out there. If you want us as friends at least admit the fact that part of the bigotry lies with you; and that shoving this under the carpet is not going to make the problem (short romantic partners go away).
We all “discriminate” based on how people look. They’re too short, they’re too fat, their teeth are crooked, they don’t have enough hair. It’s just that, while people have resorted to extreme measures to eliminate these “flaws,” height is one thing that is beyond our control (unless you’re Chinese, apparently). As a result, I can imagine it’s very frustrating for lots of men. But nothing changes the fact that, no matter what you look like, looks can only get you in the door. For me, at least, I know it takes a lot more than a few inches here or there to make up for someone who can’t carry a decent conversation. It’s just a preference. If we’re going to call the preference for dating tall men “heightism,” we’re going to have to start using words like, “uglyism,” “bigbootyism,” “stupidism,” etc, etc, etc
To be clear, I mean discriminate for dating purposes. Not to throw bricks at.
No. Heightism is not the same thing as “uglyism”. It’s more like racism (but nowhere near that harmful)…If you really think about it, heightism is a lot like homophobia (assuming you think people don’t have a choice in their sexuality). Gay people are discriminated against as short people are often discriminated against. The only difference is that there is a growing awareness about gay bashing, but none about height.
Saying that wage disparities and a greater suicide rate is like “the penalty for not being beautiful” is like saying that social disparities from skin color is a result of not being “traditionally” beautiful. But we both know better. It’s bigotry, it’s discrimination, and it’s wrong.
(None of my above comments directly extends to dating. People have a right to date who they want to date. A woman who refuses to date black men is NOT a racist. My comments extend to general discrimination that short men face that women/men ignore and contribute to).
Helena: it’s easy to paint everything with the word “preference”. The line between preference and discrimination exists but becomes blurred when a woman insists on her “preferences”.
It’s okay to choose but when a girl never considers / objects to the idea of going out with a shorter man WITHOUT GETTING TO KNOW HIM FIRST; she discriminates. I say that in caps because women give men 30 seconds nowadays apparently for them to impress them. It is the same with black, asian, big-booties or overweight people.
Women easily cast shorter men aside for their dream beanpole date. As a result they sit at home with their easily disillusioned female friends wondering why they can’t get a date and why there are no good quality men out there.
Sound familiar? Then you should adjust your attitudes towards males esp. short males and then you might be pleasantly surprised. Maybe even fall in love.
Bruno, are you an affirmative action lawyer?
Girls don’t dig you coz you’re short – tough. You’re going thru classic Napoleon complex, pal. May be you should try his solution – compensate. Become Napoleon, you’ll have all Josephines in the world.
Ever seen all those Chinese girls – bow legs, short, no figure to speak of – and they get the best guys. You know why? They compensate.
Tough words from a tough girl. How was I being Napoleon by talking about the problem? Was I whining? No. Did I insult anybody (some of you have thin skins, Tatyana you’re one of them)? No.
Compensating (I think you probably mean be a nice guy – opposite of so-called Napoleon syndrome) is bad advice ‘cos most short guys ARE nice.
Isn’t that the hypocrisy then for short men? If you see a short guy as confident and argumentative, he’s Napoleonic. Too much of a nice guy, he’s a pussy and a pushover. Some of you ladies better start seeing in 3D; ‘cos the world is so much more greyer than that.
P.S. Short girls have all the leeway in the world when it comes to dating. I don’t know what you mean by asian girls compensating; they never have the stigma of being weak their male counterparts have. Theirs is not an image problem if you think about it.
Well, everyone reads whatever he wants into anything.
Your constant talk about discrimination – and how unfair etc – just so infantile, forgive me. What, have somebody promised you’ll be happy? You’re entitled to Pursuit of Happiness, not to Happiness Delivered to your door or money back. You can’t blame people for not liking you – you can’t force them to like you, you can only make yourself likable.
Google this sorcery machine you have for some info on Napoleon complex – it’s not about being nice or argumentative.
Compensation isn’t about “being nice vs. mean”. And I didn’t say a thing about supposed advantage of being short for girls, only of DISadvantage of having no feminine curves. But those of us with bow legs learned to redirect attention to something else.
The most popular guy in my college was 5’4″ – the funniest in any company, the kindest, athletic (weight-lifting and martials), dependable friend and most easy-going person in class. And he never bragged, too.
As to my thin skin – yes, it is and I do everything in my power to keep it such: I’m a woman.
Tatyana:
Forgive the rant; but a pursuit of happiness is nothing but a pursuit if the rest of the world thinks there is nothing you have to offer them.
Shorter guys have to work twice as hard, have a good sense of humour and infinite patience when it comes to love and money. Read the studies, ask short people (esp. men), all of them will affirm what I’ve been talking about.
1) Short men make less money than taller counterparts.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/1038531.stm
2) Shorter men are less likely to marry and have children.
http://www.shortsupport.org/News/0035.html
3) Shorter men must use old-fashioned face-to-face socializing and flirting in order to overcome stigmas regarding their height. I.e. online dating will crucify them.
http://www.shortsupport.org/Research/personals.html
Now I never take studies at face value and I usually laugh at the results. But the fact that there are conceivable differences between tall and short men should be expressed and above all discussed.
Finally, I’ll provide an example then I’ll shut up about this topic. If a person is accused of being racist say, he/she gets really serious and will always say earnestly “I am not a racist”.
If you accuse a person of being biased against short people, they’ll laugh and say something like “you silly person” and laugh it off (in your face). Then usually, you brace for the hit or the short joke.
There are many special interest groups out there and have had say throughout the years as their image has been tainted. Homosexuals, the disabled, those who suffer from lung cancer caused by cigarettes (Battle with Big Tobacco). Of course these people have had their rights and lives deeply affected in their conflicts and it took much effort in having their rights recognized.
The funny thing about short men is, we have all our rights and it is much more harder to apply them. We have the ability to date but have many odds (that tall people don’t have) to overcome. We have the ability to make a lot of money but are never taken seriously in the political or business arena. In other words, we are an invisible demographic. Overweight people are considered way too loud about the subject; but shorter people are considered to be too quiet.
Think about your college friend when you say short people have to be likeable; he sounds like he was James Bond with everything he was doing. But not all short people can be that way. Most short guys are normal guys-and that’s somebody I’d like to be, accepted for being a regular guy.
Bruno, you clearly did not read my comment before you launched into a tirade towards me. Please re-read carefully. You will see that I do not even STATE a preference. In addition, you will see that I am SPECIFICALLY talking about dating, and preferences in dating. DATING IS NOT A RIGHT. Inability to get laid does not make someone disabled.
You also imply things about me that I don’t appreciate. I have never sat around complaining to my friends about how hard it is to find a good man (watching too much Sex and the City?). As for finding a date, speak for yourself. I don’t have the slightest problem. You’d make more allies and get your point across better if you made valid arguments and left out the personal attacks. Take that chip off your shoulder if you want to be accepted for a regular guy.
Carl, to compare “heightism” to gay-bashing and racial bigotry is an exaggeration, and an insult to the people who have endured the devastating effects of hate crimes. I would like to hear of a case in which a man was beaten to death or lynched for being short.
What I’m saying is that IN DATING, we all have certain things we are attracted to. We are not required to lust Equal Opportunity style. And just because someone does or doesn’t gravitate towards the tall, short, thin, brunette, blonde or bow-legged, does not make discrimination.
Helena;
I 100% agree with you. It’s a free country. It’s just too bad it’s more free for one set of people than for others.
The following articles really do define a paradigm shift that’s necessary for some women to see short men for who they really are: men with a lot of romantic potential.
http://archive.salon.com/health/sex/urge/2000/02/29/short/
http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2004/11/08/short_men/
Yeah people are entitled to preferences. My point all along is saying that a man’s height has more of an effect on women than women realize.
“Carl, to compare “heightism†to gay-bashing and racial bigotry is an exaggeration, and an insult to the people who have endured the devastating effects of hate crimes. I would like to hear of a case in which a man was beaten to death or lynched for being short”
Helena,
A few things before I start:
1) I agree that calling women’s preferences “discrimination†is farcical. A woman (or man) who request a SWM 5’9â€+ Athletic, etc., is not a racist because she wants a single WHITE male…nor does it make her a heightist. Now, she might be a racist or a heightist, but not because of her choice in dating.
2) Brunno never “launched a tirade†into you. He simply explained his position, calmly and succinctly. While I don’t agree with everything he said, he certainly wasn’t attacking you by pointing out that height discrimination is bigotry. I have seen the things that he’s talked about. If a short guy speaks assertively, he has a complex…if it’s a tall guy, he is a leader.
3) I am not a short guy. I am 5’10†tall. So don’t play the role of the persecuted innocent person being attacked by a troll, after I finish my post.
First of all, if you read my post, you will see that I think that racism is MUCH worse than heightism. The only similar thing between the two is that they both are based on something that is not the “fault†of the person being discriminated against, and they both are stigmatized.
However, I do think that heightism is as serious as homophobia. The gay rights movement has come a long way; but under the surface, it was a movement to allow people of the same sex to have relationships without being hassled by others. You think that’s more serious than the discrimination that many short men face in our society on a daily basis? If so, you are ignorant about heightism (which most people are). Go here, and read some of the articles: http://www.shortsupport.org.
As far as the hate crime comment goes; do you honestly think that men haven’t been attacked or killed because they were seen as an easier target because they were shorter? Short men are not a recognized group, so no one is going to keep statistics on how many are killed or attacked. But no one kept any statistics on height and suicide until one group went back to pulled the suicide records and a pattern developed.
Also, don’t forget about the employment discrimination and the wage gap. Short men (aggregately) are paid less for doing the same job as their taller counterparts. So much so, that it is comparable to the gender and race wage gap. Short guys are (on average) paid $800 per year, per inch less than a 6’0†man. Do you still think it’s a joke?
One state has anti-height discrimination laws (Michigan), and several municipalities in California also have anti-height discrimination ordinances for employment and contracts.
There is also a serious problem in regards to general respect that short men have to contend with. While women’s preferences do not equal discrimination, they do give us a sense of the social standing of short men in a given society. Some of the sexual selection of women towards tall men is biological…but a large portion is social. Therefore, a society where many women have height cut-offs (often 5’10â€, and sometimes even 6’0â€) demonstrates the value that that society puts on height and the stigma it attaches to short stature.
http://www.shortsupport.org/Research/personals.html contains a research study on the world-wide preference for height in women’s internet love personal ads. If you believe the study; women in France are 12% more likely to include a short man (described as 5’4†or shorter in this study) within their potential suitors than American women. And yet, French women are (on average) AN INCH TALLER than American women. (See the article, or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_height). This does not mean that French women select short men more than American women; it only means that they are more willing to date them. This is a direct example of a cultural component in two societies, and it tacitly reflects the level of heightism in the United States (unless you think that only men are affected by heightism in their society).
So, ultimately, I do think that heightism is as serious as “gay bashingâ€. You might think it’s funny because there is little awareness about heightism in our society. But people would have laughed at the idea that a group would get together for their rights to have sex with people of their own sex….20 years ago. No one is laughing now.
Carl,
Bruno’s post contained remarks that were personal slights, and implied that I had a negative attitude towards short men, which I never indicated. This, to me, felt like a tirade. He was lashing out for things I didn’t even say. You may disagree. You’re entitled to. I also never said he had a complex, so please don’t put words in my mouth.
As far as discrimination against short people, I never laughed or mocked it.
I don’t dispute the existence of heightism. I dispute its being compared to racism or homophobia, and you don’t have to agree with me. I dispute personal attacks being used in intelligent discussions. That is all.
Last of all, please do not imply that I am playing victim here. I never have.
Helena,
We’ve posted tons of links. Let’s talk about the facts. We can talk about who offended who til we’re blue in the face. I’m just here to talk about heightism. So let’s talk. What is your opinion on the subject? Acknowledging the problem is the first step as you’re one of the few on this thread to actually do so. What would you do to combat heightism?
Thanks,
Bruno
PS: Carl, thanks for backing me up on this yeah.
Yes, you have posted tons of links, none of which I needed to prove to me that discrimination based on appearance exists. I came to comment on the subject of this post; dating, and women’s preferences for tall men vs. short men.
Although I appreciate your point of view and your frustration, I hope I don’t offend you when I say I have enough battles of my own with regard to equality to concern myself with heightism. I am a woman. I am hispanic. And I am a real girl living and working in the Shallowness capital of the world. My opinion is that people who want to discriminate against me can go ahead and do that; I strive to be an asset to my business, a blessing my man, and a credit to my gender, race, and shape. If heightism were my battle (and at five feet, it might be), I would combat it by doing the same thing I’ve done all my life: refusing to let other people dictate what I can and can’t do, and refusing to be a victim.
Good post, Helena.
But try to stay away from the idea that heightism is “discrimination based on appearance”.
That statement means nothing because racism, and every other form of bigotry, is “discrimination based on appearance”. By using that phrase, it almost sounds like you are trying to equate heightism with “uglyism†(your own word that you used to discount serious discrimination linked to a measurable variable to a preference based on an un-measurable & perceived variable).
Dating preferences for tall men vs. short men is not interesting by itself. The answer is easy there (people have the freedom of choice to like what they like). But it becomes interesting when we dig deeper to look at the heightism behind the choices. Also, I tend to think that some women like to declare their strong distaste for short men for two reasons: (1) it provides them with a safe way to express their heightism (the idea that shorter people [often male] are intrinsically inferior to taller) in a public forum, and (2) it allows them to broadcast their self-perceived high “desirability†to other females in that she would not reduce herself to associating with men who her society deems inferior.
You can see the second scenario play itself out on this very site. Some of the women who posted said that they would never dream of dating a short man, but they want us to know that their current boyfriend is over six feet tall. By doing this, they increase their self-worth (in their minds) because we live in a heightist society and they believe that they are better women because they could attract (what they perceive as) a “socially superior†boyfriend.
Helena,
Well we posted all the links and talked about the issues; we can argue about who offended who until we’re blue in the face. I came here to talk about heightism – and you acknowledged there was a problem with that; which is normally the first step in dealing with a problem.
So how would you as a person combat heightism? How would you after admitting there is a problem react if society continues to deem any shorter man you know inferior? (No, a one sentence answer won’t do here.)
Hey Carl, thanks for getting my back. Good points (all of them). I especially liked:
“Also, I tend to think that some women like to declare their strong distaste for short men for two reasons: (1) it provides them with a safe way to express their heightism (the idea that shorter people [often male] are intrinsically inferior to taller) in a public forum, and (2) it allows them to broadcast their self-perceived high “desirability†to other females in that she would not reduce herself to associating with men who her society deems inferior.”
Good analysis. I didn’t think that women would be so vain as to talk about that. I don’t know whether to feel better or worse but whatever. I guess women just want a socially superior person. That’s why the jock, the player and the popular guy always have no problems finding relationships. They have no qualities that separates them from other normal men; they just are surrounded by adoring people and women would still like to be accepted in these cases. I could be off base but I don’t care.
Good stuff, it’s cool to know bigger guys can have my back. It’s a societal problem and the more people who recognizes it the better….!
We’ve been linked to the “short support” web site. See here for more info on the topic.
http://www.shortsupport.org/Resources/Stories/index.html
I myself am 5’9″ i get called short all the time by women and not considered a worthy date, although my height its regarded as the male average in print. Is this right? i read that its from measurements taken from 21-74 year olds. Surely anybody over 50 will lose a little height to what they had at say…age 35, which brings the whole thing in to jepordy. Maybe its 5’10.5″ for a white male under 50 thesedays?
In sport, male mags and in most female personals (epecially amongst profesional women) there seems to be a very narrow cutting point of decency that demotes a wanted “superior height” to an “inferior small height” Those being 5’11” or above as superior and 5’8″ or below as the inferior. It is so shallow that a mere 3 inches! in skeleton length can bring into question a mans chances / fate or destiny when it comes to getting approval from women and ultimately his sense of well-being in the long term.
I thought I would add a comment here to see if it can gain in popularity over “too skinny”! I have to say some guys DO worry about height in women. I’m 6’0″ tall and funny enough it’s only the tall men who have an issue with my height. I’ve never had a guy who was shorter than me complain when I pulled out the heels. They always think my height is sexy where as the tall men have found it intimidating.
Pele — You’re one tall gal. How sexy! Men are so insecure, aren’ t they?
So far the guys in this post never send me angry emails. Because I’m on their side.
But it does give me another great idea. A dating service for matching up shorter guys with anorexic woman! I even already have the slogan for the commercial: One’s too small this way and the other’s too thin that way! Let’s get together and fall in love!”
I am currently 6’1” and am dating a guy that is 5’3”. I always thought that I could never date someone so much shorter than me until I met him. I still struggle with that however all I know is that when I am with him I enjoy being with him much more than any other men I have dated. I did not want to give it up just based on that. It is funny I did not intend to like this guys but before I knew it we had just kissed!!! I was hanging out with him soley because we got along as friends never expected to being attracted to him. It is ammussing to me and has challenged me to think about appearances in a different way. It has been a difficult thing for me so I am wondering if anyone else has another other examples of dating a shorter guy?
You know, being a relatively short and skinny man, this blog is beginning to give me a complex. I’ve taken to eating a lot more potatoes and doing stretching exercises.
For the sake of tossing in my own two cents, I’ve never felt I was in a position to be terribly choosey about height, weight and other factors. If I can be assured a woman isn’t a flight risk, that’s enough for me.
My only real concern is sleeping arrangements. If she’s a large woman, I worry she may be a flayer. You know, the sort of person who thrashes about, throwing arms and legs around as they sleep or, perhaps more risky, rolls from side to side. I don’t want to get crushed or otherwise broken while I sleep.
Women are just a bunch of fucking 2 faced shallow whores who think they have it all .. im only 5″7 and I couldnt give a flying fuck if a woman was the best looking in the world if she “lowered” her standards to be with me id fuck her off in a second, any woman would be lucky to have me, mnot the other way round and if they cant see that they can get fucked cos i dont want a girlfriend ever, they just screw u over and take half ur fucking shit and leave ui up teh arse and run off with some puncy prettyboy, women are scum, all of them, fuck em all to teh sewer
Man that Tatanya is a heightist bitch.
Heather, heightism is very much like racism, sexism or homophobia… much more than you are willing to admit.
In the 2nd world war the japanese were derisively referred to as the “little gooks.”
In the Vietnam war Vietnamese women were dubbed “little brown fucking machines.”
And most short high school males get bullied and abused today.
So you want the name of someone who was killed because of their height?? How about Mathew Shepard. Besides being gay he was 5’2″.
Had he been gay and tall, someone might have called him a name… but this doubtful. Bullies, as his assailants obviously were, are usually also cowardly.
Want another one? Terry Hartz. You’ve never heard of him but he was a friend of mine who stood about 5’2.”
One night he was walking down a back alley when two thugs came upon him and kicked the life out of him.
Heightism is a form of bigotry that has to stop.
I am 5’9″ or 5’10” in shoes and I’ve just recently started dating someone who is 5’4″. I am not a “height bigot” but I do struggle a little with the difference. I met him as a friend and after being read poetry in Greek and Latin I was completely swept away by him. We also share a wonderful bond with our humor.
My comment it, how does one erase the “height bigotry,” when it exists? I have dated other shorter men, but they were usually heavier and I could get over the height difference. This man is 90 pounds aswell as being 5’4″. However, I am the one that feels weird about being tall. Not about him being “short.” I feel overbearing and very “supermodelesk”.
I don’t know exactly where I stand with him. (no pun intended) I am not sure if a long-term relationship with a shorter man is psychologically healthy. Either I have to be the bigger person. (no pun intended) And forget about it. Or. I need to reevaluate why it is that I feel this way. My father was very very tall and towered over me as a child. However, my mother was very very short and I towered over her!
I guess if I look at my parents, they were married with almost a foot between them and were married for twenty years. However, for a woman in this society it has more of a stigma attached to it. But being the weirdo that I am, maybe I can psych myself into removing that stigma and have a relationship with a very intelligent and kindhearted college student who studies French and Greek and grant myself the chance to have a new experience with someone who is intellectually my superior, just not in height.
Hey Rachel,
Just suck it up. If you do love him, you won’t even think about the height thing after a while. If you break up with him because of what “others” think, then it will just be your loss.
But, I think that the odd feeling you get from being with a much shorter guy is simply the reflection of society on your psyche. Men who are much taller than their women don’t get that feeling (as far as I know), so I think it is just the signals that society has been giving to you from a young age.
Yeah Rachel,
If you let the world dictate your love life; you are seriously not in control of other things in your life as well. Your love life is YOURS, nobody else’s. Be proud of it and what it is to you! Not what others (probably nobody) might say…!
Best wishes……!
i dated a guy who was 3 inches shorter than me. i am 5’8″ … i didn’t like that fact that everything was SMALLER. i mean EVERYTHING. and i didn’t like looking DOWN. and when he hugged me his head landed in my boobs. at the time i wasn’t overweight either but i felt so amazonish compared to him.
I have to say one thing: hightism is as bad as racism/homophobia for the simple reason that it refers to the same double-standard practice applied to short people.
Cholo, 5’82
Amen, Cholo.
I love Mark Darcy,
What were you wearing, heels? How does someone 3 inches shorter end up 7 inches lower? I can’t imagine it. As well, in the men’s locker room EVERYTHING is not smaller on shorter guys. Take it from someone who works out everyday. There are tall guys with smaller penises and short guys that are absolutely hung. So stop perpetuating a myth, okay?
Thank you….!
Looks count a little to you know. It’s better to be 5-9 and handsome than 6-2 and freaking ugly.
it’s just down to the things men like versus the things women like. like someone said; some men dig fat chicks, some women dig short blokes or small packages or guys who dress up like cats at night. some men like to feed their fat chicks up so they get uber fat and they get dependency issues. some men like their women hairy, others like them to go through insane tortuous rituals to remove this.
always extremes and possibilities, but fundamentally, the men are meant to be the powerful ones, and the women the ones who get it. men big. women small, well at least thin anyways.
Ok I know I am late on commenting on this one but I must admit I have dated two guys shorter than me and each one of them felt a need to belittle me in some way to make them feel more like a man. It is not the height thats the issue its the personality that comes with it.. Think Napolean, Atillah the Hun, Hitler need I go on? Short men tend to have ferocious complexes. I prefer my man taller. Doesn’t mean I am not open though.
Tovah,
(I can’t believe I’m commenting on this)
You also have to keep in mind that some of that could be in your head. If a short man is assertive then you may think he has a complex about his height. But if a tall man acted the same way, you wouldn’t think anything of it.
Tovah,
Okay. Your post is wrong on so many levels. Or maybe it’s YOU that is wrong on so many levels. Here is the proof:
What if I said i dated two black girls in my life and that they were too “urban and unrefined” for me. In fact, I’m saying ALL black women are urban, unrefined and loud-mouthed and anyone considering taking one out for a date is asking for PUNISHMENT. What a lame, bigoted insulting statement right?
You made the same ignorant claim about short men and were able to do it in 30 words or less: this shows your deep-seeded hate for a group of people who really did nothing to offend you except take you out on a date. Here are your words:
“more of a man” i.e. they’re probably less one.
“belittle”
“Napoleon”
“Hitler”
HITLER???!?! Now I don’t know about your warped dating choices or the bad experiences you’ve brought upon yourself. My question is: why did you associate their height with a ferocious complex? This following quote is probably the most heightist I’ve seen in the board thus far:
“it’s not the height but the personality that comes WITH it”
My God, I guess all short people are megalomaniacs bent on overcoming their image problems; and tall(er) women are the victims of such a monstrosity!!
We’d better get a support group going for women here!! They’re the real victims, not the short men. They’re the aggressors! (Okay. That was silly and sarcastic. But my point is made).
My advice to you Tovah: GET A LIFE. A good life. One that doesn’t involve insulting a group of men (who are talented, well-meaning, intelligent and beautiful) in an hap-hazard manner.
You really should have substituted your mean words with the words I just used: talented, well-meaning, intelligent, beautiful (I sure as hell think that of black women or any woman for that matter) yet NO FEMALE on this board are willing to say that about the short men they know or are currently dating.
I am extremely disturbed about the lack of defence of short men on this board and I hope this page stays alive in order to display the heightist nature of most girls and their blatant resistance to open their eyes and change their minds. I guess to change your mind about someone is just too much work. (The sarcasm really ends here.)
Thank you.
I respect and care for all of you shorter men. I think these women who won’t date you are missing out on some great guys. But don’t you short guys ever read ANY of my other posts? Is your height all that you’re interested in? Maybe that’s the REAL reason the girls don’t want to date you — your own obession with your height. Forget about it already and maybe everyone else will, too. There are plenty of women to go around for everyone.
Bruno,
It was not meant to be taken so abruptly. I was not all that serious and as far as my statement I am not the only one who has experienced this. I have friends who have gone through. I have never felt that short men were less than a man that was their own perception. So before you go jumping all over me read between the lines, better yet ask. Damn
carl if a tall man were as “assertive” as those short men i would dump his ass to. Assertive is one thing ( i don’t have a problem with it) but belittling someone is another. Don’t get the two confused. Look Neil I am already causing controversy on your site.. Teehhee
PS Bruno, If you read to the end you would have seen that I said I am open to whatever..
Figures. It is always the black Jews causing all the problems.
And ladies, stop all this shit with the short guys. I’ve seen them in the locker room — short height does not = short where it really counts! So, do something for all of us this weekend — go out and shag someone shorter than you! You won’t regret it. (this is a public service announcement from Citizen of the Month)
Of course the black Jews are always causing problems. We are trying to infiltrate. hahaha. And how the hell did he know I was black.. Damn those links..
-Been there and done that Neil [shag a short guy that is]. it was great. That is why Bruno and Carl jumping all down my throat was nothing “short” of hilarious. at 5’7 1/2″ I always attract guys shorter than me. Yes I have had bad experiences with them but I have had bad experiences with a lot of guys. So bite me that I was bold enough to say what others were afraid to.
Tovah,
You are not a hero, so don’t try to pull that card. You are the one who compared short guys to Hitler.
Also…I’m not short.
Hey Neil,
I’m not obsessed with my height; only when I go on your site haha! I know you’re uncomfortable with the idea of the direction of this page and I know things should never be taken literally here of course (Thank you Tovah for your reply) but it’s a sad sad world when there are only a few forums about this topic… You’re a pioneer Neil, you’re helping raise awareness on a topic nobody seems to want to talk about and I thank you for that…
P.S. It’s the entire media stereotype that pisses me off; not “getting girls” I do fine in that department, it’s the mis/under/false representation that exists in print, movies and magazines that reviles me. What happens when my kids end up short and I have to explain to them how to act when they get older? I hope that this kind of discrimination disappears by then…
Ok, good point.
I am not comparing short men to hitler you putz. Hitler was short. Nevermind it. You will always demonize it. Nor am I trying to be a hero. Anyhow Bruno I never knew it was such an issue until the outrage on this blog. And I never apologize but I will now because you being touchy about your height is the same as me being touchy about being a black jew (they don’t exist you know). Good luck with it.
Tovah (you “putz”),
Hitler was NOT short. He was 173cm (about 5’8″) which was average height in Germany at the time. But it speaks to the issue of heightism that you so easily believed that Hitler was a short man, when even the most cursory bit of research would have disproved that hypothesis (i.e., going to Google and typing “Hitler height”).
http://www.celebheights.com/s/Adolf-Hitler-2572.html
Carl why are we still discussing this. It is done. The horse is DEAD…
huuummm…
I must have touched a nerve.
Some women are okay with a shorter man but many are not. I think this is because those women want to feel equal to the women that are with taller men already.
When I started to date my husband, my sister said to me, “why are with him, he’s short, I thought you only like to date tall men.” When my son was born, my sister said “I sure hope he takes after our side of the family with height.” Well I have to agree with her on both accounts. I am almost 5’7 and I love tall men. I love being able to reach up to them, rather than just around them. I also want my children to be tall too. But, my husband is is just slightly taller than me to make me feel comfortable with his height. And as for my son, if the doctors are right, then I think he will be around 5’10 or 5’11. That’s not too bad for a guy.
Also, I remember a few years ago on Dateline or Primetime, they did an experiment with women and short men. And even after the women knew that this one man was a millionaire, it still didn’t matter. At 5’4, he was still too short and not really attractive to them.
Jaime,
Thanks for your comments. I’m really interested in your sister’s attitude towards short men; especially those that are close to you. I have a few questions for you:
Didn’t you find her comments about your date (now your husband) slightly offensive…? What about those about your newborn son (wishing he wouldn’t end up smaller than average)?
I find it funny how no one realizes the obstacles short men face, even if they are related to these men. What happens if your son does become smaller than 5’5″? Not that I want that to happen but do you believe he would be treated differently in the world then? What do you think your son’s prospects in dating would be in this case? How would you help him feel confident?
In situations such as this it is obvious that heightism exists. On one hand people believe short men have no more problems that average people do; on the other they hope to Jesus they or anyone they know (husband, son etc) never becomes a short man.
This sort of bigotry has got to be flushed into the open and addressed; a refusal to deal with this problem only escalates the dehumanization of those close to and smaller than us.
I believe your sister meant well with her comments however. Family members tend not to censor themselves around each other. Mine included.
Actually guys, Napoleon was average height for his country and time period. Don’t believe everything you see in the movies.
This too funny…I’m 5’4, make 90k a year, was an intelligence officer in the Army and I’m married to a very pretty woman. I have dated taller women than me and one thing that have heard is that they like the way I carry myself. Maybe it has to do with the way people see themselves.
“Actually guys, Napoleon was average height for his country and time period. Don’t believe everything you see in the movies.”
That’s right. But the pop psychology idea of the napoleon syndrome remains. I’ve also heard it called a “short-man-syndrome”. Basically it just means that tall guys who are aggressive are leaders, and short guys who are aggressive have a “syndrome” in which they must be compensating for their stature.
“This too funny…I’m 5′4, make 90k a year, was an intelligence officer in the Army and I’m married to a very pretty woman….Maybe it has to do with the way people see themselves.”
That’s all true, no doubt. But are you saying that heightism doesn’t exists, or are you just saying that it can be overcome?
they are still posting my g-d neil. You are a controversy aren’t you?
I’ve never cared about the height of a man, of course I’m only 5’2. The guys have always been taller than me. My hub is 6ft, so there’s quite the difference there. I can’t imagine I would care if he was the same height as me.
Wow Neilochka, you just really pick the hot topics dontcha…
I dated short fellers almost exclusively in my 20s and found that i loved them every bit as much as any taller feller. In fact, I would say the short guys i dated were MORE secure than the tall dudes because they had to be ok with themselves, so they were more secure, more grounded and had 10 times the sense of humor and personality.
But now I am married to 6’1″ and I am 5’6″ and i like the tallness, but really, I’d still date a guy my height or within an inch…but the big differences in height, well, its not a prejudice thing so much as its a fit thing.
I agree with Jack here…
“…It is not the height thats the issue its the personality that comes with it.. Think Napolean, Atillah the Hun, Hitler need I go on? Short men tend to have ferocious complexes…”
Oh, and tall men DON’T?? LOL! Um, ever hear of Saddam Hussein? Idi Amin? Josef Stalin? Ivan the Terrible? “Need I go on…”
every one chill the fuck out. Im short and i have never had a problem with getting chicks. Its all about how you carry yourself. If your insecure about your height and worried about what other people think, than you are going to have bad lack. Most women find the very fact that a short man is comfortable with his height attractive.
I am still not sold on dating shorter men. Sometimes I think I am being selfish by not even giving some a chance. I am 6’3 and men taller than me a few a far between, and when they do come around they are usually dating some short girl, or just an ass. Most won’t even talk to me, I think they might be intimidated.
Anyways, there is a guy that I work with and he is 3 inches shorter than me, and I know he likes me, but he doesn’t know I know, so much drama, i know. We get along fantastically, flirting in our own way, usually bickering and teasing.
Is it that big of a deal for me to date someone shorter?
Kelly — If you’re 6’3″, you’re pretty much cutting out 99% of the men out there if you don’t date someone shorter than you. It sounds like you have a great relationship going with this office guy. Why let three inches get in the way? In a few months, you won’t even notice it anymore as you’ll just be gazing into his eyes.
Oh Kelly date him!! I have dated men of all heights and to be honest could not care less if I am taller or if they are…come on, if you like him…who the hell cares about his height!!
Kelly, take Sara Lee’s advice! You can trust her. She’s as picky as they come.
“Oh, and tall men DON’T?? LOL! Um, ever hear of Saddam Hussein? Idi Amin? Josef Stalin? Ivan the Terrible?”
Mark:
Don’t forget Bin Laden (6’5″)
Kelly said: “I am 6′3 and men taller than me a few a far between.. Most won’t even talk to me, I think they might be intimidated.”
I’m a 6’4″ guy and when I meet women who are near my height they are typically so self-conscious of their height that they
put off these really negative vibes which sends a message of “don’t approach”. Also , many tall women assume that because I’m tall that I will automatically want to be with a tall woman. I don’t know where that assumptin came from but most tall women make that one. I like womne of all heights so I don’t know what it is tall woman expect me to immediately dump the woman I’m dating to be with them.
Treeptop, it is not that we expect any tall man to dumb whom ever they are dating, I know i am just jealous that they got someone tall. I know I am not self-concious of my height, i hardly ever think twice about it, i love being tall, it is the other people that make comments that points out that I am different and that is what puts me off and makes me feel different. The starring, the basketball questions, if i am standing behind a counter they ask if i am standing on something, getting weird looks when i wear heels. i’d be lieing if i said it didn’t bother me. People just make a big deal about it, its not like I walk around asking how short people are, starring and assume they all are gymnists. i just want to say, there is more to me, to us, than just height and it kind of makes me sad that no one seems to notice that.
I’m 5’0 male, so I know how hard it is to get a date off internet dating sites. Then I think again, maybe online personals should be avoided for short males. We all should go out more often to social events where physical stats wont mean as much as what we do best. Oh yeah, about fat women vs short men bias. Fat women can reduce their size, short men can’t increase their height. Disqualifying short men out is akin of disqualifying disabled (either physically and mentally challenged). The same condition also applies to financially challenged. Is it horrible? Yes. Do we all do it, yes. So we just have to bite the bullet and move on. Shit happens. Deal with it. Oh yeah, another way: find chicks out of USA. Vaginas also exist in other countries.
Hello, Nice comments here. I’m Dave 5’3″, well maybe closer to 5’4″. Here is my spin on the issue..True women will prefer taller men as compared to a lil squirt like me, but thats fine. I think its not the women’s true choice she is making but something influenced much more by society and how women are EXPECTED to marry a big strong man..so you really can’t blame them for that. As for my own likes and experiences, I like all women, whether chubby or skinny or shorty or tall. However, I especially like the feel of a real Tall women, thats not too skinny..they just feel better and provide a much smoother ride (devilish grin). Now I know this from experience..and boy what experinces I had.Let me explain this. I have been with well over 400 ladies..not just for coffee I mean, and not dating, but for the majority just for sex..yep S.E.X.(shhhh….). These of course were for the most part escorts or working girls of the highest calibre..not the street skanks I might add..The best times I had were with the really tall girls..good times because they were the ones most affectionate and most turned on by me. I always felt like they really enjoyed themselves the most with me, and preferred me to some tall, overweight stinky dude. I’m tiny, clean, shaved, romantic, funny, loveable and very sweet.Most girls say I’m very much on the cute side. One girl said I looked like a sweet little bunny (still trying to figure out if that is good or bad …lol). I do have girls interested in dating me, I know it because some have actually asked be out..and such. Problem is I am having so much fun with many things and too busy to be doing any long term dating stuff. So, the short guys should not worry about what the ladies say about what they prefer..picking a mate has nothing to do with a thinking brain, its all some kind of preprogrammed biological thing (sorry..there is a word for it, but forgot it now). Once she sees you as an individual, you’ll be well on your way to some romance..I think..And finally a question for all Ladies. Can your malefriend do the bouncy bounce..?
dave, 5’3″, but actually closer to 5’4″
Dave,
Those women are being paid to make you THINK that they “enjoyed themselves”. Having sex with prostitutes is nothing to brag about, buddy.
Hi all,
I am a woman of average height (5’7″) who PREFERS to date guys who are around my height or shorter than I am. I’ve never been attracted to tall guys, 5’10” or so is my cutoff. Most of the really sexy guys I’ve been with were shorter. Of course I have a weakness for Italians…
You know, it’s funny. I always day dream about my perfect guy being maybe 5’9 or so (I’m 5’8″) but all the guys I’ve ever liked were: 5’4″, 5’2″, 5’5″, 5’7″…it’s like I can’t be attracted to men taller than me! 75% of the guys who ask me out are taller than me but I refuse to go out with them because they’re not my type…short people seem to be sweeter…it’s odd.
im 5”8” and women dig me. I was born with a fairly good lookin head. I disagree about this height topic. Ive got mates who over 6 foot and dont get nowhere near as many women as me and my best mate who is 5″9″. However, most women average a height of 5″5″. I personally dont tend to go for taller women than myself. Theres no such thing as short only if your a dwarf. People who are over 6 foot call me short. People who are over 5 foot call me good in height. I dont think im short anyway. Although i do strongly believe a man has to be at least an inch or 2 taller than the woman. So for 5″5 guy would be better off with a 5 – 5″4 woman.
IN OTHER WORDS, THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE FOR EVERYONE. ONLY WOMEN WHO ARE ACTUALLY TALL CALL MEN SHORT. THANKYOU AND GOODNITE.
PETIT CHIX FOR LIFE BTW
One woman I work with is 5 foot 2, and her current boyfriend is 6 foot 2.
She said that ONCE she dated a guy who was 5 foot 9. She said he was handsome, funny, and had a great personality. But – she dumped him because he was too short.
That would be okay if she was unusual, but I have found that most women act in exactly the same way. If a woman’s boyfriend is under six feet tall, then she will inevitably dump him for a six footer.
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I read this statement with some humor. Short girls like her will grow older and get fat and then end up looking like bowling balls. I recently looked at the online dating for women between 45-55 and I was appalled how some of these women who have “extra padding” as they like to call it, were still demanding men 6′ and above. I wanted to laugh my ass off because these some of these women are now fat hogs and certaintly don’t have much room to be picky. Apparently they’re still living their youth thinking guys will flock to their profile.
Incidently, only 13% of the population is 6′ and over so these idiot women have elminated 87% of the male population. Think how many Doctors, surgeons, lawyers, and successful business men they’ve eliminated because of one physical trait.
Please don’t tell me men are shallow. It’s obvious women are more shallow then men when it comes to physical appearance.
Dugan is right,
There are lots of women who are over the hill but think that they will only date 6’0″ guys. They don’t understand that they make up only 13% of the population.
Also, have you noticed that all short women say that they usually only date men who are 6’0″ or taller? I think they don’t really understand height at all. There aren’t that many tall guys in existance, so I think they are really dating guys who are 5’10 or so…and then they THINK those guys are 6’0″ tall.
But yes…women are more shallow than men. Men are flexable about anything. Women are flexable about most things…except height. I can’t think of one physical characteristic that would eliminate women from consideration. Not even weight. I see fat women with thinner men all the time. But it’s rare to see a couple where the woman is taller than the man.
first off i wanna say any guy who’s 5’8” or more doesn’t have any say in this…we have to remember that it’s not just short or tall…there’s average too and girls are ok with average…anyway..with that said..
I’m 5’6” and i have been “the short guy” all my life…here’s the thing with being a short male as i see it..first of all it’s not comparable to weight for women…i believe someone already mentioned this but weight can be treated…even if it is to some degree….no..not everyone is qualified for a liposuction…but the physics of it is that weight burns off…height doesn’t increase…at least we don’t have the technology yet…and someone mentioned limb surgery…not practical…those are usually reconstructive surgeries for people in accidents or people who are born with one leg shorter than the other or those who suffer from dwarfism…very risky and costly surgery with high risks of side effects…short guys…stop whining and thank whomever and whatever put you here that you are healthy and not disabled…a guy who’s 5’0” tall isn’t disabled…in reality there really isn’t much a 6’5” guy can do that a 5’0” guy can’t…other than a few things…sure a 5’0” could never be a pro basketball player…but again the 6’5” guy could never be an astronaut (they have to be 5’9” or less)…try to look at the positive…honestly life is way to short to waste over bullshit like this…there are people with REAL physical problems that restricts them from many activities that we take for granted and don’t even think about…like walking for example!
As for women who do or don’t go out with us because of our height…that’s their decision and it is none of our business…after all who the hell am I to judge?…i would never go out with an overweight chick…or a girl with a big nose or ugly smile….so I can’t judge….the one problem I guess that short guys have is that there really isn’t much you can do with height…the teeth you can fix…the nose you can fix…the weight can be helped…but height is pretty much set…but with that being the case…WHO CARES?!…there is so much more to life….some people just look for reasons to obsess over…girls with their weight and looks and guys with their height and dick size…people…I’m not saying those AREN’T factors…but life certainly goes on and goes on well regardless of what those are…as I see it for some men AND women in here the only thing that needs to be fixed is their mind set….Humans are not really physically exceptional living things…there are many animals that are bigger, faster, stronger, and so forth than us…what sets us apart is our mind…lets improve that…please…I know that some women judge me based on my height…but I judge them based on their looks…so what?…it goes back and forth….same with personality….people judge you on your personality too…and believe me…changing your personality isn’t easy or always possible…just because it’s possible to some degree in theory, doesn’t mean it is…basically I’m trying to say everyone judges and no one is completely free of this “sin of judgingâ€â€¦and as for jobs….again…some employers care…some don’t….i’m the shortest of all my friends but I have the best and highest paying job…
And as for the complex…again…who cares what people “title†your assertive attitude….let them call you napoleon…no skin of your back…the fact is most of those people couldn’t be assertive on the simplest subjects if their life depended on it…look at your shortness as a reason to strive and better yourself…cause who wants to be average anyway?…being average is boring…
Anywho I wrote too much…go out there and get em tigers! hahaha
Cheers!
Hmm… Interesting comments, all around.
As a member of the oompa loompa club for men (5’5″), I must admit to being somewhat inconvenienced by most women’s preference for tall men. Still, I can respect that women have certain preferences in the romantic department. That’s perfectly natural.
That said… I would give some free advice to the younger female readers: marry soon and marry well. Mother Nature has a sense of irony after all. As it turns out, men also have certain dating preferences. Generally, we prefer to date youthful women who don’t have kids from a previous marriage. Yes, I know there are some exceptions, but they are just that, exceptions. So… to single ageing women in their forties onward, I will pass along the advice I was given as a young man: quit whining and just deal with it. Life is what it is. If we short guys have to deal with preferences for our entire lives, then women (some of you, anyway) can do the same for the last half of yours. So, what’s sauce for the gander… or something like that. Anyway, that’s my rant for the day…Nuff Said.
Women are crap, but for your Mom and the one’s that you and you alone truly care about, i.e., not all of them.
There are so many advantages to living a clean, straight, HEALTHY life, WITHOUT women.
height really shouldn’t be such an issue. if you’re a short guy, look for some one who doesn’t care what your height is. it’s that simple. sure, finding that some can be difficult, but guess what? finding that “someone” isn’t easy for anyone. first step is to get over you insecurity (sp). girls like confidence, and if you are, then you shouldn’t give two shits about a girl blowing you off b/c you’re too short. get over it, and stop bitching…
I’m 48 years old and I stand 5’9″ and until the inception of the internet, I never realized heightism even existed or I was considered by some to be short. Reality slapped me in the face one day when I was perusing through the personal ads and noticed how many women insisted their match be 5’10” or taller. It floored me. I never gave it much thought but then it gave me an opportunity to reflect and realize heightism really is a national phenomenon. I looked at our current management of my company and noticed the majority are white males 5’10” and above. I looked at the hand-picked CEO and he stands at least 6’2″. Then I remember some of the rude comments I received from a select few women (very select). I remember one calling me “little man” in a derogatory way years ago. I remember a fellow short lady (and a bit overweight too I may add) bubbling about here husband because he was tall and over 6′. She didn’t want to date any short men a made this a point in her conversation. It’s was almost like he was some prize trophy even though he was a hick working on the production line. Apparently tall was more important than dark, handsome and definitely intelligent and sucessful.
What’s weird is, when I go to reunions, ball games, or other social events, I’m definetly not the shortest person and blend in quite well so I’m not sure what the deal is with women and height.
Realizing that men 6′ and above comprise only 14% of the population (with the majority being young blokes I may add), they’re all sure fighting over a small fraction of the population. I have a married friend who stands 6’2″ and he peruses the personnal ads just to score a quick lay so he can put a notch on his belt. I wonder how many other tall guys play the ads the same way knowing they’re in demand over shorter men who probably would be 100% committed to their women. I guess image is more important than anything else and getting used is part of the game.
I hope when my son gets older, heightism will be addressed like racism, sexism and other discrimination. As of today, it’s getting some air time but all in all, it’s being ignored. It won’t change until more States ratify the equal rights amendment to include looks and height.
hi everyone i just happened to come across this forum n found it interesting,i m just 5.6 n till i joined med school life was good,this concept of heightism never existed in my mind,buut ever since med school started interaction with the opposite sex became hellish,they would pass comments hitting at my height n linking statements i was less capable than a taller guy in achieving anything let alone a date,from then on i have noticed that the taller guys were the first ones to get hitched n till now the shorter dudes r still out there tryin to make a friend who wont put them down because of their height,i have no qualms if a gal doesnt ‘prefer’ a shorter guy,to each her own lol,but answer me folks ,if a fat person can atleast have an option of wight loss what option does a short guy have?surely inncreasing the tibial length is not the fix,and when girls state they like taller guys so they get to wear heels(as statedt in cosmopolitan) it sounds hurtful that a potentially pleasant group of men only just shorter r ruled out coz of a par of heels.
Michael – Our culture and the society we live in started the stigma that “tall is better” even though it has no bearing on one’s competence, intelligents or personality. It’s very frustrating when you have so much to offer but you get passed up because your a few inches closer to the ground.
BTW – Trust me – Stay away from the ditzy girls who give stupid responses to your height such as “so I can wear heels” or “it makes me feel protected”. These are insecure women with superficial criteria for dating.
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Worth commenting – Look at the breakdown of how many 40 something women who are seeking a tall man in online dating. Practically all. Again, they’re all fighting over the slim 14% of the population. Let’s breakdown the 14% and see how slim it gets:
a. How many of the 14% are even in the 40 year age group? (not many as they’ve began to shrink while the younger generation is getting taller)
a. How many 40 something men are married and not available? (many)
b. How many 40 something men are married, knowing they are in demand, so they play around on the side and lying about being married? (many I’m sure)
c. How many of the 40 something men ignore those 40 something women because they’re seeking a younger 20 something hour glass babe who don’t have saggy boobs, big hips, and a big butt. (many many)
Sure makes the pickings slim doesn’t it?
bloody hell i’m 5’7 and my girlfriend is 5’4, seems fair to me. I see some kids that look 11 and are already like 6 foot 3, now thats messed up.
Wow, this is funny stuff. I am 5″3, I like dating girls that are similar in height. I don’t have to much of a problem meeting women.
im a 5’4 girl and my boyfriend is 5’8 and i think that 5’6-5’8 are fine heights for men. Not every man has to be 6’1 you know
My concern is not with the dating scene, both men and women have the right to choose who they want to be with. I’m disturbed with the treatment of “short” men in the work force. Consider the article “Why We Love Tall Men?” You’ll find it at: http://www.gladwell.com/blink/blink_excerpt2.html
As a less tall fellow, I took direct action to mitigate my height deficit. With 4″ heels, I am 5’10”, and that is tall enough.
I have friends who are about 5’5 and insist that their ‘ideal’ man has to be at least 4 inches taller. I think this is the most stupid idea, especially as I am a 6’1 girl and if I had the same narrow-minded concept I might never go out with anyone! Instead I am going out with a great 5’11 guy 🙂 Don’t forget that height (and looks) change over time and that the quality that will last the longest is personality. The only thing I mind about my height is that some people seem to be intimidated by tall girls – tallness doesn’t equal scariness! People who make jokes about me towering above people are just annoying – there is nothing I (or most people) can do about height – we all just have to live with it!
I agree with Douglas. The dating thing is not very important. The general heightism in society (the idea that short people [men especially] are inferior to taller people) is more important. The dating thing is mostly just a reflection of the greater problem.
I’m 5’1″, 25 years old and have never had a girlfriend. My friends consider me to be kind, funny, and on the level. I always suspected the problem was because of my height, but the friends who know me well (they obviously don’t care what i look like) seem to be in denial of the reason. They say stuff like oh you just need to keep meeting more and more women. I do meet women. I just don’t know why I only end up as a friend despite my qualities. Is it the height thing?
Drew, you’re probably correct to assume it’s your height that is handicapping you from meeting a girlfriend. I am 5’3 and always had difficulty meeting girls, but at some point you have to just be yourself and let things be. Anyhow, I’m currently with a gorgeous brunette (and I mean the whole package) and could not be more happy that all the other women turned me down. I’m a lucky guy.
Hi everyone, I’ve enjoyed reading these comments so much! I specifically went looking on Google for this topic (“dating shorter men” was my key phrase), because I’ve found myself in this situation and wanted to bolster my resolve to continue despite my “heightist” misgivings. I am 5’7″ and am in the process of divorcing the world’s biggest prick, who is 6’4″. I’ve recently started seeing a man who is at least 4 inches shorter than myself, I haven’t asked his height yet. He’s also 8 years younger than me, BTW! 🙂 I also have to say I outweigh him too. We’d been friends for a few years, and our romance started one night when (well-plied with alcohol) we ended up in bed together. Oh my God, what he lacked in vertical height was more than made up for in other ways, let me tell you! LOL. Since then we’ve been continuing to see each other, things are progressing nicely, and I’m totally infatuated with him. I’ve actually started buying flat shoes instead of my heels like normal, but I know it doesn’t matter to him if I’m a few inches taller than my natural height, because he seems to be completely ok with me anyway. He’s very self-confident, has a wonderful personality with none of the “Napoleon complex”, and makes me feel like a princess. But I still have pangs of prejudice, and want to overcome them, because after my disastrous relationship with my very tall husband I’m not going to screw things up with an awesome man who cares for me just because he’s short. I also have to mention he’s got the body of a (tiny) Greek god, having been a gymnast… Oooh baby, you ladies who won’t consider a man due to his height should get over yourselves, like I’m trying to. You won’t ever know what you’re missing, maybe the man of your dreams!
Jess
All of your comments are very interesting. I am one of the pickiest people out of all my friends. I also feel I’m one of the few who have not settled down…for reasons need not to be discussed, but I recently met a guy through a friend who is short, 5’5, and I’m 5’1 and it’s been hard for me. I think you guys are right…it’s society and what people think…and personally I think it sucks! I haven’t known this guy for too long, but he is one of the nicest, most giving, most personable people I’ve been out with yet, and I’ve decided to say fuck society and what people think and go for what really matters. The key is to keep an open mind. When push comes to shove, relationships don’t last b/c of height, they last b/c of love, friendship, values, trust, loyalty, dependability etc.If you don’t have that you, then you don’t have anything.
Babs
Babs…
People won’t “think” anything about a 5’1″ woman with a 5’5″ guy. I didn’t even think anyone would see that as an issue at all. I understand what Jessica is saying if she’s 5’7″ and he is 5’3″. But even that can be overcome.
Do you really associate yourself with people who think that a 5’5″ guy is so inferior that he should not date a 5’1″ woman?
If so…think about getting some new friends.
I need your opinions please:
I’m 5’4 and my partner is the same height. Without blowing my own trumpet, I am an ex-beauty queen and so I am not exactly short of offers, so why am I settling for Mr Right Now and not taking the risk of waiting for Mr Right? My partner has a “teenage” appearance with a slim torso, shags like a teenager, hardly makes me cum, and he earns a helluva lot, but before you call me a gold-digger, I am actually seriously considering ending our relationship, money has never been an issue with me. I have my own multiple skills to keep me fruitful!
I was a single mum for over 10 yrs before I met my partner and am very independent. My teenage boys are bigger than my partner and I am finding everything hard to deal with. My partner says I am his “dream woman” but unfortunately, I do not feel the same way about him. I DO love & care for him, but I feel as though I am cheating myself by settling for 2nd best. Yes, I am with him because I have found someone who loves me for me, warts and all, and not for my looks. I have a short fuse and go from one extreme to another, yet he still loves me, even when I can’t be bothered to wax my armpits or legs! People in my social circle never see the real me, the little girl behind the glamorous dresses and power heels! They don’t see me at home playing mum to my boys, wearing casual clothes and glasses! So why do I feel bad for the way I feel? Finding someone who would do anything for the inner me? It’s obvious to all that he is obsessed with me and has confused fantasy with reality. Via email and SMS, we fight, we flirt, yet our relationship is completely different when we are together. Ok, so we fight and flirt in the flesh too, but it’s as if we are 2 different people.
He is Napoleonic (short man with big ears, money and power) and although I have a high IQ, he always puts me down and calls me “stupidâ€. He hates to be wrong and hates when I’m (always) right! He says he loves the fact that I am a strong woman (emotionally) but I know it makes him feel inferior, hence the verbal attacks. I am no better, I serve up S&M via SMS quite a lot and I know I have damaged his ego on many occasions (when I tell him he can’t satisfy me in bed)! Verbal torture is my retaliation and defense, yet he still knows how to weaken me (with the “I love you’s†) and comes back tome for more torture. A glutton for punishment he so is!
I personally think he tried the “forbidden fruit” in the beginning with me (we met online and he fell for my photo) and then he fell in love too easily, with the fantasy. I really don’t think he is mentally mature for me. We are both the same age, but I have many life experiences which have aged me mentally, whereas he the complete opposite, very young in the mind.
I have been thro marriage & divorce at a young age, losing someone to suicide, raising a special needs child, have struggled financially and I’ve been mixed up in all sorts of dramatic events best left for a tv film! He, on the other hand, has a baby (an “accidentâ€) with another woman whom he claims to have never loved, and is only just starting out on the emotional rollercoaster of real life. He has worked hard to get where he is today (careerwise) and his attitude and ideals have been shaped by such a competitive career.
I will finish this posting later on.
Thanks for reading
Elizabeth
It’s sounds like you’ve already made your decision…I would kick him to the curb and move on. You certainly have enough on your plate, without him it sounds like you’re life would be a lot less complicated.
Thank Barbara
You don’t know how much that means to me to read that! So many people say that to me!
x
I like tall women.
I like medium women.
I like short women.
I don’t care much about the height of a women, as long it is not an extreme case.
Im 171 cm and a guy.
I love this..very interesting. One good thing about being a short guy, is that I can go to the gym and get much better results then the taller guy. I guess if I can’t grow taller, I can grow more wider (does that makse sense)?
Im dating a girl that is 6’5 and Im 5’7. We have no problems and care less what society has to say about us. Afterall we are not together to make society happy we are together because we make each other happy.
im 18 5’7, get girls no problem. but a scary thing to see is when you see a 14 year old boy who is 5’10, im like WTF he’s big for a kid lol.
Yeah, Lee, many kids are taller then me 🙂
its strange though, when i go to my supermarket for example I feel normal size, i’m even taller than a couple of guys or the same, BUT when I go into town or something , I see 13 year old kids at LEAST 6′ and feel very tiny indeed! a few people say i slouch when i walk but its just my posture, i haev tried walking upright to feel taller but it just seems there is no point in killing myself over it.
Ooooh, Neil, I didn’t “know” you back when you wrote this last year, so now I am commenting… uh, a year later. Hi!
I LOVE short men, as long as they are either my height or taller and besides, it’s hard to find a man much shorter than me anyway, I’m barely 5′ 4″ tall.
Short men are way underrated. I’m seeing someone right now who is maybe an inch or two taller than me, and I love that he’s at eye level with me and we fit nicely together on the sofa and when he hugs me it’s perfect.
I don’t understand the girl hang-up on height in men, but then again, I don’t understand the male hang-up with women who aren’t skinny, either. Everybody with their hang ups! Can’t we all just go to therapy together??? You know. Or get drunk? Crunked? What is crunked, anyway?
Laurie, guys like girls of all shapes and sizes. Generally speaking, the more money the guy makes, the hotter the girl he can get. If a guy doesn’t make a lot, he will settle for what he can get.
This is really a great discussion. I have a number of comments:
There is a difference between what women SAY they prefer and who they ARE nevertheless attracted to. It IS really a societal, or cultural, phenomenom which tells women they should go for a tall man, since other cultures do not perpetuate the fairy tale myths as ours do and do not make this such an issue.
People naturally appear to be attracted to one another regardless of height, race, or ethnicity. Look at other people’s, or even your own, non-verbal reactions, like pupil dilation, when you see or start talking with someone whom you feel attraction towards while trying to forget if they do not fit into your previous ideal type to test this theory.
There is no doubt that “heightism” exists and short men consistently battle negative comments and reactions. Witness this own thread with people automatically assuming a short man who belittles another is displaying a Napoleon Complex. There could be many other reasons why someone would belittle another beyond his own height. The whole idea of the Napoleon Complex has been corrupted by our society. Originally, it was Alfred Adler who talked about the Inferiority Complex, which occurs in everyone of us. The way to overcome this is to do something helpful for society. Those who just look out for themselves or commit crimes do just the opposite. Adler was talking about Napoleon’s war campaign as a crime.
I am 5’1″ and have faced difficulties dating but have worked to get over that crappy feeling of rejection and gain confidence. In fact, I have a weakness for tall women. I will approach the tallest women in a crowd and have dated women as tall as 6′. What I notice is women look at my face and especially in my eyes looking for that connection. In their hearts, women really know height is not as important as that connection–how the guy is able to make the woman feel good about who she is. I’ve encountered plenty of women who either don’t care or specifically like short men. Some of those have been 5’8″ blondes who have done modelling.
When women cannot get beyond the guy being short, it stems from their uncomfortability with their femininity. They try to fool themselves that being with a bigger guy will reduce this insecurity but ultimately these girls have to work on themselves. Personally, I won’t waste my time with a girl who is too uncomfortable with her femininity.
For the tall girls who are secure, put on whatever shoes you feel comfortable in when you’re with me. Then again, I know you would anyway.
this is upsetting to me….. im 5’6 and i hate being short, but what can i do about it….(nothing) i was walking around the mall yesterday with two girls who were around 5’10…. i was really embarrassed but they didnt seem to care si it helped a lil…. im not ur regular guy i have blonde hair, blue eyes and im short.. the only thing i have going 4 me is im a lil muscular.. so if any ladies r out there between the ages of 18-23 and live in mississippi that want to meet a nice but short 18 year old guy email me at g-ray2006@hotmail.com… i may be short but that doesnt meen shit!!
I’ve noticed recently that Hollywood may be in part to blame for exacerbating the problem. Why does a short actor’s height have to be cleverly hidden by the camera? Just show the actor in all his short glory if he’s short! The only short guys are like George Costanza – losers. I noticed on Friends that all of the males are taller than the women (I guess except for Phoebe, who’s a bit taller). Ross is supposed to play a kinda “dork”; what makes it believable that he could get a hottie like Rachel is that he is at least tall. A short guy, even if not a dork, would seem unbelievable getting a hot girl. Hollywood should not buy into this thing, but it does.
I am a 5.6 and hate being short esp in a crowd when you are aware everyone is taller. I think looks can offset height though. I have always tossed around in my head if i would swap being 5.6 athletic and attractive for 5.9 and ugly or 6.2 and ugly for 5.10 and average. This would apply for intelligence too. I have to say 5.6 and having a good face would still be my choice over that. Although height is often an in your face initial factor these other factors often have as much if not more bearings on attraction in general. SO just concentrate on the positives cause there are alot worse guys off out there including taller ones.
I came across this site looking for an answer…dating and the short guy (I am 5.2), bald and foreign…but definately ont ugly. I am well educated and earn well.
Most women in this blog have tried to say well they are ok with a short guy and so on and so forth…but is that true in real life?….I have considered to stop asking women out because…they dont even bother to express interest…”I am so sorry…I have a BF” ….thats the answer!
but somewhere..in this world there is someone just for me…that is hope enough…
BTW: about the tall guys being big down there….I am well above the national avg of 6 inches..so ladies…there is no corelation.
I’m 5.6″ tall and my short stature had always been an impediment for achieving poise and self-confidence. It was about two years ago that I met my wife and we almost instantly made connection. She is about half an inch shorter than me but I would always feel a little uneasy whenever she wore sandals. This would make her look much taller than myself. Not that anything wrong with that but society collectively feeds us with some stereotypes and a guy shorter than a woman would always raise eyebrows. My wife (who back then was my girlfriend) was conscious of myself being a little uneasy. She started coaching me on improving my dress coordination and also suggested that I should try wearing those walktall shoes. Doing a little research myself I gathered some info on stretching exercises. Although its true that exercises will not make you grow taller but it definitely helped me improve my posture. We certainly have more height hidden behind our slouched back and shabby dressing than we ever realize. There are some very basic stretching exercises and vertical fashion techniques that together can make a noticeable improvement in your height. And lastly it’s all a matter of perception. It all boils down to how we perceive ourselves. A better height can add to our confidence, but again, it’s our mind that perhaps makes us insecure. Some short dudes possess endless energy that makes their presence much taller than their height. You can follow the link below to get more info on posture exercises and some basic visual height enhancement techniques:
http://www.walktallshoes.com/grow-taller.html
Good luck
I am short . 4’11” and I also tend to prefer at least an avg. height man (ie 5’9″)but that is for the purpose of future childbearing. My concern is life is harder for shorter people sometimes.
But, ultimately it is more to do with a person’s energy and presence and how one projects themselves. Pierre Trudeau, former prime minister of Canada was very short, but never appeared or came across that way in photos, tv or in person. He even dated Barbra Streisand for a time.
I think one needs to raise their boys to have the sense of confidence that naturally allows them to project themeselves in such a way that their height isn’t even noticed.
It is more important to find a compatible person, and if I did go for a shorter man it would be one without a height complex and one who projects himself in such away that he has the same social status as taller men.
Tom Cruise is another example of one who doesn’t seem short but in fact is. Again presence and engery…
John, those shoes that make a man taller, are false advertising. I just wear creepers. 🙂
I don’t see many people talking about the biological factor here that makes women instinctively go after a guy that’s taller, ESPECIALLY if they are a short girl. People keep talking about SOCIETY, what society? This is WORLDWIDE, in every continent. ASK ANYONE. So obviously it is something stemmed from biological reasons, and nature is VERY hard to get over.
Even if it’s just dating or sex, women are programmed to constantly view men as genes for their potential children. They are thinking about their potential offspring when they look at men and if they are short they will need a taller guy to have taller kids, if they are 6ft then maybe not so much (this is why so many women end up with jerks and men who don’t even want to marry them and still have kids). THAT’S NOT SELFISH AT ALL! I think I’m beautiful so at least there’s that, but not everyone is a model so maybe they’d rather date a taller ugly guy because at least their kids will be tall. This is probably why you see beautiful women/models with shorter guys. This short thing might be deep within our subconscious mind, but still there, and the deeper it is the more effect it has on our dating choices because one has to be concious of something to fix it. Women all over the world would have to be conscious enough for there to be any type of societal change.
I’m not against dating short men, but the kids thing is the first thing that comes to my mind. I’m obviously with this guy because I like him a lot and we’re compatible which equals a big chance for a future and that equals babies. So thats why the choice needs to be made right away for some women-hurting the guy in the long run because of this instinct of ours or breaking it off before it starts. Or the high but much harder less taken road, breaking instinct and letting love and compassion rule over nature.
The average male height in the USA is about 5’9.5″ but for Caucasians (European) males it is closer to 5’10”. Heightism does exist as a sexual choice for women – sexual choice is in many ways a primitive instinct. Although in today’s world, education and financial success are much more important indicators of evolutionary success, the primitive female mind still harkens back to the caveman days. It is actually interesting to look at ads on match.com by city. Usually, only about 15-20% of women will date a guy 5’5″ or less and the average cutoff height is about 5’8″ – the height limit indicated by 50% or more women.The funny thing is it varies by city – LA is the worst with a cutoff of 5’10” and Philly is the best (least discriminatory) with a height of 5’7″.
i have heared all of you people fighting and stuff but not all women hate short men i am olny about 5 ft 4 to about 5 ft 5 yes it is stupid when a girl makes hight an issue but dont buy into the no girl likes short men thang because lots of women love short men about the same as how many girls like tall guys i heard that about 2/4 or just a little more would date a guy shorter then her self ok there is about 6 billion people on this earth and cuting that in have would leave about 3 billion women on this earth 2/4 of 3 billion is about 1.5 billion women who would date a guy short then her by about 2 to 3 inches some women love short guys and some hate them just like some guys love tall girls and some hate them dont worry i some times fell bad and unwanted but everyone is differnt and there was this one girl in my school who was like 5 ft 8 verry verry cute and she had the biggest crush on me and some of her friends though i would be a good boyfriend and some told her why do you like that runt and i felt bad when they said that because i though she would buy into that and not like the short guys but she did not so that was good everyone is differnt and my sister likes short guys but she is like 4 ft 8 she is really short and she is dateing a 6 ft 2 guy but she is not dateing him because his hight he is a very nice guy my sister dated a guy one and he was like 4 ft 5 really short so just hang in there and dont think every gilr likes a tall guy
Short guys, hang tough! There’s plenty of girls out there who are okay with your height, and some of them who will like you more of it.
I’m only 5’3″, so when I read guys on here whining about being short when they’re 5’7″-5’8″, it doesn’t really elicit much sympathy. I’ll admit highschool was a little rough, but since then (I’m 33 now) I’ve pretty much always managed to find girls who found me attractive. I found all my girlfriends to be extremely pretty, never felt like I settled, and almost all of them were my height or taller. Most were average height for girls, but I’ve gone as tall as 5’10” and the girl I like now is probably about 5’11”. (Actually I better get done with this post, as I’m about to make her dinner.)
Yeah, I agree with what everyone is saying about some girls preferring tall men. But it’s not really worth getting mad at them about it. It doesn’t really matter whether it’s biological or cultural (and probably it’s a bit of both). What matters is what you do with what you’ve got.
Many girls are attracted to guys with a nice face, intelligence and education, a sense of humor, CONFIDENCE, and in good shape or athletic. Most of these things are well within your control, where your height really isn’t. So work on what you can and don’t worry about the rest.
By the way, I’m not disputing that heightism is very real. I’m more concerned about it as a socio-economic effect than its relation to dating though. In matters of the heart, all the well thought out arguments will never sway anyone. You like someone because you like them. It’s fun to analyze why sometimes, but ultimately, I think what turns us on is a lot more primordial than cognitive. (I believe this is true, even when it’s smart people turn you on! A nice conversation is a good warmup, but the real chemistry happens in the bedroom.)
Okay peace out people. Thanks for the entertaining read.
I’ve got to say that after reading this entire discussion I’m a little surprised by people on both sides. As a 5’2 guy who is both blind and diabetic, I certainly could have lots of reasons not to have dated or not to have dated very much. Though I’ve not been able to meet Wilt Chamberlain’s record, I’ve done well enough and almost universally with women who were 5’8 or taller.
Some have gone out with me because they liked my education, some because they liked my attitude, some because I was “nice” but most because I didn’t make a big deal about their height–other than to give them good, logical reasons why I feel more comfortable with them than I tend to with a shorter girl. I’ve dated on the internet and though it is a tough in some sense, I’ve not had particularly great difficulty there either–and have, in fact, dated at least four women who overtly said that they didn’t want to go out with someone shorter than they were. As much as anythign else its about being intrepid, determined and confident that what I have to offer (in this case a bright, thoughtful, capable guy who doesn’t want a trophy but rather a partner who can help me as I do the same for her (though in different ways of course)). The fact that none of these relationships has ended in something long term never had to do with height issues and had everything to do with the fact that either I wasn’t ready for whati
I do think that both men and women have an image for what a couple should ‘look like’, and dont’ deal with it well when either the people around them–or even more frighteeningly, themselves–don’t meet this image. There’s no doubt in my mind that a lot of women are guilty of this and I think that it does have to deal with the fact that they want to be feminine(I.E. seemingly small and delicate), even though many of our society’s images of ‘perfection’ in female form are tall women with “lots of presence”.
there’s no doubt but that heightism exists in dating, careers and much more but i believe that much as other ‘isms’ have been overcome in the past, this one will be as well. after all, most of the other isms are biological in nature (i’m a geneticist and so feel comfortable saying this) with strong social reinforcement. fear of the “other” is instinctive and its taken years to overcome (and here only partly) the racism, sexism and other problems that our society has to deal with.
For those who’ve been turned down because they’re short (and I have far more often than I’ve gone out with a tall woman), all I can say is stop whining and keep asking. If you’re really worth her while, sooner or later a tall, smart, pretty or whatever girl will say “yes”.
I’m a 5’9″ male (could pass for 5’10” though) and never even considered I was short until online dating became popular and women started listing their height preferences 5’10” or even 6′ and above. That being said, I LOVE being 5’9″. 5’9″ rocks! I’m usually pretty close to being face to face with my date. We can have an intimate conversation while we’re slow dancing. We laugh and have a great time. I couldn’t ask for anything better.
Does that mean I’m a hit with all the women? Heck no. Rejection is part of the dating game. Really though. I couldn’t tell you if it was my looks, height, or the fact she has a boy friend. I just moved on. They weren’t mean about it so it was just not to be. It wasn’t my business to ask why.
Women are attacted to men taller than themselves rather we like it or not. Not a big deal. There are so many great sweet women out there who you can connect with that the heightist chicks can be ignored. Don’t forget. You can’t see what these heightist chicks look like either so they have their own flaws that you probably wouldn’t be attracted to them either (big butts, huge thighs goofy faces, too old, wrinkly, smokes, ect..) Women tend to overrate themselves as much as men. Let them fight over the small percentage of tall men. There’s plenty of fish in the sea to waste my time on chicks who are into just the cosmetics.
In the past I have avoided dating shorter men, not because of their height per se, but rather because of their short-man complex. I don’t know why they think being aggressive makes them more attractive…
That said, I’ve just started dating a man who is the same height as me (I’m 5’4″) and he’s wonderful. Masculine, warm, funny, strong, kind, handsome: I could go on. His height is not an issue, because he doesn’t think it is, or make it one.
Have you ever given a thought to the idea that there is no such thing as “short man complex”? That maybe both tall men and short men get angry. But when a short man get’s angry, it is attributed to his height?
Pete –
If the man himself attributes his aggression to his height, regardless of whether there is actually a causal link to an un-height related physiological or psychological condition, then yes, I think there certainly is such a thing as a short man complex.
Obviously one can only speak from experience: I am neither a psychologist nor a statistician.
actually your comment about how men dont care about a woman’s height – thats not true for me. maybe its becuz im pretty short (5’8″) so i unconsiously want a longer-legged, taller woman who would bear me tall children.
yeah and ill have to agree with anneka. being a short guy myself, at first i couldnt believe it…but after meeting some truly short guys (5’4 5’6) I’ve realised it does exist. for example, one day i was opening a door and i didnt see this tiny fella on the otherside and accidentally brushed his arm as i was opening it, i apologised but he got real pissy and all offended and shit, im just like “wow. short men complex does exist.”
Anneka and Arthur do not seem to realize that short men have been discriminated against since they are little boys. They always get pick-on, bullied, have their lunch stolen and get tons on wedgies. In fact taller boys will inflict pain on their shorter friends to impress girls and their own clique.
Even a short grown-up does not get the respect in public…they get discriminated against in jobs, they get pushed around in malls. In the work enviornment…people are respectful of a short boss….they have to be…but this same boss, when he goes out does not get shit…so he has to be aggressive to survive. The issue with women is just another aspect…women prefer an undereducated, ill mannered jerk as long he is tall…no wonder they get treated shabbily…do they deserve it? No…but they brought it upon their superficial selves.
Arthur,
Suppose you had opened the door and brushed up against a taller guy who then got angry and belligerent with you. You would have thought “gee, he must be having a bad dayâ€. But because it was a short man, you think “wow, short-man-complex does exist!â€. Just because you meet one short man who had a bad day, doesn’t mean that there is such thing as “short-man-complexâ€.
And also, you call yourself “shortâ€, but then you call this other guy “truly short†because he’s 5’6â€? You don’t sound like your short at all. But let’s assume that you’re 5’8â€. I’m sure if you get angry at a 6’0†for what-ever-reason, he will attribute your anger to “short man complexâ€.
Regarding AI’s comments: I personally disagree with you. I am 5’6, and I am never been “picked on”, had my lunch stolen, etc. In fact, quite the contrary. In high school (where girls for some reason are blind to a boys height, unlike many adult women these days), I was homecoming king, honor student, dated all of the most popular girls, yadda, yadda. Now I am 34 years old, just recently back on the singles scene, and I can say it is slightly more difficult being short as an adult male. However my confidence and success (yes I am a short successful manager of a mortgage company believe it or not AI) has helped me in my dating adventures. Now my biggest hurdle-I have a 5’9 drop dead beautiful female friend that I hang out with that is also single. We hang out together just as friends but to be quite honest I am afraid to make a move because I wonder if she she thinks of me as too short for her. She has made certain inuendos here and there that lead me to believe she IS interested. I won’t know if I don’t try, but if I do try and she rejects my advances, I might lose a friendship. Any advice anyone?
Go for it Paul.
But do it in the form of a question, or a big hint. That way you can “play it off” if she rejects your advances.
FYI, I’m a short guy too who was never “picked on”. I was popular in HS, and I am happy with my life. But I recognize that heightism exists, and it annoys me when I hear the “short-man-complex” stereotype being tossed about. I think it is bigoted ignorance.
Sort of like guys who think that a woman who gets angry must be “on the rag”.
Shorter males are easily dominated by other males and held to lower esteem, thus they can’t climb the economic ladder, or struggle….unless they set out alone. There is a preference for taller guys in all kinds of jobs which don’t require stature; taller guys get the rub of the green in setting good 1st impressions at interviews, I think this is down to ‘sub-conscious prejudices’ which were set down during prehistoric times (confident shorter guys come across as too arrogant, and pussies/meek if the opposite – they can’t win), where as tallness is associated with a better upbringing, leadership qualities and competence, which can’t benefit shorter guys if women put resources (money for rearing babies) and ‘status'(whether a man is regarded as an alpha: one respected by other males;, or a beta: scoffed at/bullied and ignored by other males) high on the agenda when sieving for mates.
I was very aware of the above intra-male competition from a very young age – i even thought that bosses or people who decide whom they higher, had it’s higher lions share of bisexuals/gays because there was this physical preference for taller peers. I couldn’t get a job in min.wage grocery stores aged 16 to 18, where as the guys over the road did (same age,same 1st time job-seekers), i was 5ft 5 at the time and they were 5ft10 +. And no, there wasn’t any high shelves where height perhaps would’ve been advantages. I’m now 5ft9 and although this is supposed to be average it still feels short and disadvantaged, so I’m questioning if average height exists anymore, or has the gulf narrowed? What is your opinion of average? – it used to be that 5’8″ to 5’10” meant you were average (a 2 inch differential) now it seems exclusive only to the 5ft10 club (drawn down to 1 inch). Basically, anybody 5’11” (180cm) or above is tall, where as 5’9″, even 5’9.5″ (176cm) is met with “Yeah, he was kind of on the short side.”
Short is the driving force of mankind, one of the mystery’s of life. BTW I’m a Police Officer by trade and just obsessed with size-inferiority complexes in males.
Lets break it down. Small is inferior because:
1. A higher percentage of women prefer tall men over those very few that do happen to tolerate small, the ratio is like for every 20 women only 1 would consider a mate of the same height (not smaller). Males have to respond to females needs if they wish to be survived.
2. Because women prefer tall, this instructs shorter men from teens onwards to become misogynistic…possibly making them wanting to beat up or harm women, now thats bad. Theres no role reversal as the male species always wants to be in control – the dominant one better than his rivals, it won’t change.
3. People feel uneasy around shorter men – often through a sense of doubt – and if the societal need is to produce more social offspring fit for this ever increasing close-knit social society, then it makes no sense promoting the values(if any) of a shorter man!
4. Like Tony Pond said, taller men are respected more by other men, though it’s subjective because if one is too over sized/large/hyper masculine, it’s viewed as a threat too. There needs to be a balance not an extreme height, I feel.
5. Smaller men, like ugly men of any size for that matter, are more likely to commit crimes because nobody wants them! There only way to regain any self-worth is to go out and harm that which rejected them; the fitter people always win in the justice system though(regardless if they discriminate), so it’s a no-win situation…. unless you like being buggered in jail and that ultimatum of a ruined life ahead.
6. A lot of diseases and neurological dysfunctions often produces short and undersized babies. Stress to the mother during pregnancy can harm the baby too, often causing the above problems. Premature births always produce smaller adults with increased mental health problems come adulthood, too.
7. Nations pride themselves on the size of its males within. This can only be a good thing in the wake of imminent threats from other countries, i.e warfare. Ever seen how the taller North Koreans make fun of the smaller South Koreans? You would’ve thought it’s the cause of all the frictions between the two countries, maybe it is? Ha ha ha. South Korean government as responded to this humiliation by changing the diets of school children……introducing them to a more lactose tolerant western diet full of bone-growing calcium. Thus it’s a global thing, not something stuck to Europids. Any short guy thinking an Asian women is on the cards should think again.
8. Tall is better at most sports due to leverage. Small might be useful say if your a jockey, but that just looks gay.
9. Look better in clothes.
10. Tall men are in the movies laying the foundations of role models to millions of young boys. Any short movie star in a leading role is always hammered by the press. Look what it did to Tom Cruise – he’s a nut nut these days.
11. You can drive a truck, be a lumberjack, operate a crane, be a captain of a boat and any other manly jobs which require trust. Ever seen a runt do that? Thought not.
Paul,
Don’t dip yor pen in company ink.
Jake,
You are wrong, let me give you a break down.
Making them wanting to beat up or harm women?
A lot of diseases and neurological dysfunctions often produces short and undersized babies?
Smaller men, like ugly men of any size for that matter, are more likely to commit crimes because nobody wants them?
Please do us all a favor and stick to being a police officer. Hopefully you are better at that, then you are at trying to analyse short men….give me a break.
I suspect “jake” was raped by a short guy. let it go, jake. Don’t dump your hate on all short guys because you crossed the wrong short guy.
@ Jake
You, sir, are an idiot.
I do not find the need to address your ignorance and stupidity; it is just a shame that the things you say on the internet you wouldn’t every say to someones face.
I pretty much agree with Tony Pond, except for the first line. Instead of reading “Shorter males are easily dominated by other males and held to lower esteemâ€, it should read “shorter males are perceived to be easily dominated by other males…†I don’t think shorter men are necessarily any easier to “dominate†than other men, but they are perceived as so and this makes the difference. Because if the shorter guy proves that he is physically superior, then he will be labeled with the “short man complexâ€. So whether the short guy is actually easier to dominate or not is immaterial.
The rest of the post I pretty much agree with. I would add that all (or substantially all) of the issues with height are socially driven. Like racism or sexism, heightism can be challenged if someone decided to launch a concerted effort. Some of heightism is innate, but some of racism is innate also; but that doesn’t mean we should sit back and enjoy it. The only thing that I don’t think could be changed in a generation is the female preference for height. Like the male preference for slimness, it’s not going anywhere for a long time.
But employment and social discrimination can and should be challenged.
Just an update from my earlier post, here is an excerpt from that post: [Now my biggest hurdle-I have a 5′9 drop dead beautiful female friend that I hang out with that is also single. We hang out together just as friends but to be quite honest I am afraid to make a move because I wonder if she she thinks of me as too short for her. She has made certain inuendos here and there that lead me to believe she IS interested. I won’t know if I don’t try, but if I do try and she rejects my advances, I might lose a friendship. Any advice anyone?]
I just asked her to a swank wedding reception at very nice supper club on Sunday (short notice I know), and she happily accepted my offer. What with those heels she’ll be wearing, she’ll have a good half a foot on me. I love it! We’ll see what transpires…..
I tell you how to solve the heightism. First off as men make it clear women are shallow. Secondly since it’s acceptable to disqualify a man due to his height we can disqualify a woman due to her weight. We can do so without feeling bad. Here is what you would say.
You look great and are a great woman but your 5 lbs over my limit. I’m sorry your just too fat!
Ummm… okay I never understood the whole “the man has to be taller than the woman thing” but it seems like if the girl is really short she still wouldn’t go out with you if you’re taller than her.I just really don’t understand this at all wtf.
Wow there is alot of crap in here. Okay about short guys… thats me. Well it is kind of depressing to know that there is this kind of discrimination I guess, but seriously do you want someone who is that superficial… I dont. It sucks that my choice of dates is statistically smaller but whatever, I am sure I will find some smart cute perfect woman.
Okay now onto some of the crap… first I have never felt the need to beat up a woman ever.. altho I have stopped a guy from doing it to his girlfriend.. I didnt get my ass kicked and he wasnt short.
Second penis size is actually pretty average despite height or weight. abnormally large and small ones are based on genetics… altho they do look bigger on smaller guys based on comparison. I have an average sized penis and am glad its not bigger … I think it would look funny.
And last some interesting facts … smaller men and women are:
less likely to get cancer
less likely to die in an automobile accident
have faster reaction times
less likely to break bones
more likely to live longer
at lower risk for cardiovascular disease
and have a higher muscle ratio based on weight.
Not saying short people are better … but we do have our advantages.
If you dont believe me look it up. There are alot of medical and scientific reports that support this.
So if your short just learn to take the good with the bad.
Oh i missed something smaller guys have an advantage in alot of sports too. Due to reaction times, muscle ratio, and the fact they are less likely to break bones. Here is a list Diving, Wrestling(within weight class), Gymnastics, Martial Arts, Skiing, Boxing(withing weight class), Lifting(also weight class), Soccer, Rodeo, Rock Climbing, and Long Distance Running.
I am 5″2. I recently met a girl who has it all together as far as looks go. She is 5″10 and she said she would date me and that she has dated guys about my height in the past. I would rather not date her. I just like tiny short girls. I dated girl in the past that was 5″8 and I hated it. I know the height thing should not matter (me being so short) but it does. I like to be closer in height. Guess it’s my own insecurity.
Yeah…must be your own insecurity. That’s strange though. I don’t think most men would care about something as shallow as height (if it would otherwise work).
I am a male who is 5’7″, and have been the target of the occasional short joke, and have even been discriminated against because of my height. However, I tend to take it all in stride. Obviously there isn’t much I can do to make myself taller. If anyone, woman or man judges me based solely on my height, then they are only revealing their own ignorance. Really, isn’t there more to a person than just appearance? The irony is that if I refuse to date a woman because she is obese, I am labeled a shallow jerk. If a woman refuses to date a shorter man then that is just fine. As far as I am concerned, if a woman won’t date me merely because of my height, that is her loss. Wouldn’t want to date such a shallow bitch anyhow.
I loved this post. It was a result of my very own attempt at googling taller women and shorter men. Google made it all better again.
message board coming soon. All about short dudes. Discuss any topic you like…davids21@operamail.com . Email me for the site when it is launched. Spread the word. Still need a name for the site, so give me some suggestions. Also , what forums would you all like??
David , I’m only 5’3″ and love it..
David
All I can say is that this thread has been a revelation and has given me hope..
Jake is just jealous because short guys are more well endowed and he is most likely the size of a coloring crayon. Jake sorry women laugh at you in bed buddy!!!
Why are short guys always complaining about women not liking them? A lot of guys have it even worse- guys in wheelchairs, guys with chronic illnesses, blind guys, etc. Why don’t you ever hear them complaining about being alone? Suck it up and accept it, you little babies.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6501633.stm
Study: Short Men are ‘Not More Aggressive’
Hello,
Forum is up. go to shortsupport.info and join the Forum.
Thanks
DS
Im 5 ft 7 so im on the tall side of short for guys. However i rarely have problems when it comes to dating women regarding my size. I have even dated a women who was about 5ft 10 without heels !!! and there was no problem. however many women of my size any even shorter than me want men who are considerably taller than me ( like 6ft !!!) and when i ask them why the give me silly excuses like the wedding pictures woudn’t look right. I have just learnt how to deal with it, cuz at the end of the day life is aint fair. Us short guys have jus got to show women theres more 2 us than our hieght.
Interesting Blog.
I am 5’4 and 3/4″ (yep, I am proud of my exact height)! No reason to lie about it.
I’ve dated women taller, shorter, and the same height as me. I admit that I have been self-conscious with the taller women but that was during my high school years, and I’ve grown up since then. In college and graduate school, I dated taller women and I was fine with it. In fact my first sexual penetration experience was when I was 24 and she was 38 and also close to six inches taller than me. haha!
I guess I lean now more towards same height or taller. Although it’s hard find a woman who is attracted to shorter men. I’ve been online dating again for six months and it’s frustrating that 3/4 of the women that I may be interested in want a man that is at least three inches taller or even taller than that.
i’m English, and while the same prejudices still exist towards shorter people over the pond, women are a little more subtle in rejecting us. people often label angry short men as having ‘short man’s disease’ which is worse in my opinion than ‘napoleonic complex’, since, being likened to Napoleon, a rich empire conquerer, and notorious womaniser- i personally would find as a compliment. I can’t remember anyone ever having said i had ‘short man’s disease’ directly to my face since i’m normally perceived as a nice guy. Still, if anyone did intended that as a direct insult, i’d live up to the insult and rip their fucking ankles off! And perhaps this should be the mentality behind every short man who receives pejudice for being short anyway? Since if apparently being shorter makes people generally see you as inferior, physically, to other larger, more dominant males, why not adopt the short man complex as part of your personality and thus serve to manifest the idea that short people are not to be messed with! i think that’s the general rule anyway, becuase for every ten or so short guys you probs do get one wilder one, so people are generally weary of starting conflict with shorter people- but ESPECIALLY if they exude an air of confidence about them. Because you just never know.
being 5.5 but with excellent aethletic figure and particularly good looking (despite i never go to the gym and smoke constantly), these other two physical aspects kind of outweigh my height. Just being honest and realistic here, i am also very intelligent- however nightclubs and bars, or anywhere for that matter involving crowded areas and lots of noise, i find i get pushed around alot more, its harder to get served, walking in a crowd i get pushed to the back ect. But i suppose it’s upto the short guy to make up for his lack of height in every other area, whether or not this is recognised instantly by women, the fact remains the same that by improving on your own strengths you will have a far more fulfilling life. So i say, take the rough with the smooth, if people take digs jst ignore or twat them where appropriate, there’s plenny of chicks out there who no how to spot talent when they see it- their not all evil coniving shallow bitches!!
ps. jake i can see why your a police officer, with comments like those, probably a bully at school,needs power by authority- the kind of guy everyone hates. But seriously speak those attitudes out over here you’ll get your fucking arse kicked!
Ryan,
This post is in reference to your comments;
“ps. jake i can see why your a police officer, with comments like those, probably a bully at school,needs power by authority- the kind of guy everyone hates. But seriously speak those attitudes out over here you’ll get your fucking arse kicked! ”
I am a Police Officer as well. I believe that Jake is more than likely NOT a cop…I have NEVER met another cop who thinks such idiotic things as he put in his post. I would suggest to you that “Jake” is more than likely what I have recently discovered to be a “troll.” Someone who intentionally places totally inflamatory comments on discussion boards to “get a reaction.” I assume that “Jake” neither likes nor respects Cops or short men, which is why he chose to post those comments.
I must say that I take some offence to your comments about a Police Officer “being a bully at school, needs Power by authority…” I for one became a Cop so that I could protect those that are being pushed around. It is my utmost passion to see Justice be done (as well as ever frustrating).
I happen to stand 5’6″ and I have been the target of many derogatory comments/jokes. I also have found the dating world quite challenging.
Despite these challenges, (each and every one of us have challenges in life) we must strive to do our best with what we have and discuss the issue of Height discrimination with our friends and colleagues in an intelligent and rational manner. This, and these discussion boards will more than likely be the better ways to get our message “out there.”
fair point Brian, police officers do have a very difficult job, most of them choosing such a job in order to protect and serve the people- which is a very courageous and respectful decision, and it is ofcourse unfair of me to assume that all cops were bullies at school-since order in our society relies on you guys. So i do sincerely apologise for offending you and any members of police forces who read that. Having had a bad experience with an officer in the past myself, i was just angry at this guy posing as an officer making such ridiculous comments- but then it’s very wrong of me to go and generalize just because of one guy who gives a really bad impression- ha, just as it is to poke fun at short guys, or liken them to Napoleon!
No worries Ryan! I too was quite speechless (to be honest) when I read “Jake’s” post. The more I read it though, the more I started thinking “this guy can’t be a Police Officer.”
I considered posting a response to his comments. As I thought about it, and learned what a discussion group “troll” is, I decided that this is what he must be.
I then chose to follow Dan’s lead (02 12 07) and not waste my time.
I’m about 5’7′ and my current girlfriend is a super hottie. I’ve been in fights and have lost only once when I was jumped if you consider that a loss. Once I beat up a guy about 6’1, so that felt pretty good. He pushed me first probably because he thought “he could take me” cause i’m shorter. I don’t have “small man’s disease”, i’m a young intellect with an informed outlook on the world and our society. When I go out to party women find talking to me easy as if they’re talking to one of their girls, instead of a guy who’s only looking for one thing. Being short has never held me down, so the only conclusion I can come to is that it’s all in the attitude and the short guys that complain also have a victim’s mindset. In all aspects of my life, people have shown me respect.
P.S. My penis is easily 7 and a half inches (ladies, email for pics… jamfu28@aol.com)
Jamfu – Great! It’s fantastic that you are not having any difficulties in your life! I also feel that you are correct in that alot of people respect confidence in other people.
I will say this though; I grew up not knowing what height discrimination was, even though I was always one of (if not the) shortest male(s) around. I also had this feeling that I was being treated just a little bit differently. (jammed in school lockers and picked up/spun around at parties) I was the shortest male in my Police training class, but was not afraid to spar with any of my classmates and in fact was one of the top two physical performers in training. I was most certainly prepared to be there.
Now being in my late 30’s, I have come to realize that all the short jokes, all the comments, insults, and the challenges in dating may have something to do with the fact that I am shorter than 80% of the North American males. This is not to say, as I have said before, that other people do not have challenges – we all do.
I too, have dated “hottie’s” as you put it. In fact, a woman who was an international model, as well as others who very attractive. I think, though, that as women get older, only a select few retain their figures and those women have come to realize that they can be very picky with the men they choose to date. They usually do not choose shorter men. (Check the online preferences for attractive, fit women in their late 30’s)
I did use online dating services for some time and was disappointed to see that many women (especially attractive ones) including women around 5′ tall would only date men 5’10” and taller.
What? A woman will only date a man who is 10″ taller than her? Holy Crap! Hope she has a good medical plan to pay for those chiropractic neck adjustments and back alignments from wearing heels constantly.
Then I started reading the research on short people, men in particular, and found that this bias does in fact exist.
I guess my point is this – enjoy the ride, but be cognizant of the fact that this predjudice does exist and be prepared to deal with it – if it ever happens to you. (I hope it doesn’t)
(Quite frankly I am tired of being called names – I have volunteered thousands of hours at work and put my life on the line on numerous occasions to make my community and country a little bit safer – I deserve a bit more respect than that)
As I said in my earlier post, be the best you can with what you have, keeping in mind that some people view being short as negative.
PS – perhaps those that are “complaining” as you put it, are not as tall as you and have had far more challenges than you. Perhaps they are using this forum to air their experiences and discuss the fact that this predjudice does exist (Make no mistake – it does)
I absolutely agree with you that this prejudice does exist and people like us are being discriminated against for this feature beyond our control. And I see where you’re coming from with women judging men like us prematurely, so i’m going to address that statement.
WOMEN HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY WANT!
Now that I got that out of the way i’ll explain to you why I say this. You ask a women what she looks for in a guy and something very common and unoriginal reverberates through the air… “I want him to be nice, caring, responsible, have a good job, blah blah blah” But who do you see attractive women end up with a lot of the time? The “bad boys”. The guys who aren’t afraid to say whats on their mind and give women a challenge instead of answering to their every need. That’s not what women want, they may say it’s what they want, but it’s not true. They want a man who will be himself and give a shit less whether he’s with her or not. They want a man who they think is in high demand among other women and the way to give off this trait rests in your ability to “attract” the woman.
It’s not an easy thing to do to portray this quality to women, but it can be learned. I read what you said about how women don’t find short men attractive, but that is absolutely untrue. It all depends on the guy and if he is ABLE TO STRIKE A WOMEN AS ATTRACTIVE. Yeah, we may have a slight disadvantage upon first impression, but it can easily be made up with a confident, funny demeanor. Theres a lot more to it and if any of you short guys out there are really having problems with dating and finding a women send me an email and I’d be glad to help you out and give you some specific pointers. Peace and love.
Though an “inferior short guy” (I’m 5’6), I thought I would respond to Jake’s top ten list from 2/11 about why he hates us. Here is my top ten for Jake:
Top ten most prevalent thoughts that enter Jake’s vacuous cranial cavity while spanking his 2.23″ spider monkey in the donut shop bathroom whilst on duty.
10) Why was Rep.Foley thinking? Thanks a lot, now even I don’t have a chance at Prom.
9) If I just had a few more inches I could do the Buffalo Bill tuck from Silence of the Lambs.
8) Rodney King did have a nice ass…
7) MMMM, frosted dougnuts again….
6) How did he get out of those handcuffs last night? My bedpost is made out of titanium, and that key was buried in my ass.
5) Why didn’t Sanjaya wave to me? I waited in line for 2 days for that seat!
4) Rod Stewart must have had a weak stomach. I swallowed my entire precint and still managed to eat these donuts no problem.
3) Why do pygmies have larger units than me? Maybe circumcision will give me an “outtie”.
2) I still can’t believe I blew that assigment. Hell I blow a lot of things now that I think about it…
1) I’m getting depressed now…but as George Michael says I gotta have faith.
I was at the jacuzzi the other night (at my condo) and I met two older ladies there. I am 30 they were late 40’s. To make a short story shorter, we were talking about relationship type stuff. I mentioned that I like dating short girls. They both said that I had a great peronality…bla bla bla. That I could date a woman of any height, that women don’t really mind dating short guys. “Woman don’t really mind dating short guys”? Nice!
I love shorter men who also a bit stocky or got meat on them! I just find them so attractive and cuddly and so SEXY! Am 5’11”, and always want my men shorter than me.
And they have been worth it I tell you, if you know what I mean…….
Gosh, that Jake guy needs his head examined. So who died and made him Sigmund Dr. Phil Freud? Never saw such rubbish. Dont worry Brain, we didnt apply that to all officers. And you know, dating is all about self love first. If you dont believe you are beautiful and fantastic, not many people will. Am not magazine perfect, but am beautiful and sexy in my eyes. And some people have agreed with me enough to pick me over “more attractive” choices.
Is there a dating site for short people?
Does anybody think location matters? I mean, is it easier for a short guy to get a date in NY as opposed to TX?
Im 5.8 and have never had a problem finding women even easier then most of my taller friends. The reason is i am good looking, i workout so women find me sexy and most taller guys respect me because they know i could kick there ass.
Anton, you are average height.
I am a shorter than average man 5,6.I think that secure women that don’t care what others think will date a guy for who he is rather than how tall he is.The women who are insecure may need security and they think that a taller man can provide that for them and for them that is a reality.(I am on the shorter side and was just awarded for heroic actions by the city i live in for saving my neighbors life by manhandling a man that stabbed her five times in her stomach. There were several taller men and shorter men that did not jump in to help her and me for that matter because they feared for there own lives.I know there are many tall men that would of helped this poor lady.Being a man is being a man tall or short.My point being tall or short men can actually provide the same amount of security.Sorry for boasting.)Some insecure women may also care about what what other insecure people think.They feel that they may look funny with a shorter man because of the way hollywood has percieved what is normal or magazines they read..I am sure a lot of girls that prefer taller men will bend there requirements or preferences due to aura.Everybody thinks they know what they want but what they end up with may be different.
I also think sometimes a shorter man may be down on himself for being short.Which is natural.Just think if you were tall and you went on a dating website and 80 percent of the women wanted a short guy. If you were mad about that you would have tall man syndrome lol.So if your down on yourself for being short you are insecure.Why would an insecure women want an insecure man?
I personally am looking for a more secure women because thats what turns me on.To find a girl that doesn’t care about my height should not be hard because it is not an issue with me.If i get turned down because of my height is a turn off to me just as my height is a turn off to her.
I have nothing against what women want and I am sure that women that like taller guys are not intending to hurt guys that are shorter.
Thats my angle I am sure that it can be improved or corrected.Thanks
“Anton, you are average height.”
Pepin, Average male height in the U.S. is 5’10”. He is two inches shorter than average. But even this isn’t really “short”. To me, short starts at 5’6″.
James, you have a good point. Tall man syndrome……now that’s funny.
I’m 5’9, and haven’t ever really seen my height as an issue within college dating-I just go for girls under my height instinctually. The top two athletes in my school happend to be 5’10 and 5’8 repsectively and got the most girls, they just went for girls shorter than them and were pretty much never rejected. These guys were built though. Also, another one of my best friends is 5’6, very handsome, musical, and loaded, and he only bangs the hottest women.
HOWEVER, I have been made fun of for my height in the corporate world-by guess who?-a 5 10 guy who is VERY napoleonic. Thus, height is more of an issue within a male-dominated social hierarchy. Height has become a very stupid and prejudicial way of establishing pecking order and it annoys me. Even I, a slightly short guy, subconciously prob. don’t respect the opinions of guys 5’5 and under as much as tall guys, especially if they look really young. This is clearly a result of cultural conditioning, and it’s wrong. Being overweight represents sloth, poor education, and lack of self-respect in many cases. The same cannot be said for height.
Im 5’10 dating a gye whos 5’8.He’s the most wonderful person I’ve ever met,but this is the third day I’ve spend crying coz of the hight difference.Plz help
Why are you crying because of the height difference? I don’t get it.
is every body dum here im 6’6 tal dont give a fuck about hieght love me i love u back love me more i lve you back more
Ironically, I suspect that very tall people and very short people make the least amount of judgments based on height.
Our society’s irrational heightism is insane.
so sad, maybe you need to be with a guy thats 5’3″ or somthing, if 5’8″ is too tall for you. nothing to ball your eyes out over.
So Sad, basically you need to reevaluate yourself because your insecurities are going to affect your relationship with this guy. I’m sure height doesn’t really matter to him because if it did he wouldn’t be with a taller woman, but the problem rests in you. You need to control your insecurities of what the outside world will think of you and engage in a mature relationship. And if you’re still crying everyday due to something neither one of you can control, then save that decent man his time and move on to a more shallow relationship with a taller man. Simple as that. Once you tell him why you’re breaking up with him, i’m sure he won’t be too hurt because he’ll realize that it’s not his problem and that you’re just shallow and insecure. I wouldn’t be surprised if you find something to cry about with every guy you’re with that he can’t control.
Shallow and insecure am I?I don’t care what other ppl will think,but it makes me feel huge,like a giant or something because my legs are alot longer than his.My mom is not making it any easier eather.Half the time I’m scared she wont let me see him becouse she believes that he’s only going out with a taller,prity girl to get laid-we argue about it at lest twice a day.And “I wouldn’t be surprised if you find something to cry about with every guy you’re with that he can’t control.”-whow,you don’t have to be so agro and judgemental you know.How would you feel if you had towerd over all the ppl in your class ever since grade 3 and once you finally got to the stage where the ppl who teased you with names like “long john” are actually your hight or taller,you are asked out by someone shorter than you?Ever want to feel small and fragile when a man is holding you?Oh wait,you can’t imagine that couse you never been a girl have you?And you’v never had to learn a new language,culture and been laughed at and have no friends becouse you have a different accent and use dictionery words that these little kids have never heard before.If I cared about ppl’s oppinion I’d commit scuicide a long time ago.Fact is I can’t just break up with him, couse I know it will break his heart and I adore his personality. Guess I was hoping someone would say that its ok to be with some one shorter or something.But all I’ll ever get is criticism.Maibe I’m cursed or something?
Just feels like I’m putting up a huge fight to be with him,but at the end of the day it’s not worth it any way. Thanks Jamfu-you’ve officially made my day…
huuu? What the heck happened here?
You could be making a huge mistake, so sad. Not saying that he is your soulmate…but if he is, then you are going to miss him because you’re taller?
Too bad.
Hello everyone, anyone know a good website for shorty men dating and chat??
I can’t find anything
Hey guys and gals…
I’ve been following up these comments for quite some time now…Heightism is a very interesting conundrum….it’s interesting in a sense that it’s effects are present, yet, never to a degree that it needs special attention as is the case with racism or sexism…yet at the same time it’s effects are damaging enough, that it truly bothers many short people on a daily basis. It is also sort of a taboo I noticed….many people don’t like to talk about it or discuss it. I personally have never encountered Heightism is any aspect of my life, other than perhaps my dating life.
I’m currently 23 years old, 5’5’’ and have had a number of dates….but as time passes, I’m starting to realize more and more how the issue of height is an important one for women. It’s amazing that in every other aspect of my life, be it friends, job, school, or anything else…the issue of height has never been problematic for me and probably won’t be, but the dating scene is a real struggle. I guess the biggest struggle is finding the reasons. I think a lot of short men need closure. Many women, although they would never date a short man seriously, do not admit that, that is the reason because they want to avoid being shallow, and I won’t and CAN’T blame them, since I myself have some physical preferences which may seem shallow to those who don’t fit into its requirements…So I can’t judge, but this is my main problem…
I understand if women want to date men that are taller than them…but here is the big problem….now a days it seems that not only women want to date men that are taller than them, but men that are tall in general….the issue of relative height is a thing of a past….that’s why you see 5 foot nothing girls going out with guys that are 5’10’’ and over….what gives?…why would a girl like that go for those guys, when there are a sea of other guys that are just as good and yet still taller than her….leave those guys for taller girls…..this is precisely why short men and tall women are becoming the more frustrated of the sexes…what do you guys think?
well philospher king , i think you made some good points. short girls like tall guys and tall guys like short girls maybe because opposites attract, who knows..also, short girls hate themselves for being short and because of that hate short guys also..wierd but thats how I see it. Of corse thats not all short girls, not generalizing here.
A lot of people will have an easier time finding a mate if they consider the individual as a person first, and not as an object..thats what many women do with men..just consider the physical..once they get to know them, they start to see the human side more and more..and certin things no longer matter..thats why you get this attitude by women in chat rooms or dating sites..they are looking for “a thing”, not a human being..guess they think its like buying a hambuger, more beef, more beef..the better..hey, where’s the beef? is their attitude. Once these women are caught off guard and actually start looking at the “individual” the beef is no longer important..and love, respect, personality, intelligence from a short dude is not different from a tall dude..
you can read more of by comments and discussions in my Forum..do check it out !!
Now I understand some guys frustrations with those dating sites or ads in the personals..I was recently in a chat room and women talking about how difficult it was to find a guy..one 56yr old lady, 5’4″ was saying how she would only accept tall men..So I ask her why would that matter to you ? you already have one foot in the coffin.
Dave
Great response Dave….put up the link to your forum and i’ll be sure to check it out….”one foot in the coffin”…too funny! hahah
“It’s amazing that in every other aspect of my life, be it friends, job, school, or anything else…the issue of height has never been problematic for me”
How do you know whether or not you’ve faced heightism in your life. How could you tell? Isn’t it possible that the dating thing is just where it is most obvious because a woman might tell you something negative about short men, but your boss won’t?
I have faced it .. I am 5 feet 4 inches and i have been close to girls shorter than me, but still they have left because they got more inches .
It’s possible, but what you don’t know won’t hurt you I guess hahah….It’s really frustrating in the dating scene though.
More inches? It’s great to brag (to girls)about how little I am or it is :-)Just say, trust me, it’s little and cute like me. Not only do they think it’s funny, they are curious. That way, they can never be disappointed.
Although I am not short or average (I am tall at 5’11.5″) I find heightism an interesting topic.
However, I want you short guys and average height guys to know this: Being tall is OVERRATED and please stop thinking if you were my height or taller all of your life problems would go away. If height was the end all-be all of things, shouldn’t I have women throwing themselves at me? (and no, I am not ugly, I am moderately handsome) Shouldn’t I have so much women after me since 100% of women would be going after only 15% of the male population.
Everyone has their problems (believe me I have mine) I should also mention I took alot of crap from people growing up because I am was unathletic. I was always picked on by the “short” athletic brothers down the street because I was not good at sports and I was skinny. However, maybe there were jealous that I was taller than them.
Not that I want to take pleasure in other people’s problems, but thanks for the comforting comment Mike.
Like I said, this really is a problem in the dating scene…other than that it’s alright.
People are simply attracted to, who they are attracted to, its for the most part not a choice. I am a 5ft 2in male and after many years I have had to finally accept the almost all women don’t find me attractive, and often quite the opposite. Its always hurt and always will. I have been with women, and been married and am a parent. Im alone now and there is a good chance for the rest of my life I might be alone. I won’t live everyday of my life in bitterness and denial. I am over it, I cant do anything about it, all I can do is take care of myself, believe in myself, whatever happens is going to. So, I don’t have any hate for women who find me unattractive because I am so short, and its just how they feel. There are other types though that I do hate. The ones who express there dislike for short guys and gloat about it. They TRY to hurt peoples feelings. They are the segment of the population that are truly shallow. Same goes for the males who put down shorter guys to make themselves feel better. I used to be devastated by you types of people. Now, you have made me thankful for who I am. Anyone who tries to hurt some bodies feelings on a personal level is truly soulless. No, I don’t have the happy sex life you do, no I don’t know the joy of being in love and having the companionship of someone special. I do what I can to find meaning and joy. One of my greatest joys is that I have a soul and am not like those who have none, for that I am happy to be a 5ft 2 guy.
I’ve been fortunate enough to be blessed with height. [I’m 6’5″]
But it always wasn’t that way, in the earlier years in high school I was short… I mean really short. [5’3″] It wasn’t till my early years in college that I started to sprout up, and there was a noticable change with my relations with women. It wasn’t that I couldn’t get a date when I was shorter, it was just that the pickings where slimmer. I’m not sure why that is, or why it’s such a turn off to women, but I’m very glad that I’m tall.
i’m 5″3′ and 17! so u can imagen the hell i face on a daily basses but strangly ‘ve never han a girl problem and i’m into taller girls,not much of a choice anyaway lol,no but seriously i’ve yet 2 meet any lady tht dosen’t like me because of my height. their usualy more foces other things…. my bigger and better qualities
I am a 5’5” 33 y.o. male.
I have felt it before and am still feeling the pain of being short.
Any reason I should not commit suicide?
I am really on a verge.
This is a great thread. You guys that are like 5’6″, I’d love to be 5’6″, try being 5’0″, no women want to date you. Like someone said, even the short girls want TALL guys, it’s like a contest with women amongst their friends how tall their guy is regardless of their own height. I was hopeful the web would make it easier, but it’s made it worse because women put their height preference in their search. Other guys say build your confidence but that is tough when you see women always looking up at men with stars in their eyes and you have so few successes yourself. Women are more superficial then men, contrary to what were told by the media. Plenty of men like heavier girls and most girls can lose the weight if they really want to, not much us guys can do about our height.
I once asked a women out who rejected me with one of the worst things to say which was “if you were foot taller I would go out with you.” (I am 5’4″)She could have just said no.
Reading these comments has brought to me much amusement, and yes I do know how serious a business this all can be! I am 33 and only 5ft5, I have always been petite… and had great success with girls in the past. Currently I am single and looking for a nice girl, so I chanced upon internet dating as a way to supplement my chances of meeting a cool chic, along with the more traditional method of simply going out to bars and parties. The internet dating scene is harsh – it has to be said… but not all girls are quite so prejudice against short guys. I recently went on a date with a gal only an inch shorter than me – but herself topped up (lol) with 3 inch heels. It was really cool. She was nice. I did expect the conversation to peter out and us both to go our separate ways, but we ended up having a really nice evening and a hot snog at the end ;-). My experiences have varied from the last all the way to the other end of the spectrum… and it is not nice. Especially when you get it into your head that if you were only 4 inches taller then things may have gone diferently. A number of my past dates have made this comment upon meeting me “I haven’t dated a guy as short as you before, my last bf was —ft tall” my answer usually is “Sounds to me like we are both in virgin territory then! I have never dated a girl as —– as you before” Insert rude/big boned/average/poorly dressed/un educated/flat chested. That comment can get you slapped, but the really open minded nice chics with a sense of humour stick around and have fun. Being short is cool… it has taken me a while to realise it, but I think us shorties are pretty lucky.
When you start thinking along the lines of: If I had a twin, who had the same look, same job, same money, same personality (go with this) and yet was 6 inches taller… who would get the girl? Then you are doomed. Short guys, be cool to yourselves.
I also avoised taller girls always until I met a girl 6″ taller
ive dated 1 girl taller than me, and i have to admit it did kinda make me feel weird
Austin; it’s all about the ladies and your fear of anything other than the ‘norm’. I have noticed the ‘norm’ is not always the best avenue to take in life, as it prevents you from experiencing lots of other different thoughts and feelings. Hey, look at it this way – why would you want to spend time with a person who is so shallow as to define your desirability as a function of your height? In some instances the guy or gal is so blinded by their personal desire to be dependant on what other people think that no amount ethical debating will change the way they view potential partners… and why would you? Lol, I would much rather be with an open minded gal – even if this means I have to woo her in a way which she hasn’t been before to get on her radar. Yep I said woo… what a idiot eh? 😉 BTW that is not a dig at the girls for announing to the world that they only find tall or taller than average guys attractive in THAT way! You can’t help being the way you are – as you have pointed out time and time again. It’s just there is a large amount of us out there who can help how we react to new experiences and learn to embrace them for what they are deep down and not just on the surface… again that was not a dig 😉 Live with your choices with dignity… we apparently have to.
G
For fucks sake!!! What a crazy thread. I was trying to find some jeans for short men which are increasingly hard to find nowadays and that`s my main complaint here! Anyway get some fucking balls Short stuff!!! I too am a fantastic 5`5. I love competing against our lanky brothers and theres not many things that taller people can do better than me other than slam dunk or reach for some bananas. DO you really want to date empty, brainless women who have nothing to talk about other than the simple life(with paris of course), go shopping and buy the new razr. Borrring! Look at it this way I don’t want to date women who are heightist to begin with and thats fine! Why would I? I`m not sadistic. If someone rejects you based purely on your height then thats a good thing-one more woman out of the equation whos looking to make herself a little more secure in society and with her friends. Do you want to go out with someone like that????!. What makes me laugh is when people(also men) try to carve a mold for what they want-yes he has to be tall, dark and handsome or blonde, big breasts and perfect figure Ok Cinderela, but he may beat you, cheat and treat you like crap. Society is this man-made concept where everything is good if you fit into the ideal characteristics. Anybody going against the normal is made to feel uncomfortable. Look at people who dont have legs, eyes, ears, teeth! some are midgets which is a real inconvenience. Some people are blind, deaf! Anyway put it in perspective – people are dying from cancers, wars, poverty. You have a voice, you can do everything a tall guy can do, apart from reach for those high bananas. Get yourself in order pal and stop being a victim. You are in no way hindered motherfucker, get out there and help people who truly have problems.
Yeah… what the crazy short guy said. I concur.
😉
G
Ha ha ha, wow, Mitchell, little mans syndrome sucks, doesn’t it? Totally, kidding. You are right, we do have a lot to be thankful for, but, we always want things we don’t have; money, girls, height, weight, bigger this, smaller that…whatever. I think it is human nature to want more then we have. I am 5″3 and of course I would LOOOVE to be taller, but it does not mean I am not happy or happy with myself.
why is it a men 5’5″ to 5’7″is new midget for women! if a man 5’10” to 6’4″
you got made! Ive been dating 0n 5 differant dating web sites. all women on they dating profile only want men 5’10 to 6’4″ tall. lot of these women are only 4’10 to 5″4 tall on these dating web sites. Its not my hang-up about height! Iam 5’5″ tall and go out with a women that 5’8″ tall. I think women gota
chance that cave men theory about how tall men can take care of women better
than a men 5’5″ to5’7″ tall. so what your theory on short men?
Some of us have it more difficult than others. At the age of 8 I remember being worried about how tall I would be as an adult. Think about that. I was a little kid worried about my adult height. How many others out there worried about that? Where does this fear come from? Does this not show heightism is something taught/learned as children?!
There was no concept of why being taller would be better…I just ‘knew’ being taller than others was better. My parents were nice enough to set me up with a dr. to do some tests, take x-rays & blood samples, that sort of thing. Doc said I’d probably never be taller than 5’1, 5’2 at the most. Most of my family is short, I’m still on the runt side than most of them. At 25 I’m 5’1″ +/- a few cm. As a boy I already knew I’d never be what men were SUPPOSED to be. Big and strong, able to ‘take care’ of everything. I’ve lived a gloomy, depressing life. I’d be the one people loved, hysterical to friends, always laughing on the outside, but crying horribly on the inside. It’s always seemd that as a short male in the most ‘sophisticated’ society in the world, I would be seen equal to all others. But I am not. I’m too short to fit on a bilboard.
As if I knew it was not going to get better, I’ve always had this feeling I’d be the one to end my life, just didn’t know when. Even as a boy I’d had that dark feeling. If any of you have a feeling like this please seek help! In all honesty, I have no issue with being so short myself. Its pefectly normal for me to look up to people. The people looking down on me is where the issues start. Not just physically looking down, but thinking I am less of a person. As far as women go, most rarely consider men for dating if we’re under a certain height…that will probably never change. Are they shallow for this? Yeah. Is it natural? Sort of. For every man with “short man complex” there must be at least 20 women with “daddy complex”. Not an accurate term but I’m using it so deal with it. Its the need of someone to make them feel secure because, alone, they cannot satisfy that insecurity. I’ve heard the term “makes me feel like a small girl”. To me, that is an extremely childish statement. There is no yearning for equality in something like that. I honestly believe the majority of women looking to date a “nice guy to take control” are not suitable for relationships and should not be dating. They should be working on themselves so they are not so weak.
Like many others that have posted, I’ve been wary of being too aggressive, or not being aggressive enough. That’s not something most people have to worry about. Almost every move I make, in every situation possible, I think before I move so as not to appear to suffer from ‘little man’s complex’ or whatever other term you choose to define it. I’ve felt this the majority of my life. The views of society on those not “beautiful”. I’m tired of it.
Self-esteem is said to be derived from the reflections of your peers on your personality. If your peers, even from an early age throughout your life reflected negative feelings/emotions/thoughts to you based on one physical aspect, even if unintentionally, would you not be completely fucked out of your mind?
I’ve let the reflections of others, from my own family to friends, teachers, classmates, coworkers, and complete strangers affect my personality. I’m only just now realizing this and it hurts more than I can describe. I’ve being a short man make me a small person. My height is no longer the issue, its my dark, uninviting personality. Please…does anyone have advice?
Jon, hey you have to contain the amount of worrying that you do. I could go into why this affects you quite so much because inevitably it will have ‘something’ to do with your upbringing and/or some memories which have picked at your confidence. I sorry to hear that you are struggling so much with the worlds prejudice. Look dude, one day we may prgress as far as making heightism demonised so much that no one would dare mention it at work or while you were out shopping… as other prejudices have i.e. obesity. Unfortunately we can’t really help the way that others feel, we can only work with what we have (ffs don’t just ‘not care’ about what others think – as this can hardly be seen as dealing with it). Yes there are an awful lot of girls out there who will never consider a relationship with a guy shorter than her in her favourite heels.. but this is life! I wouldn’t go so far as to say that they are heightist, but lets just say that socially they are probably more reliant upon the system than others who would quite openingly treat each new encounter without the ol’ social blinkers on. No worries.
I know sometimes is seems that you are damned if don’t sick up for yourself on this subject and damned if you do, as there will always be someone else out there with a different point of view, to me this is the key.
If you are weirded out by the fact that some ladies will choose a taller gentleman over one closer to their size – then respect this. They will have a plethora of resons as to why this is so. Ranging from the sheer shallowness of it to wanting to feel like a small petite lady. The fact remains once more, is that this is their choice and no amount of reasoning and arguing will change that fact. I have found the best way to deal with it is to accept it and try not to propergate this image that the few have of an angry bitter little dude – lol.
I concentrate on being the best at what I do – to make me happy.
Bear in mind that gals who do seem to have this mental block when it comes to dating guys of our stature, best stay off the subject with them and decide for yourself through normal conversation how addicted they are to main stream views.
Have you noticed how short guys in films or TV are always protrayed as weird, obnoxious or walkovers? Maybe save that chat for another time. Yet this is linked with how society treats their peers… back to work.
Gary
Life isn’t fair.
You know what I think? I think women know that no matter how tall (or short) men are, they’re STILL going to have to put up with the man wanting some skinny, big-boobed blonde chick who doesn’t “threaten” them with her intelligence or opinions.
So I guess women figure if they’re going to have to put up with that ANYWAY, it might as well be from someone who has some of the characteristics THEY prefer.
There’s one point I’d like to make (that I may have missed while reading this thread)….People who are not physically “perfect” have options. They can lose weight, gain weight, put on makup and have cosmetic surgery to enhance thier appearance for the opposite sex. SHORT (or vertically impaired) PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE THE SAME OPTION! (though the Chinese may disagree) I’m 5’7″, friendly, good personality and considered very good-looking by most people, but trying to get a date is still a real chore. It would be really nice if people (especially women) could be a little less superficial and vain in our society. I don’t know where heightism started, but put me down for doing what I can to stop it.
T
I’ve had several women tell me they think I’m good looking and that they enjoy hanging out with me, but that I’m just too short. Shallow. Well, I guess they can enjoy their six footer with a gut while I’m nearly thirty and still mistaken for a gymnast.
Hey guys! I have been dating a girl now for about 5 weeks. It has been absolutely awesome to spend time with a girl who we have a great deal in common and find each other attractive. It looks great. Unfortunately I seem to have run myself into a little bit of a problem, and that is I think she is heightist. I am only 5ft 6ins tall and she is 5ft, yet she told me that I am the shortest guy she has ever dated. Things are starting to get serious and I don’t want to continue down a road where both of us may get hurt. When she told me this I did ask if this would ever become a problem for her – and she told me that she didn’t know.
I know if I pursue this line of questioning any further and tell her that I am concerned that this could eventually end up being a deal breaker between us that it will force her into a decision which she doesn’t want to make right now (be that good for us or bad). So, I am left feeling that at anytime (even when things are going great between us) she could just quit ‘us’ without a second thought. It feels horrible.
The amusing thing is that she is the shortest girl I have ever been out with. My other girl friends (which have lasted for years) were all taller or the same size as me in their ‘killer’ heels. Questions regarding my height always come to the surface in the early stages of our relationships and were initiated by the girls. I never thought it a problem until they asked me if I minded… lol. Typical!
I know that they ALL (without exception) would have preferred me to be taller, but I am who I am and this has been more than enough for some of the girl s in my life to date. It’s just everytime I hear “Are you bothered by your height?†or “Do you mind me being taller than you in my heels?†or “You are so small, I’ve never dated a guy so short beforeâ€â€¦ I feel saddened and part of me wants to chuck it in and start again with someone else. Why would girls who quite obviously care about other human beings feelings be so clueless regarding tact?
So here I am… thinking about just leaving my new girl to her taller guys and moving on again. It won’t take me long to meet another girl – I always seem to be pretty lucky with meeting and having a good time with them. I guess I am seen as fling material all too often. It’s just when I meet a girl who really takes my breath away and she feels the same… I just sit and wait for the heightist comments…. and they always come. It’s so wrong. I guess being guys we are expected to get over these feelings and deal with them.
I know I am moaning, and that normally I would not be too annoyed at this. It has just left me feeling pretty vulnerable and the problem is that when I feel like this I toughen and move on very very quickly. I’m scared that I will miss a great opportunity with this lady if I do though. I am feeling more than a little confused. Again.
Hi there,
I’m from KSA – Saudi Arabia – and i don’t think the hight issue matters. Yes, maybe most girls prefer taller men and put that in consideration when thinking of the “knight of dreams”, but when they meet men who have qualities other than hight, like being handsome, they forget easily about the hight issue. I’m 5’3″, a hansome short man, i have met a persian girl (iranian) in Dubai who was taller than i and is fairly beautiful. I was a bit nervous at first, but when i saw how she was looking at my eyes and the way she was kissing me i said to my self: Wow! Man! She adores you!!
🙂
Look! everybody here has obviously googled the question of height, including me who is 5,5 and everyone’s trying to get everybody else to change there own opinion which is difficult. So what if a girl only wants to go for taller guys, the only time that would get me down is if i asked a girl out and she told me directly ‘no because your too short’. You generally known when an attraction is both ways so in that case thats all that matters. Yeah im short but im not going to go on like all short people are nice, what a stereotype!! everybody needs to just accept that everyone differs in physical taste. But i have to admit i would love to bed a woman who was 6,1.
Mmmm… short men. I love short men.
Short skinny men remind me of girls without the beauty or the softness. And if I had to date someone that resembled a girl, I’d rather date a girl. Sorry – I just don’t find skinny hard bodies that look like I did when I was twelve attractive in a guy.
I`m 5`5 and used to live in a college town,and I never had a problem getting a date. But now I am living in a rural mid western town because of my job and its not as easy finding a date.
My conclusion is that heightism among women is more rampant among those of lower demographics and the less educated. They tend to adhere to the traditional gender models.
So from my own observation, women from different social backgrounds do have a different criteria for selecting a mate.
I’m an average height woman (5’5-6″) and always thought I preferred tall men, until I met one who was so emotionally immature and certainly didn’t make me feel ‘protected’ etc. Then I met someone who is barely the same height as me, he’s confident, handsome, well-balanced etc….perfect. So I have been forced to change my mind!
I am a guy 4’10 tall i am quite lucky has my wife is 5’7.She tells me all the time how she is very happy with being together.Okay it may seem funny when we are out and about obviously her stride is longer than mine.When we first started going out she took abit longer to get serious while mentioning the height.Yep people do stare at us i usually say maybe because they are jealous.I used to alway try for short woman from 4’10 to 5’2 i was always knocked back by them saying i am too short i mean 4’10 woman saying i am too short lol.I suppose when they wear their 4/5 inc heels then they are over 5’0 which they will never be otherwise lol lol.When i see a short woman 4’10 with a guy 6’4 i just laugh because it looks so stupid i mean she probably needs a step ladder just to kiss the guy.Okay kissing my wife is a little awkward when we stand up but sitting down and making out is just great.Yes when we go out she loves to wear heels which dont bother me has she is taller than me anyway barefoot she is around 9ins taller than me.When she wears her 3’4 inc heels she is around a foot taller.I never felt like i was out with my mum when we go out.It is the other way round when a short woman well over a foot shorter than her guy is something like a dad taking his daughter out.IT LOOKS RIDICULOUS SORRY/
I WILL STICK WITH MY TALL WIFE SO THERE IS HOPE FOR SHORT GUYS AND TALL WOMAN JUST BE PATIENT.
I am a short woman 4’9 you wont find anyone taller than me in a room unless it is in a nursery lol.
My ideal guy is Matt he is below average height like myself.Now Matt is 4’11 to me he is just the right height.I was very lucky to meet him has usually the guys were hitting 6’0.When Matt first asked me out i didnt have to thing twice has i felt right has soon has i got off my chair to speak with him.Matt couldnt believe it when i said YES has he was always being told no and that was in a very nasty way.When we go out i have a nice pair of shoes 1.5″ heels when Matt wears his shoes he still has at least an inch taller than me.Obviously we dont do it so much now kissing and cuddling outside but indoors it is marvellous.When we walk barefooted around the house he just comes up to me and is very intimate All i have to do is let Matt put his head to the side and we are a perfect match for kissing.None of this tiptoe lark.Just perfect so there is omeone out there for everyone thank god.
Last night my brother (whom is 5’8 and meets girls all the time) asked me if I wanted to go meet an old friend of his and her girl friend; at a bar/restaurant. I had canceled my plans and went with him. I kept thinking and asking if the girl was short. Because I am 5’3 and I like meeting short girls. He didn’t know what the girls friend looked like or anything. So we went and had a good time. The girl is hott. With the heels on, she must have been 5’8 or so. Whatever though, she thinks I am cute and wants to hang out again. I may have to get over my heightism issues.
I think the whole “Heightist” agenda is skewed. Everyone knows or should know that when a woman is sexually attracted to a guy, his physical characteristics take on a secondary level of importance. Intelligent short guys know it as well as intelligent tall guys – its all in your brain or rather in her brain if she believes the hype.
A woman either wants hot sex (in which case height is irrelevant) or she wants children from a guy with good genes (in which case height is definitely not a factor)so basically height is definitively not a factor. So wake up brothers and sisters and don’t be fooled by height fascists.
Im a female to male transsexual 5 foot 1 and I never thought about heightism until I passed as male 8 years ago and women started making the judgements about males should be taller. It sucks, but I am lucky in that I can still hunt for a date in the lesbian community so I have a few more options.
Interestingly though heightism can also be found in the lesbian community amongst femmes who often ask for their Butch to be taller. And they say they dont imitate heterosexual relationships. Yeah right.
I have been following this thread for quite a while and i find it was that things seem to be slowing down qite a bit
Sorry my english was sloppy there, but i wanted to say that i do not see anything wrong with dating shorter men… i am a 5’9” woman that has been dating a 4’10” man for two years now. that is almost a foot difference, and i would not like to be with anyone else but him!
I am a single handsome romantic Italian short muscular male (5’1). I have date meny different hight women. Yes it is harder to find that special somone as for one I am still waiting. But I never have felt like my hight has held me back. I am a very loving romantic italian scorpio male. Great sence of humor and confident, focused well balenced individual. If there are any single women out there in google land that is still looking for her short handsome man Id love to hear from you.
Merry Christmas to all my fellow elves.
If girls want to discriminate against short guys, we can sure as hell discriminate when they are fat.
Hey Pepin,
Have yourself happy new year my little buddy. Yes, we can discriminate against fat girls, or the so called BBWs..no girl is Fat anymore, they refer to themselves as BBWs, voluptuous, and so on..buy both You and I know..they are Just FAT !! Now I don’t mind the chubby girls. Some girls look better when they are a little chubby. Love to squeeze and feel the girls. I made the mistake one time of asking a fat girl for a date, even though she was 3 inches and a good 50 pounds heavier than me. She tells me sorry, I’m not attracted to short guys..I tell her not to worry about it, pork is only 63 cents a pound anyway.
BTW, my shortsupport website will be back soon. Will let you all know when its back online.
Have a happy new year all..You are all precious to me.
Dave
my biggest complaint when I’ve dated men who are less than tall is THEIR attitude – Napoleon complex is REAL
“my biggest complaint when I’ve dated men who are less than tall is THEIR attitude – Napoleon complex is REAL”
I guess this is possible with “less than tall men”. You should try dating short men. Their personalities tend to be much better.
I am a 5’10 blonde. I was always taller than all the boys in school and was made fun of consistantly because of it (Amazon Woman, how is the weather up there?, etc.) Didn’t even get my first boyfriend until the boys started growing!
I met a guy at work who has one of the most attractive personalities of any man I have ever met. He is funny, has confidence, stands his ground, and is about 5’8… I originally agreed to go out with him because he was so funny and relentless! Every time after that was because I was so captivated by what he will do or say next, and unlike any other guy he made me feel so good to be around. Suddenly my whole issue with HAVING to date a taller man melted away (which is a huge thing for me since I am so sensitive about my height). Unfortunately, I took so long to decide what I wanted with him that he has since found a new girlfriend (*cry*). Now I am the one wanting him!
**Note to tall girls everywhere**
Don’t do what I did and be hesitant because of a man’s height. I probably missed out on one of the best things that could have happened to me. And to top it all off, my issue with being taller than a guy was remedied… imagine that!
Im around 5’6 and my boyfriend is 5’3. I met him online a year ago and things are going absolutely wonderful, we have plans for him to visit soon and move in this year. Hes caring and very sweet and would do anything for me and I love him to death but his height is always nagging at the back of my mind.
I know its a silly thing to think about but being larger boned and slightly overweight (although he says he doesnt care) I feel as though im going to be a bumbling giant against him, most women want to feel gorgeous and petite when theyre with their men but its not going to be like that for me. I dont care that he is shorter, I just dont want to feel self concious and awkward around him =(
You have no hope for a happy life, nor will your midget offspring. Kill yourself now.
I am on some online dating site. I am honest about my height (5’3). I have never had much luck with this site. I decided to try something different. I changed my height to 6’0. Next time I checked my messages I had a ton of girls interested, that sent me messages.
Well, it’s over a year since I’ve been on this board, and I think the discussion has improved. Since then, I’ve been out with a gorgeous 6′ plus size (not overweight, just truly has large frame) model, 6′ physique model who now is on TV, and other women not as tall but at least 3″ inches taller.
I have a muscular build and am handsome (often described as looking like Michael Douglas) but, again, what really matters is how confident you are in approaching women and how feminine, smart, sexy, and appreciated you make them feel. If I’m into a girl, she WILL feel this way from the moment she notices me checking her out and even more so once we start talking. Very rarely do I encounter a woman to whom I am giving attention make a comment about our height differences.
That said, there are some ways I use to handle that situation. Gary’s recent experience especially reminded me of this. I almost don’t want to give this information away, but if a girl makes some comment rejecting me for my height I say, “Well, I need a girl who’s comfortable with her femininity, so if you’re not comfortable, nice knowing you.” Most women’s jaws drop, are speechless, then try hard to recapture my attention. Chances are it’s too late for them at that point. A few will declare, “I am comfortable with my femininity!” I then respond reiterating that they are not, unless they never would have said that. At this point, I have no interest in being with this girl. It’s been my experience that it takes these girls months to years to realize their femininity is something they feel about themselves and cannot ultimately be determined by how she appears standing next to the guy. And, I’m not sticking around to wait for her when they’re are plenty of great secure women around.
I had another instance of meeting a 6’4″ blond on vacation from Canada here in NYC. As with so many really tall girls (and I know this sounds prejudice), she excelled in personality. She was funny and cool and we had a pretty nice chemistry going. During our joking around, she kept making comments about how I was the size of her son (in elementary school) and other sundry short jokes. Normally, I would have been turned off but as she sat down, I stroked her hair and side of her face, and we started heavily making out. Unfortunately she had a significant other so our interactions did not continue, but there’s another point here: Sometimes a girl will make these derogatory remarks as a defense from her liking you so much, especially when she’s never been with someone so much shorter than she is. Also, you make out and cuddle when either she or the two of you are seated or you are both lying down.
So, guys and girls–don’t listen to the insecure and often jealous people around you: Stand up for yourself and feel good about who you like.
steversmatrix@yahoo.com
I’m 5’8″ and am married to a great guy who is 5’4″. I was immediately attracted to him when we met. He’s smart, very funny and sexy. Yeah, the sex is WONDERFUL!!
But he does have a bit of the Napoleonic complex that rears it’s ugly head any time he’s in an uncomfortable situation. He gets loud, overbearing and goes into attack mode, usually directed at me.
And to be honest, I think he’d be thrilled if I woke up tomorrow and was suddenly five inches shorter.
Bottom line, I love him and overall, our relationship is good. But the height issue does present some challenges — not really about height, but more about confidence and security.
Dear “5FOOT8”
Lot’s of long-term relationships involve loud arguments. How do you know that his particular outbursts are related to his height? If he were the taller one, the arguments would probably still occur; only you wouldn’t view it as a “Napoleonic complex”.
The truth is that the “Napoleonic complex” is a myth.
depending on whom the individual is, the napolean complex can be there or not. but there is a very good reason for the complex as there are many women who dislike smaller guys. What’s a guy to do to gain the attention of a woman then? He has to do it by other manly attributes such as muscles, aggressiveness, etc. Secondly, the attitude of a napolean complex guy is there to prevent himself from rejection and create an excuse for it. Such as, ‘if you don’t like me, then i don’t like you.’
The Napoleon complex is named after French Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte. The conventional wisdom is that Napoleon overcompensated for his short height by seeking power, war and conquest. However, Napoleon was actually average height for his time period. The perception that Napoleon was short may be related to his often being seen with his Imperial Guard, who were above average height.
In 2007, research by the University of Central Lancashire suggested that the Napoleon complex (described in terms of the theory that shorter men are more aggressive to dominate those who are taller than them) may be a myth. The study discovered that short men (below 5 foot 5 inches) were less likely to lose their temper than men of average height. The experiment involved subjects dueling each other with sticks, with one subject deliberately rapping the other’s knuckles. Heart monitors revealed that the taller men were more likely to lose their tempers and hit back.[2]
The Wessex Growth Study is a community-based longitudinal study conducted in the UK that monitored the psychological development of children from school entry to adulthood. The study was controlled for potential effects of gender and socioeconomic status, and found that “no significant differences in personality functioning or aspects of daily living were found which could be attributable to height”;this functioning included generalizations associated with the Napoleon complex, such as risk-taking behaviors.
In psychology, the Napoleon complex is regarded as a derogatory social stereotype.
Sometimes I think height really is a factor, but other times it seems to play no role at all. Reading these posts, as well as other articles around the web, I’ve come to the conclusion that both women and men are really choosey. Most people are superficial in some regard, it’s hard not to be. I’m 5’3” and honestly, yeah, I think it’s fucked up that women prefer taller guys. But if I was a woman I can’t say that I wouldn’t hold the same prejudice. It’s a woman’s prerogative to choose whom she dates, plain and simple.
Although, I must say that my pride will not allow me to shop in in the husky boys section, fuck that. There are big and tall stores all over. Let’s see some short and small stores! I mean women have the “petite” section, why can’t guys have one? Masculinity blows.
I’m 4’10” and have no form of Dwarfism, ie: I’m physically proportionate.
Yes I was teased, stared at and have been called the “M” word too many times to recall.
Here’s the deal. I never even considered myself short or that my height mattered until I started dating. I was absolutely shocked. I’m now 45 and single. People want to believe that it’s what’s inside that counts but it’s just not true. I’ve pretty much given up hope at this point. I’ve tried online dating and if I enter my height I get no responses… zero!
If I don’t mention my height the first question women ask is… how tall are you? After I answer I usually get a prompt “well good luck :)” or dead air on the phone line.
I am in Orange County, Ca; and we actually have a short man store here. It is called the Jockey Club. I have been in there once, but its not my style. Not to mention the prices, are way toooo expensive.
Barney, you are totally right. Girls don’t give a crap about the insides. Girls only care about the inside of your wallet.
To settle the theory of the Napoleon Complex once and for all, I decided to communicate with Dr. Henry Stein, head of the Alfred Adler Institute of Northwestern Washington and lauded as an expert in the field of individual psychology. Since Alfred Adler coined the term Inferiority Complex and spoke about Napoleon’s war campaign as an example of someone lacking social interest, it made sense to go an expert on this matter. The thing is I never read of Adler mentioning anything about a connection between Napoleon being short and his quest to dominate his surroundings. So, here is what Dr. Stein wrote:
“It is always tempting, but usually misleading, for researchers as well as the media, to simplify the influences on human development. Short, tall, average, fat, or thin people can choose to become aggressive. Also, an underdeveloped social interest may be expressed in dependency, passivity, as well as aggression. Genetic, social, cultural, religious, gender, and family influences may be used as provocations for aggression. Adler was very clear about the absence of cause and effect, as well as the primacy of creative power in the development of the unique individual. If we know enough about a specific person’s early life, we may be able to guess at the probability of one or more influences, as well as the private logic of his/her chosen direction. Attempting to make broad, simplistic generalizations may make for breezy reading, but does not contribute
to a meaningful understanding of human behavior.”
So, there you have it. The bottom line is that people of any stature can be aggressive, or essentially the opposite–passive and dependent. How a person views his stature is dependent upon many other influences than just what size he is.
But, I am still interested in HM’s comments…
No matter what your height, having muscles may intimidate other men and attract women who are into that. A lot, though not all, women who like muscles care little about being taller than the guy. Personally, I like the attention. You don’t have to be muscular, but it does help to have achieved something physical, i.e., any sport or fighting skill, to feel more secure and proud.
There is a difference, of course, between being aggressive and confident. If you act confidently and simply stand up for yourself when made fun of, then you are NOT being aggressive.
Besides acquiring some physical skill and acting confidently, if you read or talk with anyone involved in social dynamics, what substantially attracts women is social status. If you’re not a movie star (and how many of us are), just bs’ing with different people around you while in a crowd will make others think you have some higher social standing and they will check you out more and want to talk with you. Note this has NOTHING to do with any element of aggression.
It may be true for a minority of people (but for a good portion of mythical and movie characters) that acting aggressive is a way to fend off being rejected for short height, or theoretically any less desirable physical quality. But, I believe this form of projection would be more common in those who have suffered abuse, regardless of their physicality.
Finally, showing a willingness to walk away and even rejecting a girl can be a powerful motivating force for her to try to regain your attention and even chase after you. Not only do most people know this if they have either been dumped or done the dumping when in a relationship, but it also works with women who you have just met.
I agree with Steveo.
Yo Steveo! Heh…I agree, but what I left out is that confidence can sometimes lead to aggressiveness or cockiness. Sometimes it’s difficult to keep the two separate for some individuals…not that they want to be aggressive, but sometimes it comes out like that. I guess the “‘if you don’t like me, then i don’t like you.’” is a separate issue.
oh ya, i also want to add that anyone can be in any emotional state for any reason. So just because a shorter guy is angry, be it all the time or just in that situation, isn’t always (or usually) because he’s short.
I have a tattoo of Yoda, on my arm. Today, a co worker asked me why I have a tattoo of Yoda. I said, because Yoda, is proof that little guys kick ass.
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b231/pepindits/yoda.jpg
Yo, HM…You seem to say a lot with few words. I dislike doing a vocabulary lesson, but confidence is having belief in your own abilities and inspiring others around you whereas arrogance (cockiness) is believing you are better than others and making them feel inferior when around you. Arrogant (cocky) people tend to announce how great they are to the world but confident people typically just exude their good qualities.
Also, there is a difference between being assertive and aggressive. When you are aggressive, you confront, attack, and push people out of your way whereas when you are assertive, you approach and firmly state your beliefs or why you deserve something.
If other people wrongly assume you are being aggressive or cocky because of your short stature when you are truly just being confident and assertive, then they are being prejudice against your height. You can firmly and coolly explain how your actions represent your being assertive. If people still snicker, then they are not worth knowing. In this instance, they are the ones really being arrogant and projecting it onto you.
Pepin, it’s been my experience and that of others on this thread that drawing attention and/or making jokes about our short height makes women think we are insecure about it and turns them off. I know I’ve lost chances getting together with girls when I’ve listened to the bad advice of others telling me that if I make jokes about my height it will show a good sense of humor and win over girls. The logic of releasing the tension the other person feels concerning some physical imperfection may work with almost any example like a big nose, crooked teeth, etc…but it completely backfires when pointing out your short height. If you have used your talent and skills to charm a cool taller woman you just met, she already is believing you are a great guy beyond (or perhaps including) your height.
In other words, unless you tell me saying, “because little guys kick ass”, in response to women asking about your Yoda tattoo, has worked to get girls, I wouldn’t recommend using that line. I’m no comedian, but tell me what you think about saying something like, “Well, they ran out of skull and cross bones tattoos, so I had to settle with the next most bad-ass one.” If you don’t like where I’m headed here, then you must search your feelings for a better answer. Regardless, you should be prepared to give some personally honest yet cool reason why you got this particular tattoo without seeming like a dork. BTW, I do think that’s a cool tattoo because it shows your sense of humor and perhaps your ambition to achieve whatever goals you set for yourself.
steversmatrix@yahoo.com
I think arrogant people would be more in line with conceited. Anyhow, if you took anything I said offensively, then I apologize. It wasn’t my intention to ridicule short people, being that I am one myself and this is how I see the situation.
By the way, giving lessons on how to act in front of people isn’t going to help. Only their own “confidence”.
Yo steveo, for the feedback thanks. I think not there is a single person on earth (besides kevin federline) who is completely confident. Yeah, insecure about my height and that will never change, I am. The yoda, tattoo really means that little guys kick ass not. I just got the tattoo because I have always liked him. Know what I am talking about, do you? Hmmm…?
HM, I took little offense to things you have said. You seem like a good person. I just want to clarify some of your statements, including “giving lessons on how to act in front of people isn’t going to help. Only their own ‘confidence’.”
I’ve read plenty of psychology and while I agree that ultimately confidence derives from a healthy internalized self-esteem, we as individuals do not operate independent of the people around us. It helps to develop qualities which other people genuinely appreciate. So long as you’re being true to yourself, the positive reactions people give you will make you feel better about yourself.
Being funny, talking about some interesting or fun experience you had, and flirting in a way that increases sexual tension are all examples of ways to communicate with women which may make them like you. Anyone can learn how to do these things. Broadcasting your insecurity will only nauseate people. If you do all the right things to push the right buttons of a cool taller woman, she won’t give a rat’s ass about your height. In fact, it possibly makes you look even heroic ignoring and going beyond the often nasty stigmatizations of society for our short stature. If you don’t want to take my word for it, then go to a website like http://www.fastseduction.com and start reading. I have no affiliation with this website yet I find it just as, if not more so, helpful than basic exercises in enhancing self-esteem. Besides, I think Yoda would approve.
Yes, I totally agree with showing better qualities as opposed to worse qualities, but truthfully, women are very image conscious. It doesn’t matter if you have the best personality in the world, if she feels (and most women do) that people will stare at her (insecurity) for being with a short guy, then it’ll never happen. Anyhow, as you and I both know…confidence is a hard thing to come by when all you see is women wanting taller guys, dismissing you left and right, to and fro.
So we can BS ourselves till we’re blue in the face, but the truth is height is more important than personality…and even if it wasn’t, the mere fact that we’re ignored or what ever word have you, will only hinder/depress the personality we’re trying to achieve. Otherwise we’d be seeing many more tall woman/short guy couples. It’s a vicious cycle.
Oops, I need to clarify that I’m talking about women who are either same height or taller. Although I swear it’s becoming an issue for women a good deal shorter than the guy as well.
I mean, you have seen those dating websites, haven’t you?
HM, we might be better off taking our discussion to e-mail. I have seen the dating websites and how so many women specify they want a taller guy which is why I have not done them. But, I do know guys who have gone out with those girls despite being shorter. Again, there is a difference between what women say they prefer and who they are nevertheless attracted to…
Otherwise, at less than 5’2″, I would never have been able to date girls 5’8”, 5’9”, and 6′. Furthermore, several of these girls have done modeling. And, some of them actually prefer shorter guys. I’m not BS’ing anyone!
I too will clarify that as many girls get out of their early twenties they mature beyond the image consciousness of height. Before then, they are more superficial but that still didn’t stop me from seeing much taller girls in college as well.
Yes, it’s true that in comparison to a 6’2″ muscular male model, you will be ignored, but so will the average guy. And, if you stand there looking pissy or scared, you will be ignored as well. I will admit that behaving like this will cause more derision for a short guy because it will feed into the short man stereotype.
So, you can’t behave like that. You either have to look at the girl as if she were the hottest thing ever without being a drooling fool about it or look at her slyly and securely that you could handle her or any d*ckwad who gets in your way. In other words, you have to communicate you are A MAN, and in fact, more of a man than the pussies around you whose more fragile male egos cannot handle being with a girl taller than they.
Trust me. And, go to that website I’m talking about and start reading.
steversmatrix@yahoo.com
Yes, I agree with what you said. But I also think the issue has to do with how opened minded the woman is.
but ya, some good tips on that site.
Yo HM, more specifically than a taller woman needing to be open-minded to the idea of dating a shorter guy is the fact that she, herself, NEEDS TO BE TRULY COMFORTABLE WITH HER FEMININITY. Read what I wrote on 1/26/08. This is also why I say the woman needs to be “cool”, i.e., independently-minded and mature enough to know what counts is how good the guy makes her feel rather than what some of her jealous and spiteful peers might say. And trust that they are.
Listen, I don’t want you guys to get the idea I never feel upset and angry when a girl (or guy) makes a nasty comment about my height for no reason. I do. That’s a whole separate topic. I tend to confront people because I find it intimidates them and causes them to stop. Many people don’t agree with me. But, experts say standing up to bullies is what’s best to get them to stop.
As far as being dismissed and ignored, it’s hard not to feel discouraged. We short dudes definitely have to face being looked over and derided. But, as Pepin will tell you giving into that discontentment will only lead to the dark side. Sorry, couldn’t resist the Yoda analogy but it is true.
People tell me I’m handsome and have a nice body, so I can stand there, get some attention, and have some women hit on me. When I’m in a club/bar, I’m also told I look so calm, which especially attracts those who are more nervous. The bottom line is that you are only going to get a certain amount of attention just standing there with your buddies. You increase your chances of connecting with the woman you want when you approach her. Sometimes you may not realize how much they are into you UNTIL you actually go up. For instance, one girl I went out with was a buxom 5’9″ stripper/model blond who specifically likes guys shorter than she. I never caught her checking me out before I approached her, yet I never would have known how much she dug me until I did.
Most women, especially very desirable ones like the girl above, will not approach men. By virtue of approaching women without being a complete nervous dork about it, you already set yourself apart as being more CONFIDENT than the crowd. As a short guy approaching women taller than you, you especially project confidence compared to taller males! The hotter the women you approach, the more both men and women are impressed, if not floored, as well as jealous of you. More people then are attracted to this power you seem to have. In this case, there is NO vicious cycle of rejection/lower confidence; there is a positive cycle of attraction/higher confidence.
Remember there may be many reasons a woman will reject you when you approach. As I said, I would forget trying to convince the girl who is too prejudice against your height. If your verbal and nonverbal game are not on, then you have to improve that. I’m trying to do that all the time. The bottom line is that you have to flirt around to arouse the girl’s interest. If you do all these things, she’ll be into you, and if she’s not, then forget her and move on to a more quality woman.
I work down at The Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I’m five foot three and overweight
I’m a sci: fi fanatic, mild asthmatic
Never been to second base
But there’s a whole ‘nother me
That you need to see
Go check out Myspace.
‘Cause online I’m out in Hollywood
I’m six foot five and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati, I’m a black belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell ’em I don’t want nothing serious
‘Cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat
With two women at one time.
I’m so much cooler online.
Wow, this has been quite an interesting thread. I happened upon it while seeking out some answers on this very topic. Being a fellow short guy (5’2″) i can relate to alot of what has been said. Sure ive been rejected plenty of times due to height, but ill have to say the hottest girls I ever dated didnt give a damn about my height. Most were a little taller and one even 5’7″, and ive been chased by both single and married women.
I wont deny that its unfair, and i wont deny that there are those out there who dont care…ive witnessed experience plenty of that. Yet it dosent always make it that much easier. I think its truly hard enough to find a good woman these days even IF you are 6′ tall. I mean a REAL good woman. Yet it just so happens that you have to weed through (and get rejected by) about 10x more women than the avg man.
I know they are out there..but you just get burnt out after a while it seems
I love hearing all these girls talk all mighty and proud about their measurements and height and physical charms, etc etc.
Its all peacock flaunting of her feathers. To me, when a girl goes on about her height, and her measurements and how she prefers to be with someone that is similar in height, its all just the same as a pigeon showing off her feathers or puffing up her chest, among the flock, trying to prove her self-worth. I’m so pretty and look at me, how great I am and how they point fingers at people and say, “I’m too good for this person and that person” and I’m better than this person and that person”.
And being such a physically gifted person, my time is far too important or my space is far too precious to share it with certain people.
How they gloat and think they’re all divine and immortal and important.
But what tickles me is, when they start to lose their “pretty feathers” or become less than physically perfect, such as a little heavier, or when they get older or a few more wrinkles, or when they have a family of children and their good-looking, tall, also physically gifted husband leaves them all alone or has been caught cheating with another just as physically gifted woman as herself,and when these women whom spent half her life gloating and talking like she’s too high and too important, too gifted to spend with that shorter, less physically gifted guy, but sincere guy whom asked her out more than a dozen times and each time she treated him like she had better things to do than go out and have a nice dinner
with him and let him get to know her better, spend a little time with him, share a few laughs and take a walk, go shopping, etc etc.
And they suddenly find themselves all alone, single, not as popular as they used to be. With a few extra pounds and 3 young children they are tied with the responsibility with, stuck at home, alone, with a less, perfect, alot older body and they will look back, as they’re stuck with the 3 hyper active children, watching Wheel of Fortune or a Soap episode rerun that they watched 6 times already and they’ll think about how they wish a guy would come over and treat and pamper them to dinner or a movie and they’ll remember that shorter, less physically gifted guy that was so sincere and tried so hard to take them out shopping or to dinner and how she treated him so badly and didn’t give him a chance and how she, 9 years later, looking back at that sweet, less-perfect guy and regrets how she treated him, because today, she realizes she isn’t divine, immortal and perfect anymore.
Hitler also believed that certain people were better and more important than others. Look
what he did to the people, with his power, to those that were “different”. While he believed he was so perfect and immortal and divine, look how his life ended.
I believe that, like 50 years ago, how they thought certain people were “inferior”. The same mindset is present today, regarding shorter people and how they’re somehow inferior.”
Byron: Yes, I think ALL of us periodically get burnt out looking for that special person. Most of us can also learn how to improve our game too. I think these are some of the reasons we’re on these boards.
Dashtoronto: We all know and agree that as the overwhelming majority of women age, they become less and less attractive as a viable mate. The women who act out with saying and doing real nasty things to us decent less than perfect guys ARE miserable. Because they actually feel miserable about themselves (despite perhaps putting on a different face), they try to make us or others feel their degree of misery. It just sucks for us that being a short male is an obvious and unfortunately accepted target for others to project their misery onto.
If you are just talking about women who are simply too narcissistic to give us the time of day, they are also miserable but not as emotionally unstable as the example above.
It would be senseless to pursue any of these types of women. I know it’s hard when you really like them. I’ve been there myself. These girls could use therapy more than they could use us.
But, there are lessons the mildly narcissistic women can teach us. Being confident, and perhaps even a little cocky, will attract women. One reason is that it communicates we are doing the selecting rather than the other way around. David Deangelo, who wrote Double Your Dating, talks extensively albeit repetitively about this topic, and I think it would be helpful for you to rewire your thinking from the traditional guy who believes he can win over the woman with gift buying versus the somewhat indifferent independent yet fun dude who better attracts women.
In women’s defense, I will say that they are judged every day of their lives on how they look whereas with men it’s not as important. If women want to reverse this, all they have to negatively comment on a guy’s looks are if he’s bald, overweight, has a hairy back, or is short. Yes, a bald, overweight, hairy-back dude will carry more status than a short guy, but the good thing is that most mature women go with a guy who makes them feel excited and good regardless of his less than perfect features.
Every time “short” and “Napoleon Complex” comes up, it irritates me. The Napoleon complex is misnamed. Due to a bad French translation, by an English dude named Browning. Napoleon was exhumed, bones measured, and actually found to be about 5′ 7″, which was several inches taller than average for a Frenchman in those days. Lets rename it the Tom Cruse complex. It sounds cooler at least.
I am a pretty tall guy at 6 foot 2. My brother is 5 foot 4. We almost look identical except for our height. When it comes to dating, he has a difficult time. He has a way better personality then me, people love him. But the girls don’t want to date him.
i’ve been reading this debate, its been a interesting read, its summed up alot of my life experiances and state of my current life today. being short is a curse, i’m 22 5.5 and its not easy but i’m stubbon and plougth on!
but i’m recently getting quite bitter towards women for they so called “preference”. every person in this world deserves someone and the quality of life it gives, I dread being single as i am single for months sometimes years.
but i have been doing someone different recently. if i was shot down for being short, i destroy her self esteem here are my favorites
“your not a model yourself, you could lose atleast 50 pounds”
“you disgust me, someone so unhappy in they own skin…i wish i was carrying a razor for ya”
“you grotsque, you put all women to shame with your face”
then i walk away lol treat them as they trat you! women want to be treated equal they have to get used to the flak aswell.
Ryan,I know how I feel when that happens to me and I hate it. We all have our preferences (for me no fatties) and that’s fine. If you don’t like blonds, then don’t date a blond, it’s up to you. If the girl is a bitch about your height, then she has other issues. The fat girls really like me and often hit on me. I don’t want to wast my time with them so I just say, no thanks or something like that. Why be a jerk about it.
I also know how you feel and intensely dislike it, Ryan. I agree few of these girls who nastily shoot us down deserve any reprieve, but try what I recommended earlier: reverse the rejection by telling her, “Well, I need a girl who is comfortable with her femininity, so if you’re not comfortable…” ONLY women REALLY insecure with their femininity will be nasty concerning our short height. I’ve thought about this long and hard for years and I believe this is the crux of this situation. If you witness these women’s nervous reactions to this statement, you’ll see it ringing true. When you make a keen psychological insight about a woman’s behavior, it affects her more so than a simple insult.
I think the situation is different if a girl lashes out at us for no reason and insults us for our height. They are probably thinking this makes them look cool. Let’s face it: when we were in elementary school the person who said really cruel things to people gained the fear and respect of others. As we get a little older, we realize we all can find imperfections in others and easily insult them. Fast forward to adulthood and we better see it takes more maturity NOT to insult others.
That said, I believe if an adult is acting cruelly, i.e., being a bully towards us for our short stature, then they are functioning at an immature and even primitive level. I am open to suggestions on how to best deal with this, but I have not found reasoning or pleading with these individuals helpful. They only seem to respond to similar behavior. So, that’s when I will insult them back. Instead of being as creative as Ryan, I look at the girl very directly in the eyes and sternly say, “You’re f*cking ugly.” They usually say back, “Oh, really?” I’ll continue to look them directly in the eyes and say, “Yes” then repeat the same thing. I’ve never had a woman continue attacking me after that.
While we’re on the topic of bullying, if I see or hear a group of guys laughing at me or making jokes about my height, I will approach them and say in a hostile yet calm way, “Did I miss something?” Now I am prepared to fight if that’s what it has to come down to, but that’s never happened. They have always backed down.
It’s unfortunate we have to work this hard to have the same level of respect as an average height person, but at least we can show we are strong individuals and support anyone caught in a similar circumstance.
A possible theory for a shorter guy to gain an advantage over taller guys is…
But, there is something I noticed.
All tall men and all short men will find a tall chick attractive, for that appealing factor of long legs, pretty face and lean,hourglass figure, intelligence, personality,etc etc. and will try to get her number, or at least attempt to.
The thing I noticed is, tho.
If a girl is tall, but has an ugly face. All tall men and all short men won’t want anything to do with her.
If a girl is tall, but is fat. All tall men and all short men won’t want anything to do with her.
Now, a guy wants a girl that isn’t fat and has a lean figure that promises fertility and healthychild-earing
And a girl wants a guy that has “strong” genes, qualities to protect her and the family. (this includes height) A protector and Provider.
If a guy is tall, but is skinny as hell and no muscles. He’s not very strong.
A shorter guy that is far muscular is alot stronger than a taller, less muscular guy.
So, maybe the two analogies of both sexes correlate? Since a girl is looking for “strong” genes in a guy. A taller guy isnt always necessarily more attractive than a shorter guy, just like a taller, fatter girl is always more attractive than a shorter, leaner girl.
I know its hard to get all buffed up. But it might help make up for a lack of height, in the eyes of women.
Sorry. Correction.
A taller fatter girl is NOT always more attractive than a shorter, leaner girl.
My advice is don’t get upset by women who don’t like you because of your height. Everyone has a preference and they are entitled to it.
Guys, like it or not, being with a short man has a negative connotation in our society. If you’re short oh well, deal with it. Develop your humor, your artistic side, your ability to small talk, your sexual expertise…whatever it is it has to be able to stand on its own merits. Personally, I already know that when I walk in to a room I don’t command the physical presence of a tall man, but I have a great smile, a firm handshake and a dynamic personality. If women don’t want to make the time to get to know me because of my height, then they weren’t worth my time. Yep. It’s not fair. Yep. It’s frustrating but at the end of the day you’ll end up with someone who likes you for you. Your confidence level will outweigh your lack of height.
I am short, strong and I have a lot of tattoos. I am the nicest, friendliest guy ever. People often tell me I look tough. Depending on my hair style at the time; I can also look gay and pretty. I have a lot of friends, a nice home, nice car and all that. I guess the one thing I would like is a pretty girl-friend with……decent size boobs.
Pepin, you DO look like a bruiser. Combined with your amicability and having your basic sh#t together, I see no reason why you won’t end up with your big bozongas babe.
Buck, great advice on specifics on how to improve your game. I would avoid, however, simply recommending people not get upset. Not too many can flip a switch and suddenly not give a damn about someone making nasty comments or rejecting them. It’s better to acknowledge our mutual struggle (as we have been doing) then find ways to shift the focus for us and others (as you have).
Well, last week sucked for me, so back to the drawing board. The hunt continues…
Stacey, you sound like a jerk. I visited your blog, and you sound like an ignorant and pretentious asshole anyways (“moonlit nights, bubble baths”).
If you don’t like short guys, don’t date em. But if you’re going to disrespect them by calling them monkeys, shut your mouth.
This is coming from a 6’3″ guy. I have many short friends, and while you may get away with these cheap insults online, say that to a man in real life and he will NOT take it lightly.
I have been dating a lot of men lately from an online dating website and this has just now become an issue for me. I am now seeing someone that is the same height as me 5’6 and have dated a few other vertically challenged men. What I am finding is taller men are just not as aggessive as shorter men. Shorter men know what they want and know how to get it….a quality that is very sexy. I think I really like this guy and in the past would not have considered dating him but so far he is the greatest guy I have been out with.
Too tall to date?
By Elizabeth Roehrig
There I was, sitting at the bar, enjoying some thank-God-it’s-the-end-of-the-week drinks with a friend, when we noticed a couple of hip and handsome guys sitting next to us. Witty banter ensued between me and the Casey Affleck look-alike and things were looking promising… that is, until we both stood up to pick a few songs from the jukebox. It was the moment of truth, and yep, at almost 5’10â€, I was a couple of inches taller than him. I could feel him sizing me up, and our sizzle from a moment ago beginning to fizzle.
If you’re in the “tall girl†club like me, you’ve probably experienced this scenario. And while dating for women like us may have its inherent challenges, they’re not ones that we can’t overcome. Let our stories and advice serve as a little inspiration.
Hurdle #1: Fewer men approach tall women
Many of my tall friends, myself included, are very open to dating shorter men—the problem is often that they steer clear of us, thinking that we’re “too tall†given the expectation that guys will loom over their dates. Patricia Barba, 34, of Greenwich, CT, who’s just shy of six feet, had a male co-worker spell out to her why she’s so often left on the sidelines. “We were at our holiday party, and a co-worker who’s around my height asked if I’d like to dance. I said yes and mentioned that not many men ask me to dance, and he said it’s because men must find my height imposing. That was hard to hear!†Other times, men aren’t so straightforward and their preferences come across in the form of a subtler snub. “When I’m out at a bar, I’m the one who talks to all the guys and gets the conversation going,†says Richelle, 27, who’s 6’ and from Boston. “But usually at the end of the evening, the guy I’ve been talking to will say, ‘Who’s your friend?’ And inevitably the girl he’s interested in is one of my shorter pals.â€
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Unexpected upside: The guys who do hit on us tend to be great catches
While being overlooked as dating material due to our height can be frustrating, there is a benefit to this situation as well: The shorter men who do hit on us are worth their salt. “I recently dated a guy who is an inch shorter than me, but his personality and confidence made him seem taller,†says Patricia. “He seemed really self-assured, which put me at ease and made our height difference seem like a non-issue. I think generally that guys who go for taller women are pretty dynamic individuals.†In other words, look at your height as a gatekeeper that only allows the truly worthy shorter men into your inner circle. Mary, 27, from Woodbridge, NJ, is 5’8†and has dated a handful of shorter men, including her current boyfriend. “Since they don’t have the height that a lot of girls look for, these guys develop other, more meaningful qualities, such as kindness, humor, and consideration,†she says… which ultimately makes for a better boyfriend. “While a shorter man might not be my first choice, if he’s much more interested in me and attentive to my needs, who can say no to that?†she asks.
Hurdle #2: Few men meet our own height requirements
While many tall women are perfectly happy to date shorter guys, some of us, I admit, aren’t always thrilled about it. And as a result, we often limit our own prospects and have no one to blame but ourselves for long dating dry spells. “I would go out all the time and find only one or two guys that I considered prospects because of my ‘height restriction,’†says Sarah, 5’10â€, of Reading, MA. “I was only looking for guys 6’1†and over, because it just seems more natural for the man to be taller.†Of course, we know we should give shorter guys a chance, but it’s tough to change your own perception (let alone society’s) that the guy should tower over his gal. “You grow up with this notion that the man should be bigger than the woman so he can protect her,†explains Erin, 26, 6’2â€, of Richmond, VA.
Unexpected upside: Tall women learn to recognize what really makes a relationship work
While tastes and attraction are hard to change, sooner or later, many tall women are forced to accept a valuable truth that often eludes other daters: That they should jettison the more superficial traits on their “wish list†for a partner—whether that’s being 6’2â€, having a full head of hair or possessing six-pack abs. “While I used to believe that a man needed to be taller than me for me to feel safe, I know now that isn’t true,†says Erin, who ultimately fell for a man three inches shorter. “When I first met my now-husband, I thought he was cute, but I never thought we’d end up together due to the height difference. But we had a real connection, and I know now that’s what counts.â€
Hurdle #3: Once you’re dating a shorter guy, there’s a whole new host of problems
OK, so you’ve gotten over your own “He’s got to be taller than me†hang-up and have hit it off with a guy who’s largely fine with the fact that you’ve got some inches on him. But even then, you’re not in the clear. For starters, walk into a room arm in arm and you’re bound to get some odd looks. “I once dated someone shorter. He said it didn’t matter to him, but people couldn’t help but comment on it and make some pretty embarrassing jokes,†says Richelle. “Once, we were asked if he stood on the curb to kiss me!†To keep the wisecracks to a minimum, many women abandon their heels in favor of flats. But even then, the undue attention can sometimes be unbearable.
Unexpected upside: You learn to stop caring what other people think
Know that phrase “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you strongerâ€? That also applies in this scenario: Sooner or later, most tall women who date shorter men develop a Teflon coating. They stop caring if people point at them walking down the street together or if friends and family members make height jokes. They learn that all that really matters is whether you like the guy and whether he likes you. Six-foot-tall Ciana Clarke, 40, of Tallahassee, FL, may have felt awkward when she first began dating her shorter husband, but that soon changed. “His family and friends would tease him about his height rather than mine and say that he was lucky to land me, but he never let their cracks bother him,†she recalls. “He made me feel like a treasure and celebrated my difference more than anything else. I was proud of my height before we met, but his love and acceptance have made me feel more comfortable with our four-inch height difference.†And there’s no reason to relegate your high heels to the back of the closet when you have a self-confident guy in your corner. “My husband is really the one that made me start to embrace my height,†says Erin. “Before I met him I don’t think I owned one pair of heels—now I can’t get enough of them. My man loves me for all that I am, height included!â€
Elizabeth Roehrig has written for Redbook and other publications. For the other side of the story, read Dating when you’re a short guy.
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Article courtesy of Happen magazine, http://www.happenmag.com.
I am 52 years old, single, and 5’6″ tall. I have a college degree, a full time profesional job, and never been out of work or collected unemployment. I don’t consider myself ugly or shy. I’ve been on numerous blid dates in my life, and the usual comments from women I,ve met was always “I really prefer to date taller men!”. I used to feel sorry for myself and blamed my parents and myself for being short. I used to adore good looking women in high school and in college from afar, and always dreamed that someday I’d find my dream girl. I’ve come to realize over the years that the reality is that 99% of the women in our society are very shallow. Most women I’ve known wouldn’t even look at a short man twice. Yet when a tall man walks into the room they suddenly light up and start looking. It used to make me sick, but I got over it. I’ve come the conclusion that if you are a short man, unless you are filthy rich, you get the left over scraps. The women that have been through failed relationships with their “tall, dark, & handsome man” who ended up leaving them for someone younger. Now the same women who used to reject me years ago are divorced or separated with two or three kids and lots of baggage, so now they see me as a ticket to a house and someone who can support them and pay the bills, so they don’t ahve . Well guess what! Now its my turn to reject them
I was traveling with a friend this past weekend. I have been great friends with her for many years. We were talking about this dating short guys thing. She told me it is all in my head. She said a lot girls don’t care if the guy is short or not. I say BS. Actually, many of my female friends tell me that(height doesn’t matter). They are soo full of shit. It’s not going to hurt my feelings if they are honest. WTF?
Pepin, as usual I enjoy how candid you are. Just how old are these girls you’re friends with? Those do sound like statements from people who are immaturely, and in effect condescendingly, trying to protect your feelings and appear that they are doing the right thing. Yet, I do agree a lot of women(especially those beyond their early twenties)do NOT care–if you appear confident and communicate sexual tension. Part of displaying outward confidence is inwardly NOT giving a crap, NOT EVEN THINKING, about if a woman is going to reject you based upon your height. Know that you are the MAN doing the picking and choosing and this taller woman in front of you should perceive that as well as how sexy you think she is (without being a rabid fool or goofy about it). She should feel special, intrigued, and happy with yet challenged by your interest. If you waver nonverbally that you are uncomfortable with her being that much taller or self-conscious about what others think with you talking to her, then all her insecurities may rise to the surface. If you verbally ask her how she feels about dating shorter men or make jokes about your height, then you likewise communicate lack of confidence.
If a woman cannot handle public comments or snickers(as in hurdle#3 in Roehrig’s column), then she is not mature enough to think independently. She needs to grow up before really dating seriously. My experience, however, is that a lot of people are very jealous when they see me with a pretty taller woman. It reminds them how they have not gone after what they like and want.
Hi I’m 5’6. I’ve dated and attracted taller women. Personally a short woman with a nice body is real sexy to me.
In any case I think I have few advantages, and one of them is I’m pretty f—in’ muscular. If you are short you should really work on your body. When you are short and diesel I think you look very powerful and people notice it. When I walk past big tall mean looking dudes they don’t even make eye contact with me. And women stare at me all the time. Also I’m always catching women looking at my chest and legs. Being short only works against me in personal adds where women are just filtering out 5’6′ as short. When they see me they can’t keep their eyes off me. I know women hate this type of talk, but this advice is for my fellow short men–work out!! Wide shoulders, a protruding chest, a well developed back, and thick muscular legs will enhance your visual presence. It will draw attention away from your height. I’m 5’6 and people call me ‘big guy’ and ‘big fella’ all the time. Don’t underestimate it. Good Luck
Ok so here’s my 2 cents. I’m a girl, 5’3″ and I am sitting here pretty much in awe of all of the things that have been said a. about women being so superficial, b. about height not mattering to guys and c. about short guys being the only ones to be discriminated against. I have hated my height for as long as I can remember, and the only time I started caring about it was when people started making comments. These are some of the things that have been said about me, or to me, ALL comments made by men:
“Want to sit on my lap at the dinner table so you can reach?”
“Table for 5, please” *guy looks at me and corrects himself* “Make that four and a half”
“I would never have sex with a short girl. They can’t take the guy’s full length”
“What do your friends call you as a nickname? Shorty?”
“How tall are you? 5’3″? Oh you really are a tiny little thing”
I have been told ‘no’ by guys because I am too short to date, in their books. I’ve been made to feel like less of a woman (and more of a child), had my femininity removed with harsh comments. Every day is a battle for me. If you have a look at the url I supplied, you might agree I’m not a bad looking lady, but still, I have to be reminded of my ‘short-comings’ (pun intended) every day.
You might not think it is a big deal but I challenge you to walk around in my shoes for a day and come out with the same opinion. Being told you are a ‘tiny little thing’ can really make you feel insignificant.
Personally, I prefer guys under 5’9″. I think smaller guys rock, I never thought I would end up with a boyfriend who stood at 6’4″. Evidently it turned out, he didn’t like to date women over 5’4″. But that’s a whole other kettle of fish.
I am not superficial, I know that some women are, but the men here who have targeted all women and claimed they are superficial, the same can be said about guys. Some guys are superficial, as are some girls.
My 2 cents is that height discrimination doesn’t just happen to short guys. It happens to short girls too and trust me, I get it all the time. Apparently being attractive and approachable doesn’t cut it anymore. I’m not here to whine, I just wanted to point out that I go through it too. And as a woman I don’t think I’m any better off than you guys are as men.
I am a 6′ 6″ gay male. If I was born a woman, even at 6′ 2″ my husband would be shorter than 5′ 9″ for sure. I think shorter men are hotter, more sure of themselves, and cocky (I love that), and proud that they can dominate a much taller guy (a plus to me). Trust me ladies and the ladies who are in men’s bodies, don’t knock the short men. They are the best!
Precisely why I’ll never have kids, aside from the fact that no women will have sex with me because I’m under 5’7″, I don’t want to pass my inadequate genes on to my poor son, who will undoubtedly suffer a lifetime of rejection by women. I’m going to move to Japan, where I’ll be almost average.
We need to all get over this being short complex. I know it will be tough to do, but I am going to work on it. There are girls out there that don’t care. I am slowly learning this.
Aj, don’t let your height discourage you from breeding, if you want to have kids do it. My dad is tall (6’2). My mother is short, which is where I get my genes from. However, my brothers are all average height.
I stumbled across this thread after researching Prince performing a radiohead song. I find it absolutely hilarious that after looking for information about music, the internet could filter me all the way to a forum about short men.
It just so happens that I am short, but here are my two cents: I am 5’5, I have never in my entire life dated a woman shorter than me. Actually my first girlfriend was six feet. My first long term girlfriend was 5’10, and my current girlfriend that I live with is about 5’8. I am good looking, talented, in good shape and I take care of myself.
Did you guys notice that? I said take care of myself. What that means to me is to accept the world for what it is, find out what you want in life, and go for it. If you persevere you will get what you worked for. If you dwell on the negative, you do nothing but help the myth of the Napoleonic short man thrive.
Yes Im short, yes I feel awkward sometimes approaching a woman of model height. But I know a few things. I can make a woman laugh, I can keep her intellectually stimulated, and lastly I can make her squeal like no man can. All this is from years of hard work. Do your time guys, get a good attitude, learn to love yourself and everyone around you will love you.
“The way the world treats you is only a pure reflection of the way you treat yourself” – Terry (yes thats me!!)
Cheers!!!
Women like tall men because they make us feel small and safe. If we’re taller than the man, we don’t feel as feminine; plus, we worry about how well he’ll protect us.
I once listened to a black stand up comic say something like, “I don’t go a single day without thinking about being black.” That really hit the plight of black people (or, at least people with his experience) home to me because I am 5’2″ (I almost wrote 5’3″ out of habit) and I think about my height on a daily basis. I am in my mid-twenties and I am finding that it is MORE of an issue the older I get. I guess the reason is that I am going into more situations where first impressions matter.
I have been dating a girl who is exactly my height for 3 years. She is beautiful. I have caught her making comments that fueled my insecurities about my height, or entertaining jokes by her friends that were degrading about height. This has recently burned me up inside, but after reading this thread, I have been able to take a step back.
I have made her insecure in our relationship at various times. I have been a jerk to women at various times for whatever reason. Listen to people make complaints about things that I have complained about has simply reminded me to be more respectful to people for all types of things.
I think I get the most concerned about my height around completely ignorant jerks. These are people who will rip apart any person for any characteristic that is less preferred unless there is a stigma attached to it. You can’t really get worked up about it.
I have thought at times that “Man, if only I were a lot taller, I could get all the women I want”. But I know guys who are 6 feet tall who don’t get the caliber of women that I get because they are less attractive, or they have less of a personality, or they are less successful. I wouldn’t trade any of my positives in life for somebody else’s positives, because that’s what gives me my identity.
There are many annoying aspects to being short. Honestly, I think the worst part of it is the ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’ nature of the Napoleon Complex myth. My father is 5’10” and he and I have the same personality. We are both very generous and fair people until we are crossed or disrespected, and then we make our opinions known, and we refuse to back down from confrontation out of a fear of physical harm. Sometimes, people look to demean me by saying that I have a complex, or I’m aggressive because I’m insecure about my height. It often makes me want to change my personality–not my height–in order not leave myself open to those sorts of insults.
The fact of the matter is that I am often a magnet for trouble at bars from people with chips on their shoulders who think their height advantage will translate to a combat advantage. Sometimes it will, and I recognize that, but I don’t take unwarranted disrespect lightly and so I never cower into a corner or let these sorts of things pass unless I feel they are unintentional slights. I can tell that some of my friends subscribe to the complex myths and think that my confrontations in bars are a result of this, and it angers me. They don’t see from my perspective that I get targeted for these sorts of things. I don’t go out and insult people and start shit on purpose.
But oh well. One of my friends is tall in stature, good-looking, and a successful MBA who can’t find a girlfriend because he is in a wheelchair.
It’s not healthy to wish you were perfect. I find it unlikely that the guys in here who can’t find ANY date are really in as dire a situation as they describe. If so, I doubt that height is the core problem.
In my experience, the disadvantages of being short in dating usually dissipate after you have sufficient time to get to know people, unless the people you are trying to impress base their dating preferences on what other people think about them. In those cases, they will never be happy anyway. While you can’t change your height, it is very easy to marginalize the impact your height has on your love life. You’ll get a lot more mileage out of trying to improve the way you treat people than harping on your height, or weight, or unattractiveness, or lack of money, or color, or whatnot.
Right on, Anon.
I have been reading these threads for some time and thought I’d offer my experiences of being short. I’m a male in my mid fifties. I’ve been married and divorced. I have two happy healthy adult children. I have a great job and am financially secure….but have to admit my height has bothered me for as long as I can remember.
I wasn’t conscious of my height until about age 14/15. Although I can remember a teacher commenting on it when I was 5 or 6 – ‘Gosh your so small’. As an adult I topped out between 5’2 and 5’3. If asked I always round up.
For male’s I really do think the biggest ‘downer’ on being short is opportunities for romantic relationships. The majority of people want to find happiness with a life partner, and despite the ‘confidence is everything’ brigade – in my experience being short (under 5’4) is going to make that difficult because of your restricted dating pool.
Its not something we can change, and we have to make the best of it…but it still doesn’t prevent us all thinking ‘what if’
Hillary, if are looking for a nice jewish guy who is tall,talktome. Solr2000@yahoo.com
I was recently in South America on a little surfing expedition. The girls there were all over me (no they were not hookers).:-) Height did not matter.
I recently started to date an amazing man who is 5’9″ and I am 5’6″. I love to wear 3-4 inch heels, so on our first date I was 1 inch taller than him:). It took me three dates to release my reservations about his height. And, to be honest, those who have talked about shorter men being better in bed and having larger equipment are SPOT ON! Boy, let’s just say there are many advantages to being intimate with a shorter man, and I only got two hours of sleep last night. The wonderful thing is that everything else about him is great, too! I never want to go back to dating tall men again!:)
I know that most of the people think that woman should be shorter than men is the most ridiculous thing i have heard of.I mean that most of the time it is true but it shouldnt be.Now i am 50 yrs old now and always have been short,i was the shortest in my family and the oldest.My 2 younger sister 48 and 46 they are 5’7 then my youngers brother who is 45 he is 5’10.My mum was 5’5 and dad 5’11.Now you would have thought being the oldest i would have a decent height.NOPE this wasnt to be i managed a grand old height of 4’10.Can you imagine me having to tell my younger siblings to do this do that while having to look up at them.My mum thought i was just gonna be a slow developer.Which i was has my final height was gained when i was 16 yrs old.I was one of the shortest all through school.It ended up that my nan was a shortish woman she was 5’0.I used to always say that the only time i will manage 5’0 is when i wear a couple of ins on my shoes.I was very distraught when i had to watch my 2 younger sisters grow taller.No one would believe that i was the oldest out of us all.Even to this day i still look younger than alot of tall people so i am thankful
I guess the problem for a short guy like me is that the first thing anyone notices about anyone is their height. I also realized a lot earlier that many girls (although they wouldn’t always admit it) like feeling girly and protected. The remedy is to hit the gym haha, I’m 5′ 5 1/2″ (the 1/2″ is important lol), 170 lbs of muslce :P, that generally gets rid of that problem.
Can believe this Julia..yeak the dummy above..He is 5’9″ , you are 5’6″..your the shorter one dummy..what does your shoes have to do with your actual height? Why don’t you wear 24″ heels this way you can claim you are taller than most of the players of the NBA..
Now we all see how dumb some women are and what all Men are up against..She thinks a guy that is 3 inches taller than her is Shorter than her..Guess if he was 6 feet tall..they would be the same height ???
Remeber one thing guys,
No matter how attractive the girl looks today..in 25 yrs you will be stuck with a old Bag of potatoes.
Be careful what you wish for (lol).
Most girls are whores. They will sleep with anyone. Whether your are tall or short. Just have a few drinks with her. Try not to pay for her drinks, but if you buy her a drink make it a shot. Also, give her those back handed compliments. Say things like; I don’t care what anybody says, I think you have a great ass. Guys just wanna get laid, enough of the pussy footing around. Treat girls like shit, they love it and will come back for more.
Pepin: I think I’m going to steal your line. That’s an awesome one! Apparently, giving back-handed compliments speaks of confidence to a woman. You’re not turning her into a whore; you’re genuinely attracting her.
Olivia: You are not comfortable with your femininity and will be unable to feel so with fooling yourself that standing next to a taller guy will magically make you feel that way. Being with men who really think you are sexy and a good person will. Height doesn’t necessarily translate into strength or fighting ability. If you spent time in a gym, you would learn that very quickly.
My2cents: You have to be kidding me with the way you look. And, 5’3″ may be short but it’s not THAT short for a girl. Why is it that guys have made those comments? Were they teasing because they liked you? Were they getting you back for acting nasty? Something else? Being attractive and approachable means a helluva lot to guys.
Anon: I second the good post. How many times have you guys gotten the question, “Are you a jockey?” I think it’s the most common one I get. Tonight, I got it from some girl shorter than I. I failed to give my usual line: “Why is that important to you?”. Typically that does work like a charm. I think I was caught off guard. This would be a good example of people giving us sh*t for no reason. This is not whining about how hard it is. It is harder. Period. But, it’s good to see the support on this thread.
The hunt continues. Cheers!
Olivia: lol, i think if you’re taller than the guy, you should be the one worrying about how to protect him.
I about five foot two. I hate it. Girls do like the taller guys. Why? I hate that. Once in awhile girls like me, but they are fat and overweight. Since the girls are picky about short guys, I can sure as hell be picky about fat girls.
I agree Pete. Although, you would get laid more if you lower your standards for the fatties. The fat ones tend to put out more.
Actully I am 5.10 I have dated many short guys even less than 5.0. I find it easy to be with shorter guys. They can not override me. Some times when we go out on long walks I used to carry my boyfriend in my hip like a child. If he refuses to be in my hip I just make him fully nude and then he accepts whatever I do. When I carry him nudely his penis gives me plesent touches in my hip and automatically semon pours into my hip.
Lol, nice Bhavana. I am not gonna tell you what to do. Be careful, cause little guys can still kick some ass. Just because the guys you date are smaller, doesn’t mean they won’t beat like your taller boyfriends do, you beast.
well, speaking of the chinese, my guy is chinese, and he’s fucking gorgeous. im 5’10, and he’s around 5’8 or 5’8.5. its not like i dont ever think about the height thing, clearly i do or i wouldent be on this website, i check in shop windows our reflections to gauge if we look stupid, sometimes i look at strangers to see the reaction and if they are thinking im weird for being with him, but the fact is, i know that is’s my problem, and im the one being a dick for thinking like that. also, he’s incredible, amazing in the sack and treats me well, i love him to bits and i cant imagine being without him. i know it sounds boring and corny but i do. i think, to be honest, if he was really skinny, i would struggle, but he’s stronger than me, and it turns me one. i dated one other guy once who was shorter and skinnier, for 5 years, but in the end i knew that i would struggle with the long term because he made me feel like an ogre, though im not over weight myself. but thats my problem i know, and i had to deal with it. the height thing bothers some, and it bothers me a little as in i do think about it, but i love my fella so ,uch its just one thing thats not as important as that, and its not a reflection on him, its a reflection on my insecurity and how i feel about myself. there are many thing s that could bring that out. but im not going to give him up because of what the world portrays as ‘ideal’. at the end of the day, i know we are both attractive people who would have beautiful babies, and i have to get over whatever my issues are. but on the other hand, the height thing is probably the closest that guys will feel to be able to understand the kind of pressure that girls are under every day to look a certain way because of the media based worlds we live in, especially when guys are so visually stimulated compared to girls (in general) when it comes to sex.
i just read the post by ANON, and wanted to say, hey you sound a pretty decent guy dont let it get to you. im in my mid 20’s as well, and with girls like myself, we think about height a lot too. im 5’10 as i said, and one of my female friends is around 6′ and as tall girls we get just as much shit from people. not now we are older, but at school i got it all the time… and it translates into self esteem as you get older until you develop a new way of thinking. i dont really care anymore, at least, not like i did, but ive never thought bad of guys for being short… just cursed myself for being too tall!! its how you are brought up or the learned behaviour you took on as a child/teenager. ad that dude going on about all women being whores…who was that…i had a look but i cant find the post… anyway, you are damaged, deal with it. you need help to respect people, you cant come on here talking about heith discrimination and then discriminate against sex. cock.
Hey Chrissie, great to have to you here. It seems to me that you like guys a few inches shorter than you. You are honest about dealing with the pressure of overcoming the societal norms of what a couple is “supposed to” look like, and that’s very cool.
Just as you need to be comfortable with your femininity, the guy you’re with needs to be ok with his masculinity. The skinnier guy you dated for 5 years was likely uncomfortable with his masculinity. Since I have an utter weakness for women much taller than I am, it’s hard for me to understand a guy going for a taller girl and not being into that.
The bottom line as you know is how you feel deep down when you’re around your boyfriend. It should just feel that good. And that positive feeling will override the foolishness and jealousy of others.
I can tell you that people can be very jealous of me talking to or going out with a girl about a foot taller than I am. Guys will hit on the girls I’m with and when the girl says I’m her boyfriend those guys often say something belligerent.
And that jealousy not only stems from strangers but I have gotten a lot of that from my own (short) parents. Despite the fact that they have met some of the tall girls I’ve been friends with and one of the models I went out with was on tv and is going to be in a movie, they still say I’m “too short” to date taller girls. I think jealous people are reminded of how they gave up on certain thoughts and ambitions when they see someone around them achieving that. It’s painful for me but I just know the type of girl I appreciate and won’t stop going for her.
It sounds like Bhavana likes to be in control so I don’t think she’s worried about dating a guy whom she wouldn’t be able to do that. On the other hand, sometimes girls like this are also tempted by the thought, even momentary, of the dude she appears to overpower being able to get one over on her. Sound like you are having just too much fun, Bhavana, but is it all true?
I am a short man. I am 5’5″ and once put two identical ads in two seperate papers in Baltimore. On one I put my height and on the other I didn’t. Both papers have a good circulation. I had 12 replies on the one without my height and none on the other. I changed them around with different words and switched papers with the height being on the other one and no height on the origional one with the height listed..guess what, yep. There is a payback when us short men get older. As women age and become less attractive that is when it is fun for us. I have been trying for eighteen years to find a normal girl after my divorce, she is on her fourth husband.but after all the dating groups, pwp and together, and every dating service around I finally think I am going to give up. I don’t look at the women for sexuality as much as when I was young, I look for compatibility. Trouble is that most that want to date now (40-55) are just strange and I am too old to un-strange them. So now because it is boring to keep looking and it isn’t fun anymore to treat them like they treated me earlier in my life..(I like you but I’m looking for someone taller…we can be friends! I hated that) At fifty six it’s just hard to jutify spending a couple of quality years wih someone before medicare. I screwed up years ago anyway. God gave me the perfect woman and I was too young and stupid to know it. My bad! By the way, there was a special on tv a few years ago called the last quiet discrimination in America. It was abouut short men. It was either 60 minutes or one like that. It was pretty sad for guys under 5’6″.I sometimes think I am somewhat bitter because it was so hard to find a good woman that was really attracted to a short guy back then. I had to kinda settle for what I could get…IE..my ex. I did everything I could to level the playing field but it was just like in school, being picked for the team, what a joke, wouldn’t even let me try out! Same with women. Even in the work place I was treated like a second class citizen. There was a company in Ky I worked real hard to build the territory for. When the position opened up in my section for a mgr, I applied and was told by the president of the company that I was too short. He wanted a taller man because of the need to cast a large shadow in the company. Did you know there isn’t a law on the books for protection of short men against that kind of discrimination. Ah, whaddaya do. Good luck to all young short studs trying to find their main squeeze, don’t settle for mean fat and crazy. We can’t do anything about our height, but there is no reason for a person to just be sloppy fat, unless they don’t care about themselves, and if that is the case, how can the woman care about u when they don’t care about their own health and appearance. Damnit don’t settle for it. Find a pretty asian girl that will appreciate you,They don’t necessarily look for the tallest oak in the forest, I know, that was my mistake that I am still paying for, she loved me and I was too stupid to know. Fat women may need love to but short men are not the dumping ground for women who don’t give a damn about their appearance. I’m not talking about a few pounds over weight, I’m talking about just plain well you know, the woman in shorts at the store that just bent over in front of you and almost put your eyes out. I don’t wanna hear that I shouldn’t feel that way and that just because I am short I should keep quiet because I don’t look that attractive cuz I’m short. I got news for ya, I was a short god, I weighed 130lbs, six pack abs, legs that could shove 260lb weighs on a universal gym 50 reps without breaking a sweat, I owned a sportscar (70 cuda) and could do 60 pushups,wore clothes from Macy’s. didn’t matter, girls that were short,tall,thin,fat,plump,white,black, still just wanted to be my friend. By the was I carried a big fat,long package, I went to bed with a woman in Colorado Springs that said, Where did you get that! I just smiled and..So don’t believe everything you hear. Be good and be as picky as they are.
I feel your pain, Rick E. At least you are taller then me. I am almost 5″3″..lol. I am pretty stocky though. I wieght about 175 lbs. Anyway, dating really sucks ass in general. Being short doesn’t help at all. I did the same thing as you with the dating add. I posted two adds online. One with my height and one saying I was 5″11. The one that I lied on got all kinds of responses. It felt good to ignor those ones. Sometimes I get a response from the adds with the real me. I don’t know how to proceed anymore. I don’t know if I should just not worry about finding a girl. After all, I never want to get married and nor do I want to have kids. I just want a chick to date and hang with. We’ll see.
Oh yeah. Mexican, women/girls tend to like us shorter guys too.
Pete, maybe girls are turned off by your bad attitude and not your height…
Chelsea –
there’s alot of maybes in this world.
But, I think from the overwhelming number of testimonies from short guys and their painful experiences with tall women and how the tall women judge/criticize and view them – I’m pretty sure Pete’s height is the factor that girls are measuring his self-worth, and not his bad attitude –
p.s. if the girls were treating him right, to begin with – he wouldn’t have a bad attitude, in the first place.
Chicken before the egg.
In my opinion, it’s best for us short guys to date shorter women. The ones that are around the same height as us.
My boyfriend told me about this page. He is really awesome and I love him. I am an inch taller than him and I am 5ft 5. I don’t wear high heels when we are together because he does not like it. I am totally fine with that. I can’t tell you how great of a guy he really is. I don’t ever think about his height. I actually met him online and knew he was short. I was a little hesitant at first. Once we started emailing and talking on the phone, I knew he was right for me. We have been togher for 4 years now.
I have been following the comments with interest, particularly the argument between Tatyana and Bruno. Bruno made a fair argument from a neutral point, which got bashed viciously by Tatyana. When he comes in defence, he is accused of a “Napoleon complex”. Apparently, people under a certain height are supposed to ‘compensate’ for it by being a nice little boy, so that women like Tatyana can later excuse themselves from dating short men by saying “he is a wimp”.
Anyway the concept of “Napoleon complex” is ironic as Napoleon was of above average height during his era. And despite the worst genocidal maniacs being exceptionally tall, no one calls tall people off for having Osama complex, Idi Amin complex or even Saddam complex.
Anyway it is a society like that, that makes me grateful that I’m not in America. In my country the community known for putting a premium on height is also the least educated and intellectual community. So that could imply that American women suffer from some “dumb bimbo complex”.
Though I’m standing at just 5’4″; I’m good-looking (I work very hard to keep in shape), smart, and rather funny in person, I’d say.
But I can’t help that women have an unreasonable bias. I don’t like to complain about stupid things like that anyway. We can complain about a lot of things, nobody is born with everything.
But if a woman tells me I’m too short, you can bet I will go straight to her deepest insecurity, just to be fair. Extra 10,20,30 pounds? At least you could actually lose those if you weren’t so lazy. Bad hair day? Is your face a little less than beautiful? Nobody can be absolutely perfect, you’re supposed to overlook some things in finding a partner. If you negatively focus on every arbitrary trait of someone, don’t expect lenience on your own.
And even so, I really am tired of the “what’s wrong with dating fat women?” comparison. I didn’t become short because I shoved junk food down my gullet.
And I say that even as someone who would forgive an imperfect physique on a great girl. Because I am sensible enough to give people a chance, even if they don’t meet every bit of my ideal criteria.
That said, I’ve never had too much trouble with women. Some people even seem to be able to like short guys!
As a short guy(5`5),it is much easier to date a woman who is the same height or slightly taller. Because very short and tall women all want tall men. I guess very short women and tall women are very insecure about their height and need a tall man to compensate
Height is not the issue. But does a woman feel comfortable being bigger and stronger than the male? Not really. Therefore, if she is taller, there is a good chance she will be stronger. And most women dont want to take on the role as the protector.
KC,
do you really believe that more height=stronger? this is often not the case for men and almost never for a women & a man. i find the idea that a taller man is a better “protector” to be ludicrous.
Almost nearly all women are taller than me. I don’t think there are any stronger than me…..I will crush them no matter how tall they are…..lol. 🙂
But seriously. I think any level headed person knows, just because a woman is tall; doesn’t mean she is strong.
And what is the deal with protection. What does a woman need protection from? Is she always being attacked or something? If that is the case, why would any man want that drama in his life anyway?
Nice to see so many taller ladies willing to give the shorter men a chance. By no means am i a short man, but i’ve always had a preference towards taller ladies, but you do sometimes see that prejuidice in their eyes, and its a horrible thing to see.
The tallest lady i dated was 6’3 and she had a body that was proportionate to her height. She would wear heels as we both liked the way it made us feel. I liked her being taller, as tall as 6’7, and she loved towering over me and feeling dominant (although her height never really correlated with dominance for me). Our relationship lasted 5 months, was not influenced by narrow minded people staring and pointing, and only ended when she felt it was okay to use her physical dominance,fuelled by alcohol, to embarress me in public. And yes, being picked up, shaken like a raggy doll, thrown on the floor, only to be picked up and mollycuddled, is embarrasing! And is definately a big mistake in public, so dont do it!
I now date a lady who is the same height as me. She does sometimes wear heels but still feels a little unusual being taller than me. I guess im going to have to work a little harder convincing her that she looks an absolute goddess when taller!
By the way, im 5’11
I was married to a guy that was 6’1. I am 5’2. I used t think that I liked a taller man, but I was wrong. These days, I prefer some one closer to my own height. 5’5 to 5’9.
I find this article very interesting but why do i only find a lot of older women stating the changes they’ve made in their life and giving short men a chance. Why does it take so long for them to mature and realize it doesnt really matter? Im 20 years old and im more interested in girls that are around my age and i stand at barely 5’5. Anyway dating and finding a girlfriend is only half the problem for me. Ive been schedule for interviews at many places and i do my best really…i try but no one really wants to hire me. Ive even had managers mock me, “Are you going to be able to reach all the way up there” or “You could probably fit in that icebox” and then maybe mock me and laugh about it more. Nobody says anything, and most of the time im shy and quiet and when someone does say something like that i tell them to shutup…but that is not really standing up for myself. Anyway….the past was the past. I know girls and guys have insulted me in front of me and behind my back all during high school….they knew i was insecure so i became afraid to talk to anyone because i felt they could see right through me. I was so shy,…but i would sometimes get anrgy, throw tamtrums, and basically a creep. Then when i became a bully people avoided me and said that i had the syndrome. I really hate people.
Im goodlooking and handsome alot of people say…but i dont understand why my height has hurt me right now. I use to have dreams but they are dead now because im not doing anything.
Im living with my parents, stop going to school, depressed, anxious, not working, im bodybuilding, not talking or making any friends. My life just sucks.
I partially want to blame myself but part of me knows its what society, females, the media, physics, and the existence of matter that hinders my ability to feel like a man.
Now my role model is Charles Manson, and i would love to see the world burn with the lovers in it. Im sorry, but i just want to kill you all.
So, essentially, I have to accept the fact that my “pool” of choices is smaller? I simply refuse. I think women are too superficial when choosing men. Judging men by height is just wrong and discriminatory. Short men should have the same oppurtunies as taller men.
I mean really the only advantages they have is being able to take longer steps and reach far to reach places.
It drives me mad really…i just upset and bitter against all women and tall men.
i also have a fine body and im skinny so weight is not a problem. Most girls dont want to be dating me….they just want to be friends so they can treat me like some kind of doll. Im not one taking very seriously. in fact, i was picked on by guys and girls alike because of my height. Insulted and put down….now im alone and living with parents.
Right now im weightlifting through, learning the katana, taking judo and taekwando,…so i can learn to kick a tall guys ass. And then when im finished with him i will blow off his girlfriends brains.
Gerik, where did you grow up? You know, you are still young enough that you can take HGH (human growth hormone). It can seriously add a few inches to your height. There are not any side effects at all. Ask a doctor or read about it and get informed about it. I wish I could have had that when I was younger. If a parent has a short kid, they can get HGH for him/her and they will grow to be taller. That’s one thing you can do.
At least you have a couple inches of height on me. I am 5’2. It is true that woman and employers discriminate against us because we are short and it sucks. But you can find something that works for you. Look at Danny Davito and Prince, neither of them are even 5ft tall. If you think your life has been tough, try being a dwarf. Have you ever seen the show Little People? They have it way more rough than us. I mean, I can still reach the gas peddle by moving the seat up, they can’t. If I need to get into a cubbard, I use a step stool. They use a ladder or a really big step stool. Anyway; we do have a little bit of tough times with our height, but it’s not the worst probelem in the world. So what, we can’t get dates as often as most.
Im growing up in hell. I tried hgh that but im supposed to be short (both of my parents are)_, poor examples….and yeah why do you want me to grateful for not being a dwarve? That same way of thinking and attitude is the equivalent of someone who is 6 foot and thinks about short-statured people. I bet people who are that tall are saying the same thing about both dwarves, midgets and short people.
And dont even get started with vegetable handicapped people. Im tired of this world and im tired of this perception. My desire to have lots of dates is high, but i have had none….not because of my negative attitude. But because im shy and quiet. I dont believe that my negative attitude reflects at all. Its at the end of the day that i return to my shelter and realize i have nothing. No real friends and no girlfriend. Im really sick of life and thinking, either i get sent to prision for life or i hang myself or something. I have no future.
What is it with you humans and comparing worst-case scenarios? I HAVE IT BAD IDIOTS.
Listen kid. You should never want to go to prison, especially for the rest of your life. Those guys in there would really take advantage of you. You thought you had it bad now. So I would advise taking you’re own life instead.
If that’s what you really want.
I think that if you are truly looking for love, you can’t limit yourself to appearances. I’ve always liked short guys, but was afraid to date them because I didn’t want to deal with the short man syndrome. A short guy approached me two years ago and while he seemed like he didn’t expect much to come from a taller girl, he talked to me anyway. I’m 5’4″ and he is 4’10”. We are happily married now and I can’t imagine living my life without him. He is truly everything I ever asked for and so much more than I deserve. If I had judged him for his height, I would have missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime. Ladies, don’t shoot yourself in the foot because someone else has an opinion. Live your own life, and be happy!
Interesting thread. Some things discussed I already new and have observed first hand, and also a chance to learn as well.
I am a 5’6″ male, 42 years old, divorced with 2 children, formerly married to a woman 5’10” for 9 years.
My note here is mainly targeted to give you younger guys out there some hope 🙂 Yes, we live in a world where short is not a “preference” by most women out there, but you can’t let that stop you or get you down. Some short men have mentioned in this thread that they notice being short a disadvantage among dating as they get older, but I have found the opposite. My ex originally wanted to date a guy 6 feet or taller, but over time as she got to know me, that was not such a strict requirement anymore. Women over time- not all women but many – will tend to look at other characteristics in a mate that go beyond height.
And I also agree with the observation some guys have, that they get slaughtered so to speak on dating sites. I am using a dating site now (a big well known national one) and I can tell you height is the single biggest factor working against me. With more traditional ways to meet- live and in person – it is easier for us short guys to overcome this. Women here have observed that shorter men develop and perfect the things they can control – education, personality, fitness, humor – we also LISTEN better I think too! Because face it, we have to work harder than the taller guys do, and some women like it when guys work harder for their attention.
And I have nothing against tall guys either- I don’t see any reason to stereotype them as having smaller dicks or they are slackers or have no personality. I hope my son grows up to be tall one day, but if he doesn’t that is perfectly fine too. I have read some women post here that they choose a mate taller than them because they want their kids to be tall… that may have been a factor for me in choosing a tall wife, but really I was so happy a pretty girl was in love with me and wanted to be with me, her height would not have mattered we would have had kids anyway. With taller women for me, there is more of them to love, and long slender legs are a big turn on for me! Unfortunately the marriage ended but had nothing at all to do with any physical discrepancies.
OK short guys out there- just have a positive attitude and be willing to work harder than the average guy to find your woman! Get educated. Learn how to dance- women LOVE to dance! Become well traveled- go to Europe, Asia. Travel alone, women you meet on trips will see you are confident to travel alone, this will attract them! Chances are you will meet another confident woman traveling alone too, and these are the types of women who are not as threatened to go out with a shorter guy. Pick up a new skill or sport – take lessons to learn how to play the guitar. For me, owning a boat and becoming great at water sports has been a cant-say-no way to meet women- what girl doesn’t want to hang out in a boat, enjoy the water and sun, have some drinks??? Even room for friends too! So you live in a cold state? Then become a killer downhill snow skier or boarder. Develop some “edge” or advantage you can do better than most.. and I’m not talking poetry either, although some chicks do dig that 🙂
And I absolutely agree with guys who have said previously that if you think you have it tough being short meeting women, what about guys in wheelchairs, blind, and all these brave veterans returning from crap wars where they are losing limbs, and burn victims? These other guys are finding women who love them, they should inspire you!
I started off life short, then in my teenage years developed severe acne and my eyesight went to hell, so I had the not-so-fun experience of going through puberty with huge coke-bottle glasses as well! Well contacts and later RK surgery fixed the bad eyesight, the pimples did go away but I still have visible facial scars and still get a pimple now and then at my age (ugh!). But as you all know, there is not a surgery or exercise or book I can read that will make me grow taller. I accept that, work with it, not let it hinder me. I have two beautiful children, I keep myself in top shape, run half marathons regularly. Keep an active circle of friends to get out socially, as for short guys you will have better luck starting out with a “friend” – and if your female friend can’t see past your height, then at least she can say good things to her other single female friends who are more open to dating shorter guys. But don’t sit around feeling sorry about something you cannot change. You read confidence is a big trait women are attracted to, and I understand many of you are challenged to portray that, especially going thorough life where women are rejecting you before they even have a first conversation. Developing these other skills and becoming good at them to me has helped me in my confidence. That and adopt an attitude that you don’t care what other people think. Leave your house one night making a promise to yourself for example that you will talk to at least 3 women you have never met… seek them out. Tell yourself you know they may not answer you, may look at you strange, but you are going to try and start up a conversation. Hell start with short chicks to get you going, but don’t stop there. Go up to a group of women- they tend to travel in packs when going out 🙂 – and start off with something like such as “So what is the special occasion that brings a group of beautiful ladies such as yourselves together tonight?” Don’t go with a wingman, just go by yourself. Don’t forget to smile! Eventually the confidence will come, it is like practicing for a job interview if that helps 🙂 You will get better at something you keep trying at.
As others have said (this is a great thread on life I think, not just for short people!), dating is tough for ANY height person, so do not attribute rejections to height alone. Yeah height is the #1 criteria women have I think across the board, just accept it or move to Japan or something 🙂 Just develop, improve, perfect what you do have control over, and get that confidence up! I do on-line dating because my schedule doesn’t allow me to get out as much as I would like, so I see first-hand women setting an arbitrary cut-off height, but I have found if you are within a few inches of those preferences, they are flexible – if you can make up for it in other ways!
Best of luck to you all- remember as short as you think you are, there is someone else who is shorter, and has found a compatible mate. And there are other who have true physical handicaps and have managed to overcome dating obstacles as well.
Fellas I’m 5,6 1/2 22 years old with a good gym body. I used to have a problem with my height and now I have just learned to live with it! I’m happy now. Hobby wise it’s good I’m a biker and proud of it, being tall means you are more AERODYNAMICLLY UNSTABLE, lanky on bikes, get black eyes for walking through low doors, not being able to duck easy in a punch up, and the list goes on, if a woman does not like my height then I’m probably best of without her. Cheer up fellas lifes not so bad ; )
This is what I have to say–
My boyfriend of over four years is close to three inches shorter than me, I think. (I’m 5’6 he’s about 5’3/5’4) I love his height. It bugged me at first, like it bugs most women but not because of my wanting him to be bigger. Like someone else said in a post, I just wanted to be smaller. I used to think I would never want to wear heels again. I would even think about how, when the time came, I could alter our wedding picture so that we looked to be about the same height.
All of this thinking was done in the first year of our relationship and I think back on it now and I am extremely ashamed in the way I felt. I mean, the average woman is 5’4 so, I’m a bit of a taller woman and I never thought I would be able to be happy about my height ever again. Now I love feeling tall. And I know he likes it too. When ever we are having sex, there are so many things we can do that would be impossible if he were taller. I can put my legs on his shoulders… and let me just tell you ladies, if you haven’t been able to do that before… it’s freaking incredible. Also, I disagree with the whole Napoleon complex thing… sort of. What I mean by that is, yes sometimes they can be more animated than taller men, but usually it’s just that they have the same amount of animation, just concentrated into a smaller (in my opinion, better) vessel. And to that statement amount penis size. NOT TRUE! My man’s dick is about 8 inches, well above average.
Carl pointed out your fallacy in aligning short men with Hitler. Of since it put your foot in your mouth, he shouldn’t have discussed this (so that people as stupid as you believe that short people make Hitler-like personalities).
It is true that us shorter dudes have a more difficult time getting dates. That doesn’t mean we don’t get dates. You know what is strange though. I have a lot of tattoos, but they are on my legs and body. A few months ago I started a sleeve on my arm. I don’t know if it was a coincident or not, but I have gotten a lot more attention from girls. I don’t get tattoos for the girls, I get them cause I love them. Now I have a girlfriend who is also short like me and she has tattoos as well.
Short Men have been given the shove by MOST if not all Women in the Western World Period – their answer is “YOU ARE NOT WANTED – GO AWAY AND DIE!”
Now the TALLNESS MACHINE is ATTACKING ASIA – the Western Media is telling the women there that their Men are inferior and that they should stop playing with boys and get themselves a Real Man of over 5’11” or taller to have men.
Well here in America we were all given “Life, Liberty, and the Persuit of Happiness” This was Written in the US Constitution by James Madison who became the 4th President of the United States. James Madison was 5’4″! He would turn over in his grave if he knew that Short Men have become the Laughing Stock of Western World by a bunch of Chicken Hearted Bullies who have convinced that Height Alone makes a Man – it doesn’t!
Now I have dated women around my size which is 5’4″ I have absolutely no problem with my height – but Women do and tell me. I have had women spit in my face, kick me and tell me off for even try to ask them out for a date. I have been called “Little Man”, “Shorty” or “Boy” by many women of all sizes including ones shorter than my height!
1 out of every 1,000 women will date a man under 5’7″ that is insane – I know I am not the only man who is 5’4″ and I am 100% judged on my height alone by women who consider short men inferior.
In today’s America the Short Man is not given the rights to “Life, Liberty, and the Persuit of Happiness”
1. Your life is not protected, you are the 1st to go if there is a layoff, or if there is something wrong – it’s your fault because you are Negative.
2. Liberty – you are not permitted to advance in the society – you are scoffed at by tall people and told to deal with it. (Because if you are protected – the lie becomes apparent that the tall people are no different and not superior or the fact they can’t bear the fact that they are big babies and we can’t hurt their feelings – screw that – but it’s perfectly fine for them to hurt short Men’s feelings – what a freaking double standard.
3. The Persuit of Happiness – well if society has decided that Short Men are inferior and convinced all the women in the Country that TALL is the most important thing in having a family and children – what happiness is there for the Short Men (What live your life, bitter, alone and miserable – just be happy we let you live attitude.”
“Just be happy we let you live attitude.” is why Short Men are Discriminated against – You are permitted to do anything else except your can have your life.
Tall People better wake up and think – because they will stop at nothing to shut down short men – because it pleasures them to the excess.
Rant my ass – I say to anyone over 5’11” put yourself in a shorter man’s shoes and see what you do to them…..
Correction:
“Just be happy we let you live.” – attitude. is why Short Men are Discriminated against – You are not permitted to do anything else except your can have your life in your little place which we allow you to have.
This is total discrimination – like Jim Crow Laws in the South, and woman’s rights in the 1960’s. The Main Reason this is going to be hard to stop is – the woman’s rights movement
This report showed woman in dating chose the TALLEST MAN:
ttp://jrscience.wcp.muohio.edu/Research/HumanNatureProgArticles/dontwantnoshortshortmanFI.html
Another that shows that Shorter WOMEN GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO NOT DATE SHORTER MEN:
http://www.seacoastonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080815/ENTERTAIN/808150306&sfad=1
So the answer is it’s basically a competition and SHORT MEN AND TALLER WOMEN ARE NOT INVITED.
umm I’m a 6’3 guy. Girls who are less than 5’11, you’re not that tall so stop complaining. There are plenty of tall guys for you. after all, guys ARE the taller gender on average, so that means there will be people who are way taller than you. I’m 6 inches above the average american male, so that means thats about a 5’10 female. A 6’3 female would pair with a 6’8 male. I’ve only seen a couple of people that tall, they seem to be equally uncommon.
Usually I’m always the tallest one for the majority of the places i go to. Women above 5’11 are extremely FEW and far between and they always have weird issues with their height. Whats bad is that sometimes taller girls, (like 6’1) get used to being around shorter men, so then they only go for short men. When i see an attractive 6′ woman with a shorter man, i get pretty ticked. why doesn’t the 5’8 man get A WOMAN under 5’8, theres billions of them. leave the tall women to tall men. its that simple. there are many MANY 5′ women in the world.
I am a 5’6″ male.I will say that I usually tend to look for shorter woman but I find all heights equally attractive.It is just a preference to me.But I think it is more of a social thing for girls.I did’t really think about this till last night when I had this smoking hot girl checking me out that is maybe two inches taller than me.If I am attracted to a girl that I think is attracted to me I usually dont have a problem talking to them but last night I just smiled back and stayed distant.I lost a chance to talk to a very attractive woman from being afraid of being turned down cause of being shorter.If I see her again.I think I’ll try to put my fear aside and go for it.I laugh at the short woman that say they only want a guy that is 6 ft or above.Grow up! (no pun intended)…
Oh and I think some of you guys complaining about being descriminated are just plain full of bs.I do not see this at all.Maybe in asia or what not.You remind me of the woman,blacks and mexicans that want equal rights but do nothing to deserve it.And I am not signaling out those groups.. just a select few in those groups that just like to cry and complain.Like you dont have nothing better to do?No wonder the woman are turning you down..
wow all this short talk is really interesting. im barely pushin 5’4 and sometimes find it difficult to get w the females im initially attracted to. i mean i usually dont have too much trouble finding good lookin females but it gets frustrating and confusing when everyone u know or meet thinks ur beautiful or extremely handsome and the women u want seem to not want u. i say this because i have gotten compliments like this and compliments on my personality and humor as well, but still get turned down by ladies my height, shorter and taller. i get frustrated because it seems so shallow to me. i mean, its not like im short and ugly or fat. i stay clean, naturally fit, blessed w good genes as far as everything else goes, but sometimes the height seems like a curse. to me its nuts that a woman would pass on a shorter guy that has everything goin for him except height, for a tall average guy, JUST BECAUSE HE IS TALL..its crazy to me.
also, i truly believe the whole short man tall man thing concerning our dick size is distorted in some ways. i have been told by many females that my dick was large, to my surprise. i was insecure about it b4 i started to have sex and really notice reactions and gettin comments like the above.
also, i dont feel it is right to criticize a man for not been attracted to a fat woman. a woman isnt born fat. i love all women but im not attracted to obese women. to me its a sign of personal neglect and lack of hygene in some cases. a fat person can work out and lose weight, a short person cant get taller. thats y i can say im not attracted to fat women.
AND,that women that deny shorter men JUST because of that, are shallow. obesity and height cant be compared. a short person gettin a curled lip or eyebrow from a woman wantin a taller man? that it nonsense. how can someone be held accountable for the genes they are born with. so i maintain my statement that women w these “preferences” are to some degree, shallow.
also..lol..
women talk about needing to feel protected. that makes me a little upset too because im naturally strong and physical, athletic. i played football for yrs, boxer, mixed martial arts. i’ve never had a taller guy get outta line w me without him being knocked on his ass. height as nothing to do with protection.im 5’4 180, 9% bodyfat. my unc is only 5’5 but like 250 mostly muscle, it must b a family thing. but i’ve seen him destroy ppl in the name of family. its just a misconception a lot of women have.
Thablock, I couldn’t agree with you anymore.
I was at work the other day. This girl asked me where I get my clothes. I said hunh? What do you mean where do I get my clothes. She said, “your designer jeans are the perfect length”. I was just amazed that somebody could ask such a shortsighted, doltish question. I was nice about it though. Just said, um a place called “the tailor” hems them for me. Funny thing is, I never ever have to look at the length when I buy pants. I just look for the waist, cause at 5ft 3, I always have to get them hemmed.
Short guys have had to put up with a lot of crap throughout their lives. Unless you’re a short guy living where a majority of the population is relatively diminutive, you’ve had to withstand a barrage of teasing about your size throughout your formative years. That builds a thick skin and also helps develop a healthy sense of humor. It’s unfair to a short guy when you name his size as a reason why you won’t date him—I mean, that’s just cruel.
And please don’t give me any crap about how you’d “have to lean down in order to kiss him, and that would be sooooo awkward,†because how do you think tall guys kiss short girls? Yeah. If they can lean forward a little bit, so can you.
I am tired of this: ‘If a woman said she will date only white male she not racist’ what do u people call racism then?? i understand if she said she wont date a short guy but it’s totally racist to exclud other races in dating . Short men i know we screwed but if u cant find any date PORN ARE MADE FOR U watch it if u really need to cum. SLUTS ARE ALSO THERE FOR U . Dont be running behind women like a dog and NEVER COMMIT SUICIDE BECAUSE OF WOMEN !!! u may do that for not getting jobs or not getting promoted. It’s their choises to do not date short men just like it’s your choice to date the kind of women u like. U CANT FORCE THEM , THAT’S NATURAL TO HATE SHORT PEOPLE AND FAT PEOPLE .
well, i don’t know what to say because i am dating with a guy shorter than me.. but, guess what? He is more caring and loving than my ex who is taller than me. I do agree with you that girl should not look down the shorter guys, they never give them a chance to show that they are better.. 🙂
Well, apparently, in Atlanta, Georgia where I come from, height always matters when it comes to dating, especially among young people. With me being 5’7 1/2″ to 5’8″, it is difficult to have a steady partner. Most guys often prefer girls who are 5’6″ or below, especially if their height is ranging from 5’8″ to over 6’0″. Sad but honest. I know it really stinks to be a tall, single female but it seems like it’s always going to be this way.
And also, whoever said that French women are taller than American women is wrong. From what I’ve found out, French women are shorter than American women on average, which is 5’1″ or 5’2″.
I read through all the postings and it stirred up lots of emotions inside of me. I’m 5’6″, in my 40’s and not too long ago married a wonderful woman and we now have two great kids. Let me just say this: I now feel like I spent too much of my life feeling resentful and angry over the heightism that exists in our society and over the rejections, real or imagined, that I experienced because of it, especially from women.
Yes, there are many people who have a real prejudice towards short men. Many women have this prejudice when it comes to dating. But you know what? Being bitter and angry about it now (and even when I was single) is like trying to get back at people for their attitudes by drinking poison. I’m in a place now where I simply refuse to surrender my happiness to other people who in the grand scheme of things, really have no meaning or importance in my life. I will simply do my best to live my life as best I can and to instill some strong values in my kids and to teach them that despite the heightism attitudes that exist out in the world, that their worth and value as human beings is not defined solely by their height. If that were ever to be true, then this world really would be a pathetic place.
It’s just too easy to let one’s short stature become a lifelong obsession, to the point that a person could spend their whole life being bitter about the hardships that come with being short, and turning over all of their power to obsessing over it. My advice – don’t let this happen to you. Trust me when I tell you, there are many men and women in this world who will accept you for who you are and see beyond your height. They are out there, and you will find them, if you have the right mental attitude and belief that you are more than just your height.
I am a 41 year old 4 feet 9inch tall male. My life seems to be a nightmare. Any advice for me.?
Albert
I found this story and I just had to comment. I’m a 41 year old man who’s approximately between 5’4†and 5’5†feet tall. I have suffered from height discrimination my entire life and every relationship I have been in expect my current one has ended with the woman cheating on me with taller men and leaving me. As you might guess I have a ton of baggage, hell I call it luggage, and I’m not exactly the most positive person with it comes to people in general. Short jokes aside I am the product of my environment and if I do come off as having “short man complex†so be it.
My ex was with me for 11 years and was considerably shorter than me (4’11) but left me for… you guessed it… a taller guy (he’s 5’10ish). One of her reasons for leaving was my height. She indicated that she needed to feel secure.. she needed a mate that would “protect herâ€. I remember thinking “wow, if I were to claim to need a woman with larger breasts and a tiny waistline I would be thought of as being in appropriateâ€. Well the truth is I don’t really care about a woman’s height or breasts. A few extra pounds is even ok. What I do care about is personality. In my experience few woman care more about personality, they seem to mostly consider looks first and foremost with height being the big deal.
I have had to work harder for everything I have earned in my life when compared to taller men of the same age group. Despite all this I am in middle management in my chosen field, happily and gainfully employed. Although I do make about 10% less then my counterparts in the organization who are taller….and I have a sneaking suspicion its their height and not their capabilities that got them more money. I will however just be happy to have a decent job.
My story seemingly has ended in a happy place however since I have found someone of the opposite gender who can love someone like me.
About 2.5 years ago I met a woman who was 4 years younger than me on an online dating site and after meeting we grew very close and fell in love. This person has proven that looks are not the only thing that she cares about, in fact she really does not care about looks, she’s less shallow then me. She’s essentially the same height as I am exactly and I have a feeling that is why it “worksâ€. She’s not too short for a woman so she never had to deal with height discrimination and she’s not taller than me. This combined with her life lessons made her ready to accept someone like me into her life. She is one in a million.
Height was never an issue between us and will never be one unless we have kids..since they will likely be short and have issues because of that.
However we are both middle aged now so maybe no kids.
She has dated taller men in the past, fact is she was married to one that was over 6 feet tall for a while. I suspect she tried out taller men and found that she wasn’t treated well and decided to give all men of all heights a shot when she met me.
Tall men tend to be more arrogant, physically abusive, and generally have poor sharing skills. They have always gotten what they wanted and thus do not have to work hard for anything. A generalization but one I can cite too many factual to so I will express the opinion.
While I can say that I am bitter that I didn’t meet what seems to be my best match until I was in my late 30s I am happy to not be alone looking in what really is a difficult dating world for short men.
Taller men have it easier because they are in demand. In my opinion its all about evolution and natural selection, we really are still bound by our instincts. The media and society just amplify this and in the end someone like me has a very tough time trying to find love.
Being short essentially means dating is much more difficult, so is finding a career and advancing in said career.
I know of a woman of average height who is looking for Mr. Right, she will only consider men above 5’10â€. She’s 43 going on 44 and has not ever been in a relationship for more than 2 years. She has not had the life lesson yet to understand that someone like me might not be so bad. Because of this I fear for any “place holder†short man she ends up dating.
My advice for short men like myself: Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve, Don’t even try to date women that are taller then you, Look for someone around your height (not much shorter not much taller) , and try to find someone that is truly ready to accept you for who you are. Do not become someone’s placeholder.
Nice post Louis.
Congratulations on finding a quality woman to share your life with. Good for you my friend! Not to sound negative, but I find that women within a 3 inch radius of being taller or shorter than my height 5’5, can be the most difficult and demanding of all women. I’ve met women my height, slightly shorter and slightly taller that would sooner label me as a half-man or little boy. Really tall girls, 5’10 or more are rarely accesible but it’s not like they are off limits. These women can be approached with confidence and honesty. They are an extreme few but they will respect you for that. In my experience, the women closer to 6’0 can be extremely mean, hurtful and insulting. Not just to short guys but short women too. Maybe this is why some short women feel they can treat short guys like garbage and disqualify us as men in favour of the taller guys. They get treated like garbage by the taller girls so they in turn do the same to short guys. The amazing thing is that all these women are tripping over themselves to get the attention of the tallest guy who usually is seen hand in hand with the shortest girl. Kinda strange indeed. I’ve met and worked with really tall women who think the world of themselves and never come down from that high pedestal. They look down at shorter people with disdainful looks as if we’re useless, disease ridden mistakes of life. I don’t discriminate height in women and I’m pretty safe to approach anyone. I don’t approach women with angry eyes wanting to burn a hole through my head.
Being a tall women is like the worst hell you can imagine. I think we often seem to have attitudes because we never got to be short, cute and and “liked” by boys. We get nasty comments and questions. We feel really insecure and nasty! We don’t like to talk to people or meet their eyes because we feel gross. I try to go to the grocery store really early so people don’t see me. If I see a young man ( under 21), I usually hurry away from him since they seem the most hateful! I would never smile at anyone (other than a baby). I don’t have a hateful stare, but do avoid eye contact!!! I do have to interact with people at work and I hate it!!!! I am 34, 5’11, and have never had a boyfriend or relationship. I’m no supermodel but I’m not obese or seriously ugly other than my size. Life is hard but I have found other things in life to enjoy and sometimes feel happy. Anyway if tall girls seem mean it’s just because we never learned to flirt,smile or feel confident because boys were mean to us when we were young!
that’s the thing i do not understand, life is hard for tall women and short men…precisly in relationship.
but when someone try to solve the problem by talking on a normal relation between tall girls and short guys we find all those comments…i really don’t understand why it’s not just normal? or is the right solution is to stay alone just because it’s incomfortable for people to see the difference?…coming for me no matter the people look..all that matter is the pricious moment with my loving soul!!!
I am a 43 year old 4 foot 9 inch tall male . I feel my life sucks. It’s very hard for me to find a girlfriend. Any advice for me?
There is no doubt that short people are victims of discrimination. It is what my website – http://www.supportfortheshort.org is all about. Short men in particular are victims of ‘Heightism’. Heightism is one of the most if not the most unrecognized pervasive prejudice in the world in my opinion. I noticed there are many comments here from women and some of them state that they would not date a man shorter than they are. I have no problems with that. Women can date who they want to date. What I do have problems with is the heightist attitude of society and the heightist attitude of many women towards short men. Short people and short men in particular are victims of discrimination; discrimination that no recognized group would ever tolerate under any conditions. Short people have:
Their competency questioned.
Their credibility questioned.
Their intelligence questioned.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but if you question someone’s competency, credibility, or intelligence based on their skin color, creed, sex, race, national origin, sexual orientation, etc. then you’re guilty of discrimination and there are laws to prevent that. The same should be true of height.
I very much appreciate the intelligent comments of guys like ‘Bruno’, ‘Carl’ and ‘Marcos’. We need more intelligent colloquy on the subject of heightism because the subject of heightism goes beyond dating. It extends into all aspects of life. The most popular sports are Football, Basketball, and WWE, sports that are designed only for Tall and large men. The short man is literally locked out of the board room. Fortune 500 CEO’s are by and large Tall men, and I could go on and on. It’s time for short people and short men in particular to view heightism as a prejudice, instead of a personal weakness to be dealt with exclusively and only on a personal level. I invite you to visit my website at http://www.supportfortheshort.org
Thanks,
Joe
I am a 4’11” female with a son headed for 5’4″ when fully grown. I really wish that there were sports leagues where there is a max height, just like weight class wrestling. My 10 yo son is holding his own in hockey but at 55 lb , it may be dangerous when checking starts.
I have looked into growth hormones, but likely we will not go this route, and even then at 5’7 he would not be average height, esp where we live where many people are of Dutch and German background.
If anyone has advice of what I can do as a parent to help him. I must admit in my youth I didn’t really gravitate toward shorter men, though I did date a man 5’6 long term, but since he was Italian his height was fairly normal among his peers. I actually never really met too many very short men.
I did find that men were often interested in me sexually, but as a long term love interest, there was less success. I wondered later if its the whole, I will have short children thing.
My son I would say is more attractive and intelligent than average, but besides the height he is also on the slim side structurally, and luckily he will never be fat as he is a bundle of energy. No-one in our families is particularly muscular.
ALMOST EVERYONE IS DISHONEST.
It must be said that women are just as shallow, if not more than men any time the subject of height comes into play. Short ladies are the most demanding from my experience and they’re the ones usually preferring the really tall guys. The same thing goes for the taller women who refuse to date any man shorter than they are. There are short guys I know who won’t approach taller ladies because they feel it’s an exercise in failure. There’s always the thought of being rejected by the taller lady because the short guy doesn’t measure up in her eyes. Exactly the reason why some tall ladies are single. This has never stopped me from approaching them because a lot of these women have no choice but to date a shorter man. It’s not like the world is densely populated with tall guys over six feet and any woman who fails to realize that there are quality short men, deserves to be alone. It’s totally ok to have a preference, but physical features will only get you so far.
FYI I’m 5’7, black, British/Jamaican/African/Canadian
What is this silly debate about? If someone complains about your height/weight when you are going out, then it obviously mean that you are not on the same wavelenght, i.e not made for each other. When you appreciate someone, these silly details don’t matter (if they do, there is more vanity than actual liking/love!).
So instead of being resentful towards people who CAN’T/DON’T appreciate your being whatever you are, get on with your daily life. A positive attitude to yourself and others is the first step of social attraction. If before even looking at a woman/man your mind go scripting that he or she will be put off by your height, then you are undermining the other’s intelligence and putting him/her off. Don’t get surprised then if you get rejected! (because of your prejudicing attitude, and NOT because of your height!)
People should also stop reading stupid magazine telling us about what we should like and what is “trendy/acceptable”. Feel your emotions, don’t copy/paste them from Men’s health and others!
~From a 5ft3 lady who doesn’t care one bit about people’s height before asking them out…~
You people really need to wake up and stop blaming everyone for whatever it is you are complaining about. Women are not shallow, they for the most part don’t care about looks, believe me, I talk from experience. I am on the very short side, I am married to a woman 6 feet tall, blond, amazon, the works you name it, and we have 3 2 kids now. Thing is, I always had the right attitude and I was always able to find a woman. For all the short young kids out there that think they don’t have a chance, all I can say, you write your own destiny. I can tell you the secret, but unless you figure it out for yourself, it would be of zero value.
See you on the other side…
Davids
I don’t blame or hate girls for not wanting to be with a shorter guy. Just like I don’t want to be with a girl a lot taller than me. I tried it and just didn’t like maybe it could have been her personality….whatever. I like small short girls and there’s nothing wrong with it. Don’t like girls that are way out of shape either, it’s my preference. For the most part, we can choose who we want to date. Just like the ladies that don’t want to date a shorter guy.
“You people really need to wake up and stop blaming everyone for whatever it is you are complaining about. Women are not shallow, they for the most part don’t care about looks, believe me, I talk from experience. I am on the very short side, I am married to a woman 6 feet tall, blond, amazon, the works you name it, and we have 3 2 kids now. Thing is, I always had the right attitude and I was always able to find a woman. For all the short young kids out there that think they don’t have a chance, all I can say, you write your own destiny. I can tell you the secret, but unless you figure it out for yourself, it would be of zero value.”
David, I have to disagree with you. Women and men are shallow alike, but I believe that women are much more shallow when it comes to a man’s physical appearance. Every woman cares about a man’s physical appearance until they reach the age when their own diminishing looks can’t dictate the men they used to be able to pick and choose from. Congratulations to you on your marriage, but most taller women are not as opened minded to date a shorter man, let alone marry one like your lady was with you. This is a fact of evolution. It’s called “Social Darwinism,” or “Heightism” to be specific. It’s no secret that confidence conquers all but not always. A short man with confidence is often passed off as annoying and Napoleanic with short man syndrome. Taller men don’t need to concern themselves with confidence because their height immediately gets their foot in the door. That being said, any woman short or tall who doesn’t measure a man’s confidence based on his height will always get my respect. Truth be told, a mature, confident, tall woman doesn’t care about a man’s height because her image is not dependent on the man she chooses to date.
I’m sorry I cannot be more sypathetic to this author’s sob story. Maybe it’s because as a woman with hypothyroidism who works out 5 days a week just to stay at a size 18, I’ve been treated as a lepper from guys at bars to some of my closest guy friends. Yes dating sucks. Short men, overweight women – how we treat both says a lot about our culture. For every, “he lied about his height…” there are 20 “she lied about her weight…” So trust me, men will always win the “Most Superficial” contest (oh I’m sorry the PC term is “more visual”).
Yeah these women that constantly complain about men’s height or always has something to complain about a man has themselves serious self esteem issues, really low confidence in themselves and so they compensate their insecurities, low confidence and self esteem issues with male bashing to their “girlfriends”. Yes it’s a fact that a lot of men don’t like “heavy women” but yet most men as made up through the media also don’t like super skinny women i.e. anorexic women or also women that are the extremly picky eaters and constant “calorie” watchers. But the “heavy women” can lose the weight yes we all know women get angry and pissed when men say we don’t like the heavy women but at the same time it goes out in one ear and out the next when women hear when men get pissed about women constantly bashing men’s height.
You don’t see men put on the internet I refuse to ever date a “fatty” we refuse to date heavy women. Men are discreet about that and will just pass those type. But women are CERTAINLY not at all discreet about men’s height. They want the whole effin world to know they don’t want anything to do with a shorter man. It’s like they must put up this whole bill board saying we won’t date men on the shorter side. Oh yeah and I’s not talking about men that are 5’3″ to say 5’5″ plus when do you seriously see a man that is actually 5’3″ or 5’4″ seriously????? Not often at all/rarely!! But anyways it’s like 5’6″ and even some up to like 5’10”, 5’11” even while she is all of 5’1″ to like 5’4″. These women that are constant bitchers about men’s height are also so unsure of themselves. I agree with the article about stepping ladder, etc. and it is just in women’s head about men’s height. The argument about “protection”, I always like to wear high heels blah blah blah… Is soooo LAME.
I agree MO. I am 5 “2”.
Women refuse to date heavy men too because they’re bombarded by images of airbrushed, fit, muscular men.
not true for all women..:) I prefer a husky guy than a toothpick looking man…women can sometimes be so stubborn
First of all, weight isn’t the same as height. You can gain and lose weight at will. So when a person is overweight, it really does reflect their lack of discipline with diet and exercise. In a broader sense, it suggests overindulgence. So yeah, I won’t date an overweight woman. Because if I have to go to the gym 15 hours a week to keep in shape, it’s not too much to expect a woman to commit 5 hours a week to cardio exercise and to watch what she eats. It’s fair. And same works for guys, too. If a woman refused to date a fat guy, I would applaud her! Every person has the responsibility to take care of their body for their own sake.
But there’s nothing that men can do about their height! If a guy doesn’t grow up to be above the 40th percentile for height, it’s by no fault of his own. So please don’t compare men’s superficiality with that of women. (men who judge women based on breast size or other features are called “pigs”. No one approves of that criteria.)
That said, I don’t blame women for not being interested in guys that are shorter than them. But what boggles me is how couples are getting exceedingly incompatible in height. I find it ridiculous that 5′ women go after 6’4″ guys. Are they looking for intimacy or just a sex toy? Anything over 6 inches in difference is just laughable. Even I – being a tad below average at 5’9.5″ – can’t imagine being with a girl shorter than 5’3″. The only reason men date women so much shorter than them is because they get a smug satisfaction from the attention showered on them. And in marriage, I know many women who hate having to physically look up at someone who they mentally look down on.
So please, everyone, do humanity a favor and date your own size – not your fantasy!
Hello, women are pigs for judging for penis size and other features too.
Uh huh.. like a man doesn’t judge breast size? I am a 28yo female who is 5’1″ and men always comment on my height, although this is usually after I have given them the flick. Men are just as bad. Enough already boys. Judging anyone by their height is wrong and I have heard many men comment on a woman’s height, too short or too tall… so I am failing to understand why a woman can’t be just as picky.
Mike your thought is just sad. You judge people and assume that every heavy person out there is lazy, lacks self discipline etc..and that is really messed up. Here is something you may find shocking-I am a 28 year old female, healthy, eat well and stay active, and I am. A beautiful sexy size 18. I am 5 foot 8 and guess what? My boyfriend is 5 foot 5, in shape, and a soccer/hockey/and basketball player. I am his first chubby and tall gf and not once has my height/weight been an issue for him and not once has his height been an issue for me. He loves me for me and treats me like a queen. Not once has it ever been weird, and being with him makes me feel the most beautiful and most loved I have ever felt. You have a very messed up way of thinking, but it is understandable because majority of society is filled with shallow narrow minded assholes like you.
“So please, everyone, do humanity a favor and date your own size – not your fantasy!”
I don’t agree with this stuff here. Date someone your own size? This is almost as bad as telling someone to date within their own race or country. Obviously you are a boring person following the plain-jane rules of society. A person that never dares to be different concocts this kind of drivel. What happened to people loving each other for who they are aside from the physical nature rather than loving someone because the world tells you that you “have” to love someone? You don’t blame women for not liking shorter guys yet you applaud the discrimination against fat people? Nonsense man! Not everyone can control their weight to a tee and there is no universal definition of what is skinny, fat or obese. What right do you have to judge what is “normal,” and what is “fantasy?” There’s too much emphasis on the picture perfect image couple defined by Hollywood in this world. You sound insecure and superficial by laughing at couples that appear contrary to “your” norm. There are extremes in height difference that do look obtuse to some, but who are we to judge someone else’s happiness. To each his own. Maybe you should think about that a little bit more.
“Men are very sensitive to women’s attractiveness. Women seem to be sensitive to men’s height and salary” – Dan Ariely, Professor of Psychology at Duke University
Women are sensitive about a man’s attractiveness, height, education, and salary. Men are sensitive about a woman’s attractiveness, height, education, and salary too. Men tend to want lower status women. Women want higher status men.
I’ve recently started dating a man who is 5’3″ while I’m 5’10.5″. It’s the healthiest, most fulfilling relationship I’ve ever had. I’m confident and recognized his awesome traits. We’re both really happy!
Be careful Clare, your 7.5 inch height difference from your man might offend Mike. He’s seems pretty sold on labeling obstuse height couples as freaks with fetishes. It’s a total North American image fixation if you ask me because the European women I’ve met have told me that a man’s height never matters. Confidence, personality and cleanliness are far more important traits according to them. I don’t believe it’s entirely true that European women don’t care about height but it’s definitely not as big a deal compared to the opinions from U.S. women. Good to hear that you’ve found happiness regardless of the height of the man in your life. I won’t lie though, he’s 5’3, I’m 5’5 and just a little bit jealous LOL, but happy for you both.
I am 46 years old, and 5′ 9.5″. Being above average in height for a woman, I have always had a preference for men who are taller than me. Perhaps that is because being with a taller man made me feel smaller and protected? Or maybe it was because tall men seemed more virile to me. Whatever the reason, here I am, 46, single again after a 12 year marriage and not doing so well at this dating thing…or at finding my Mr. Right. I recently met and started dating a man who is 5’7″. I have to admit, that when I first met him I questioned if I could really bring myself to date someone shorter than me. But I very quickly realized what a wonderful man he is, better than any man I have met in a very, very long time. We are so compatible and he is someone that I feel I could spend the rest of my life with. So I am thankful that I was smart enough not to pass up the chance to be with a man who makes me happy just because he is shorter than me.
Open your eyes, love is out there waiting for you, if you would just stop looking at the outside and focus on the inside! I feel truly blessed to have found this man with such a big heart. And yes, great things do come in small packages.
No disrespect to you Karen and congratulations on finding happiness in your life once again. Not surprisingly, your post speaks loudly of many postmenopausal women. Why all of a sudden are short men “dateworthy” and attractive? The reason? Your diminishing looks and age doesn’t give you the ability to freely pick and choose from the crop of most desirable tall guys. The only guys left for you to date are the short ones who you shortchanged earlier in life. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met beautiful, older, mature women who get more attention from guys than the younger girls. Most won’t pay attention to you unless you belong to a Cougar club that cators to providing young guys for this purpose. Isn’t it funny how companionship, compatability and stimulating conversation are all of a sudden desirable traits that older women adamantly state are most important in a man? I guess all of you were lying to yourselves all this time by focusing on a man’s height and not the quality of a his heart? Sorry, but I don’t sympathize in the least bit for women who have married, divorced and remarried more times than they can count on one hand, who now in their older years seek the goodness of a short guy? All too superficial.
You are such a dooshbag.
Well Sam, I first have to explain to you that at the age of 46, it is rare that a woman would be post-menopausal. The correct term you are looking for is pre-menopausal, and there is a big difference.
If one is lucky, with age comes the wisdom and the understanding to appreciate a person for who they are rather that what they look like. I am glad that the passing of time along with life/relationship experiences have afforded me this privilege. If you could see me, you would see that I do not look 46, I am mistaken for early 30s all the time. No one believes me when I tell them my age. I used to model when I was younger and continue to receive offers to model even now. Men of all ages, heights, and sizes continue to pursue me but I prefer to date men my age as I find I don’t have as much in common with men much younger or much older than me. (Does that mean I discriminate?) I have always had my pick of pretty much any man I want and I still do, including all the tall ones. That has not changed but what has changed is me. I am no longer content to be in unfulfilling relationships. My experiences have been that most men (regardless of stature) are only interested in the outside package and not the contents. More and more, older men are looking for younger women to help restore that feeling of youth and virility for which they are mourning the loss.
Yes, I have made errors in my past judgments of people and I have learned from the mistakes of my youth. Isn’t that the point? The man I am with now has taken the time to look beyond my physical beauty and to get to know me and love me, and with him I share a compatibility and deep connection that I have not experienced with another in a very long time. He possesses all of the qualities I am looking for and it just so happens that he is shorter than me, but his height is irrelevant. The point of my previous post was to say that if people are really interesting in finding true and lasting love, they need to stop being so narrow minded and superficial – a lesson that I have learned and wanted to share with others.
From reading your previous posts Sam, you sound bitter. My hope for you is that the love of a wonderful woman will someday heal that for you.
Cheers 🙂
You go girl 🙂
Excuse me, but doesn’t the years after menopause qualify as having the “post” prefix attached to it? Isn’t pre-menopause associated with the slowing down of a woman’s menstral cycle, mid 30’s to 40’s? Maybe I’m just too immature to understand LOL! I’m not going to get into the medical specifics but kudos and praise to you for admitting your mistakes in your youth. We all makes mistakes but owning up to them is a different story.
Forgive me if I came across as harsh, but after reading your post about taller men seeming more “virile,” and you needing to feel “protected” by the taller man was not encouraging to me. The fact that you admitted questioning your self-assurance with this shorter guy directly says you were a heightist. Maybe you are reformed now, but how much? When you boldly say your new man has taken the time to look past your physical beauty tells me that you wallow in your own arrogance. Not once did you mention anything about him other than he’s wonderful, yet you described tall men as being more virile which directly discriminates against short men. I still don’t understand this Neanderthal mentality that women need from taller men to feel protected and secure. Yes, you should be thankful that you put your shallow guard down and looked past his height. I just hope you’re not like a leopard, changing your heightist spots to include this guy in your life. Once a heightist, always a heightist, forever a heightist.
If you’ve truly found love with your man, congratulations to you and good on you. By the way, I’m not bitter. I just get annoyed when I read posts of women giving shorter men a “chance,” rather than a mutual feeling of attraction between two people. Women who say they give shorter men or men in general, a “chance,” sounds like you’re settling for what you don’t want and hoping for the best in a mate. I’d rather not be with a woman who just wants to give me a “chance,” hoping to find companionship. I’ve had my heart broken many times before and I’m past the age of superficialities just like you. Maybe it’s the word “chance” itself that’s annoying to me because it’s not like you ladies go for what you want and do the asking. You do all the choosing. All of you have a stronger fear of rejection and never make the first move. In your days of youth, was it more often the tall guys you gave more “chances” and pissed on the short guys for even daring to pretend? Sure sounds like it. Another thing, the love of a woman has no comparison to the love of the living God. Women nor men possess those kind of healing powers.
Maybe you just need to get some self confidence and not worry about what others say and think????
Sam!!! You are awesome, a man after my own heart! Yes, I too believe with all my heart that the love of a man or woman is NO comparison to the love and healing powers of the one and only living God! And I do believe that when you put your trust in God, he will bring the right man or woman into your life who will help to heal your broken heart. 🙂
I agree with you on so many of your points, but just to clarify, I said that when I was younger “perhaps” being with a taller man made me feel protected, but I cannot say for sure. Honestly, I just don’t know why the preferences of my youth were geared toward taller men and were more superficial in general….chalk it up to the ignorance of youth. But I can say that all of the mistakes I made in my past relationships with men have opened my mind in so many ways and I now view every man equally, regardless of their age, height, size, or even financial staus. I see each of them as having the potential to be the yin to my yang, and it truly has nothing to do with vanishing looks due to my age, and everything to do with wanting a real relationship based on love, compatibility, trust, sincerity, respect and compassion. I now realize that whatever it took to bring me to this point in my life, I am thankful to God that he brought me through it, and I have learned the lesson that he wanted to teach me. I hope others are fortunate enough to experience the same. <3
my boyfriend is the same height as me, if not a tiny bit shorter. when we first started dating, i wished he would grow just 2 inches so bad and i can’t even remember why. i used to be really into tall guys but dating this 5’6″ guy was probably the best thing i could have ever done. he’s my best friend and the sweetest most considerate guy i’ve ever met. one of the nany things i appreciate about his is that he’s never EVER told me to wear flats because he felt uncomfortable with me being taller than him. he’s never tried to change me to compensate for his insecurities. i’ve been with him almost two years now and wouldn’t mind making it forever. i love him exactly the way he is. i wouldn’t change a thing about him if i could, especially not his height. that would be saying he isn’t good enough for me when in reality he’s way too good for me. i love wearing heels on special occasions, so yeah, i’m way taller than him sometimes but i tell anybody that has anything to say about that they can kiss my freakin ass because they’re the ones complaining about their so called boyfriends cheating on them and disrespecting them. people that hold their nose up against dating short-ish guys are exactly the reason why i’m so blessed to have the one that i do so thanks to all the shallow ladies that passed him up because he was too short. and yeah, i understand why ladies prefer tall guys, as i used to be one of them, but to hold something against someone that isn’t their fault, isn’t something they could change and isn’t even a bad thing is small-minded, shallow, cruel and extremely disrespectful. good luck finding a man who won’t treat you with the same contempt.
Hey Karen, nice response. Isn’t hope a wonderful thing?! Hope in the coming of Christ is made that much more beautiful everyday by faith in the Father Almighty! This in essence has allowed me to deal with the difficulties and superficialities of life, that much easier. Heightism is rampant in this world and I’ve experienced enough of this type of discrimination to know that it isn’t dissapearing anytime soon. Surprisingly I’ve experienced less discrimination for being a black man as opposed to being a short black man. Truthfully, I’ve never had a strict preference or body type in a woman, even from highschool through post secondary education through my current adult life. Women shorter than my 5’5 frame have likely given me a complex because I’ve never been tall enough for them. I know it’s wrong to carry over any feelings of discontent to women that don’t know me who may have shown interest in at first sight, me and I’ve tried my best not to. At the same time the slightly taller than average girls, 5’4 – 5’8 were just as bad in their demands for men to be taller than they are, so they ruled me out too. As for the taller than average girls, 5’9 – 6’0 +, lets just say I’ve had minimal luck, but nothing to write home about. I’ve met super tall ladies who enjoyed my company but would never consider me worthy as a mate and pass me off as an acquaintance. You know these types. People who knows you but don’t include you in their circle of friends. At the same time, these tallest of the tall ladies are often the cruelest with their comments towards the shorter guys as if we have the nerve to even try talking to them. I’m glad that you’ve had an awakening in your life with respect to treating all men equally. Making mistakes is a natural part of life. Learning from them is a different story though. So if I came across as harsh to you, I apologize, but not without reason. Height is a touchy subject, and if you’re not considered a short person, you wouldn’t have the slightest idea of what we go through on a daily basis. You yourself almost passed up a good man because of his height but you didn’t, which is great. Personally, I haven’t given up on finding a good woman because I just might find her in heaven. I have given up on finding a good woman on this earth because our society is changing all of Gods rules to suit their own needs. Instead, my relationship with myself and God is more important. HE will bring me to the right people, man and woman, in my journey of life.
Well said Sam, and I completely understand why you came across as harsh. On behalf of the entire female race, I would like to apologize to you and all men who have been discriminated against by women based on your physical appearance. Ironically, women have been griping for years about men being focused on finding the physically perfect woman, and now we women are doing the same to men! It is brutal and self-centered and it often makes me ashamed to be a woman.
I was ready to give up on love, and then my wonderful man came along. Keep your heart open Sam, and I know she will come.
No need to apologize Karen. You are only one woman and there aren’t many like you that have the inner strength to actually apologize on behalf of the female race. Thank-you, very much appreciated, but not necessary.
My heart is always open Karen. It belongs to GOD and nobody else. It has nothing to do with relationships involving women either. I’ve tried that route for years and years and years unsuccessfully. Really, it has nothing to do with giving up or quitting on love, but everything to do with learning to make myself happy with the best of every life situation. Some men are born to be in relationships, make and raise children and provide stability for a family. Others are born to lead a single, faithful life as good people and I believe I’m one of them. Why fight the inevitable? I’ve discovered that life is way too short to waste time looking for love or expecting love to find you. Not surprisingly the unhappiest times of my life involved relationships with women or making attempted relationships with women. I’ve stopped worrying about trying to find a lifelong partner, trying to hold on to that lifelong partner, trying to provide for that lifelong partner, dealing with libidos, infidelity and the ramifications of careless, emotionless, physical intimacy. I’ve seen enough kids destroyed by broken families, custody wars, child support and bad parenting overall. I don’t want that and I’d never want any of that for any kid.
So to conlude, I will never be alone with GOD on my side. I’m just past the point of desiring companionship with the opposite sex. It leaves no room for dissapointment. Relationships with men and women are weak and miniscule compared to finding the inner peace within yourself and connecting with the spirit world. GOD will bring the right PEOPLE to me, women or men. If not in this lifetime, he will in the next. Enjoy!
I know your experiences and views are not exactly the same as mine but it’s nice to see another who believes in the possibility of relationships after this life.
Most seem not to. Which seems odd to me as I don’t get where that comes from. God being super natural and giving us natural things like love, relationships, marriage why these are assumed non existent in the here after. I’m a 5’4 male and found the honorable traits like, honesty, respect, common curtiousy are seen as weak and naive. The do unto others has not been returned but a lifetime of disrespect and harassment simply for existing in a height & skin color body others view as less is the reason enough to smash me.
Mostly males but some women. Dating sites where no woman’s ideal match describes me makes me feel I’d never really be what they want no matter what & probably disrespected as well or simply used. Who wants to be undesired and where they are not wanted. So anyway, I’m now 42 & lost passion for anything, unhappy bitter guy. That just seals the deal to remaining alone. Just like the height was out of my control so was broken home, no siblings, military brat entire childhood moving. So I completely missed all normal needed opportunities for social developement & circles. As an adult it led me to be an easy target short, alone & naive of ppl and the city. To being the target of harrasment, con artists and crime. So I can’t really trust others or be the kind happy guy I want as happiness and kindness opens you up and draws more harm. Many other uncontrollable failures make it seem life beats you down less when you stay locked in the house limiting your exposure to people and experiences. But at least death with bring new possibilities. A place where you are accepted and belong. Even if it still is without a mate. Since the possibilities are endless in what awaits. I don’t like the human race simply because of the way we act and so look forward to all the hurtfulness to be cleansed and over. I pray for all but frankly currently have no desire to ever see or interact with the majority of ppl I’ve ever met. Unjust harrassment for decades loops memories of people, places & events and makes me very very angry with disrespectful individuals. Psychotic and it really is/was not my nature. Best wishes to all of you though.
Hi Gerald,
Here’s my advice for you. Keep your head up and find your inner-self first. Don’t judge the entire female race based on a few bad past experiences. It’s definitely not the right thing to do. What keeps me going in this world is not putting my faith or trust in women but in GOD first and foremost. Women will dissapoint and hurt you if you allow them to. Some even take great pride in being hurtful to short guys just because they have nothing better to do with their sorry lives. Others have had bad relationships with short guys and take it out on everyone else which is wrong. The best thing to do is treat the next woman you meet with respect, be open and honest to her and yourself before passing judgement. Don’t make life harder than it is by accepting defeat and embracing self-pity. There are good women in this world. I know it may seem far-fetched but quality ladies do exist. I’ve learned to embrace my height as an effective tool in establishing relationships with people. Women who pick and choose their relationships with men based on his height usually have their own issues. They aren’t worth any good man’s love or time. Quitting on women is one thing, but don’t quit on yourself my friend. GOD has not quit on you.
Peace
“For every, “he lied about his height…†there are 20 “she lied about her weight…†”
Umm bullshit. I’ve never known the weight of any of the people I’ve dated. However I have been rejected for being “short”.
Try using common sense next time, and if someone is overweight there is always exercise and eating properly.
AMERICAN WOMAN ONLY LIKE TALL GUYS, BECAUSE THEY HAVE MORE MONEY THAN SMALLER GUYS: IT COULD BE ABOUT MONEY, IS WHY MOST WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO HEFNER BECAUSE HE HAS MONEY: COULD SIMPLY BE ABOUT $.
Sam
While you still harped on the fact that once women get older and lose their looks they are more likely to give men chances you completely skipped:
My experiences have been that most men (regardless of stature) are only interested in the outside package and not the contents. More and more, older men are looking for younger women to help restore that feeling of youth and virility for which they are mourning the loss.
I think you have it the other way around Udolpixie.
Women of all ages obsess over tall men, so they’re the ones who can’t look past the physical and concentrate on the mental. There are enough posts from women on this forum and others to validate this. Not surprisingly as these women have gotten older and matured, they’ve started to care less about what society says and are paying more attention to what matters most to them. Love, companionship and happiness. Hey, I don’t blame some older guys for demanding the young girls. Now, it’s their time to be pick and choose after years of being written off by women. I’m certainly not one of those guys chasing after a little girl, but most definitely a confident, educated, mature woman. Right now, I’m actually looking forward to hitting the retirement age. With God on my side and perhaps a bit of luck, I just might be able to find a wife who’ll want to spend quality time with me during my last remaining years on earth. It’s certainly not happening now and I’m not going out of my way to find it when so many modern women are way too concerned with reaffirming their femininity through tall men.
I think you have real issues Sam. You’re bordering on being obsessed and you’re missing many points. Yes SOME woman may want a taller man.. so what? and SOME woman don’t care about a mans height..
ALOT of men judge woman on their physical appearance. How do I know this? years and years of dating and lots of male friends that have told me so. Men are incredibly superficial, not all… but most. I have so many gorgeous female friends in their 20’s with (sorry to say) overweight, unattractive and sometimes short men. So what exactly is your point???? WHO CARES if some woman wants a tall man. Get over it! Get some self confidence, hold your head up and forget what other people want and prefer. If you weren’t so self conscious about it, people probably wouldn’t notice your height so much. A man who is confident, is a sexy man…
I’m a short girl and have been bullied all my life (mostly by men) but I don’t start going on about it accusing every man of being a heightest pig. One thing I will say is being a blonde female, usually means your only good for one thing. Hmmm maybe I should start a blog and rant and rave about that? You can’t judge everyone based on a few experiences. Besides, everyone has the right to have a “type”. Don’t try and control it, it’s…. creepy.
Hey Miss C, you know what I’m obsessed about? Finding and meeting good people in this world, women and men who treat others as they would like to be treated. That’s my lifelong obsession. Being good and doing good to others when there’s so much war and hate and discrimination.
When you say “some” women don’t care about a man’s height, I strongly believe the reality is more like “very few” don’t care about a man’s height. Not to say they don’t exist even though the amount of ladies I’ve met who don’t care about height I can count on one hand. I’ve got short and tall male friends who totally agree with me. What I’ve learned with aging is that height and physical appearance become less important traits in a person on both sides. This is the reason why I politely joked about getting married after 65. Seniors don’t care about looks as much as younger people who are often preoccupied with everyone eles’s opinion and who they are seen with. This really shouldn’t matter but unfortunately it does. If I offended you in anyway, I apologize.
I’m concious of my height because of past and present experiences with both men and women who have used it as an excuse against me. How can I not be? It certainly doesn’t shape how I treat others now, but I’m alot more aware of shallow, ignorant people who aren’t worth the time or energy. BTW I don’t judge everyone I meet based on a few bad situations. I think you misread or misinterpreted what I said. Yes it may be a little harsh, but I still believe most modern women constantly search for the market for the tallest mate to make them feel more feminine. Our society is heavily influenced by the media and they often dictate what is right and wrong for everone. You are right, everyone has a right to have a type, BUT, nobody is nobody’s type until you really seek out the inside of a person. Looks will only get you so far in life. You wanna know something else. I’ve been treated worse for being short rather than for being black and short.
I am dating a short (5’7″) man who is the sweetest guy. I am only 5′ myself, but after negative experiences with a (5’5″) husband, and good experiences with a 5’9″ man, I decided that “taller is better.” The measure of a man is NOT his height, and I am ashamed of myself for thinking so.
Being a 22 year old im hoping ive fone all my growing as i currently stand at 5’11”. Ive always been very aware of my height as my family are smaller than me and most of my friends are shorter. And the fact that around my city the women on average are about 5’3″-5’6″ max, I feel quite awkward.
I’ve always gone for men as tall as i can, the last guy i dated was about my height. And I had bad luck with them all.
The guy I’m seeing now is about 5’7/8″ i think, and he is very light framed. He’s funny and confident and charming and very sweet. I am aware of the awkwardness, and as its early, we’ve not gone for any PDAs really, i think we’re both a bit shy about it, and what friends might say. (Random people dont matter to me) But at the end of the day, Im happy and so is he, we’ve both been in a really good place since seeing each other, so if you are brave enough to brush off childish people laughing or teasing, then i’d say there’s nothing wrong with shorter men.
I came across this article and I can honestly say I was one of those stubborn women embarrassed if a guy I was dating was even an inch shorter than I. Until, I met the most loving, honest and wonderful person ever he is let me be honest a whole lot shorter than an inch shorter than I. I am 5’8 and he is 5″4 at the most but I saw past all that when I got a chance to really get to know him and I couldn’t help but fall head over heels. Although, I do hear people say a few things or even catch a laugh or two I try not to let it bother me. Women really do need to look past little things like that cause they may be missing out on a good thing in their life..like you said small things do come in small packages:)
Let us say a girl find a taller guy.
now how tall is this guy if i compare to Eiffel Tower(height defined for objects so took eiffel tower for compare).
this guy is very tiny when i look in that way. since that guy is tiny for me whether i can ask him to go out of this world.
love cannot estimated from appearance & structure.
those who gives more importance to physical appearance & structure, they are fool who is going to loose their really lovable partner.
I guess dating with smaller men is not a big deal at all… It depends on how a man carries himself. It’s about believing in his self that he may be small, but there is more behind this. In love, Height doesn’t matter… because if you really love the person you will accept him for whatever he is.
Interesting topic we have here! well, as for me, I don’t think that there is something wrong with dating shorter men. Actually i find it cute. We should never underestimate someone just because of their height. We do not know their story and what he is capable of. Being with someone is more than the physical aspect.
i’m a bit lost is this a american thing?
not trying to be racist so sorry if i offend anyone but where i’m from (new zealand) height has never been a problem alot of my friends date shorter men and think nothing of it..infact i’m only shorter then my partner because i actualy am short haha he’s 5ft7 and i’m 5ft5.
i have dated very tall men and i found them too placid.. its some weird thing that comes with the hight there like mellow giraffes.
i love the fact that my partners arrogant and sarcastic i dont care about his hight aslong as he’ll come to movies with me make fun of everything and play left for dead 2 with me
Something to think about:
Do you only pursue taller women or is it only these taller women rejecting you? Because if its the case that you’re still single because you’re only approaching taller women than maybe you should think about why it is you’re not going for women shorter than you.
I personally don’t understand why a man would want to date a woman taller than him, almost as much as why women find shorter men a turn off.
Hi Jasmine.
FYI, I’ve been rejected by more short girls who immediately categorize me as not tall enough. The shoes often make or break the relationships. At the same time there’s taller women who live by the same rule of thumb being that the man must be taller when the high heels come out and play. Thankfully it’s not always the case. A taller girl I dated once told me that she prefered shorter guys because she liked it when a man has to look up at her and pay attention. I guess that’s a confidence thing. Confident people keep their heads up high but not with their noses in the air. Some tall women have no choice but to look down and welcome a good shorter guy into her life. The same tall guys the shorter ladies chase after often feel threatened or demasculated by taller women so the short girls get first choice. If height isn’t an issue to a woman dating a shorter man, he will treat her like the queen she is unless he’s got issues with her height. I can’t see how a confident short guy would have issues with a taller girl, especially if he approached her first for a date.
I personally don’t understand why women go through the pain of cramming their feet into pointy high heel shoes, just to appear taller. Women with beautiful feet don’t ruin them by constantly shoving them into high heels 24-7-365.
I am 23 and 5’5″. Men are usually okay with me, I get on well with most other guys. They accept me for who I am for the most part, and I rarely have issues with men mocking my height or my physical appearance in any way. On the rare occasion that they do, it is usually harmless and could be dismissed as friendly ‘chit-chat.’ Most women, on the other hand, seem to somehow feel threatened by my height. The majority of times, they will react in one of two ways; with insult, or condescension. In bars and clubs I am fair game for thinly-veiled insults such as “Are you old enough to be in here?” and in social situations I often receive comments such as “Awww, you’re so cute! You only look about 14!” I am not sure which is worse, because at least the former can be seen as what it is, an insult, while the latter blurs the line between complement and insult, which is, in a way, even more offensive.
I hardly ever get these kinds of comments or issues from other men, and am generally treated as an equal. I always enjoy being out with my male friends and have a good time, without feeling insecure. I have a few tall male friends, on the 6’+ side, who have never once commented on my height in the years that I’ve known them.
Women are the problem. It is ironic that women and feminists are constantly complaining about the emphasis on a woman’s physical attractiveness, when it is women themselves who seem to have this disgusting discriminatory issue with a man’s height. Perhaps they feel threatened of the embarrassment they’d suffer if I were to approach one of them? Don’t count on it, ladies, I’d rather my right hand any day than some shallow, feeble-minded sheep who wants in a man whatever the TV has conditioned her to desire.
It is rather funny how life is turning out so much to be a boring cliché. I only ever receive attention from overweight women. Even short, thin, unattractive women don’t seem to consider me – even though I don’t think I am a bad looking guy at all myself. It’s almost as if the overweight women view me as a fellow “physically disadvantaged” person and therefore think I will be interested in them. My personality isn’t an issue either. This ranting post may make me come across as bitter, but anyone who knows me knows that I am a very nice guy. Maybe a little too shy for my own good, but I will talk if someone is worth talking to. Unfortunately, most women are so shallow that it’ll never get that far and I will be dismissed right off the bat.
That’s enough for now I think.
@ a short man, regarding the overweight women. Lol, I have that same experience often. Wonder why that is.
Really dumb stuff am reading here. Why complain about who a women wants to date? It won’t change anything. Women can date who they want, does not make them superficial, shallow or whatever. Fact is, you an get any woman if you know what women are truly are after, and one thing they don’t want is little complainers blaming them for your hard times, feeling sorry for themselves and being pathetic. Looks to me that many men here are using their short height as an excuse for not dating women becuse deep down inside they really are gay. Nothing wrong with that, just stop pretending and go get yourselves some man 2 man ass fun.
Hey Matt, you are absolutely right. Women have the right to choose and discriminate the men they want to date. Not arguing anything about that because we guys have the right to approach and talk to who we want to as well. I disagree about your comment about women not being shallow because quite frankly, a lot of them are. Men are too. We are all shallow as humans, some just a lot more than others. My concern is the women who disqualified me as dating potential because of my height when I was younger. Now that I’m older and these women are older as well with fading looks, they see fit to give me the time of day to get married, have kids and divorce me when the kids have grown up a little? I’ve seen it happen mostly to short guys under 5’8. So I guess I’m not at all shallow as a man for excluding fat women, flat-chested women, aging women, non-model types and extremely short women? You know how many women would have a field day attacking me? I don’t feel sorry for myself or complain about women who reject me. I just move on to the next girl and hope that she sees past my 5’5 frame and looks at the bigger picture. The content of my character and the size of my heart is most important. Question for you. How is being gay associated with the difficulties that some guys have for not dating women? That’s some really dumb stuff if you ask me. Try to contribute something positive to the discussion rather than the nonsense you suggested about homosexuals. Can you do it without namecalling or is that too much to ask? What grade are you in and are you a tall guy or a short guy?
I wish more men were gay, it would be less competition :D. But seriously though, Matt here has man hating tendencies that arose as a counterpart for his years of suppressed homoerotic fantasies. Think about it you two, you have so much in common. All those years of lonely nights listening to Queen. Tssk Tssk. I’d say it to your face any day Matt you fruit cup and If you had any problems with it I’d have a new tooth for my tooth collection.
hehe as a short guy, whom is about in a slim 5’5 frame, i googled “short guy”for fun or rather, soothing experience , which was why i got here and read the paper. i have skipped through almost all the posting above, and lots of emoitions also stir up wthin me as well. What makes me kinda different from short fellows on here , is I myself is a Chinese, whom was born in mainland China and never ever left it till now. Not too surprisingly, the topic of man height appears to be a global issue and i regret to inform that asian girls( or rather Chinese, japanese, korean girls) favor tall guys over short counterparts when it comes to dating stuff. But to be honest, when judging whether a girl attractive or not, her height does serve a item in the critia lift for myself. So it is quite fair for girls to think the same. In China, the height of 5’6 , or 170cm (if i correct right) for a guy makes a borderline deciding whehter a guy eligible to be a mate by girls. But I have to say that this thing is more likely to be just a say because there are a lot more to consider for girls to decide. And if one short guy really braves it out, he still stands a chance. I notice one fellow above hates being offered a chance as if being settled for girls, but the essence of life itself is about seizing a chance when it is due for my part. Nothing could be secured without you jumping give it a shot.
In China, god (if he or she is still out there ) is also created to meet our own needs. A guy who is stumpy but rich still can get the prettiest girl on campus, even before she graduates. Even i know rich guy does have charming personalities , which are afforded through his stuggle with life to make a fortune, pretty girls REALLY can be bought over. Dont tell me rich guys could only buy girls body not heart, love is gradually being treated as a childish stuff in modern thanks to this stinking growth of national wealth over years.
Sometimes i would wonder if i one day come to the us or somethere similar, girls there might not care about height as much on here. Seems like i am wrong. We are shallow alike. YEAH, human itself is shallow.
Sam,
OK, so you don’t like the homosexual comments, yes they were absurd. I give you that 100% but I hope you got the point. Many comments on here are absurd. What exactly are these people looking for? Why attack women and call them shallow just because they are interested in dating a certain type? (and please don’t give me this “we are all shallow” BS) Its not that hard to find a woman when you know what they want. It seems to me that many short guys expect all women to be attracted to them, but in reality thats just not possible, even for tall guys.
Its also funny how everyone simply accepts the argument that being overweight is due to overeating and not excercising. Weight is genetic for the most part, just like height.
Y u pickin on girls? Men AREN’T PERFECT EITHER
How to make a Great personal ad – Add a picture – Yes, uncover an excellent picture of yourself, even one of the most gorgeous people can at times look terrible in a photo as most celebrities know only too well. But make sure it looks like you now, not ten years ago, be proud of who you’re and obviously choose one in which you might be smiling.
Girls are very vain. My family believes that a man absolutely MUST be taller than the woman, preferably over 6 feet. Growing with extreme complexes about certain things, I could never stand for a partner to be taller, not such an easy thing considering I’m 5’10”. Not to say I wouldn’t consider it, I just don’t like to feel submissive in any way. My current boyfriend of almost 2 years is a head shorter than me. Stares are common, but I’ve got to say that he’s one of the sweetest, funniest guys you’ll meet. My mother hates him for his height though, so, lately, I’ve been wondering if it’s going to work out or not. I don’t think I’ll find a nicer guy. As for the vain girls out there, as long as you can kiss comfortably during sex, it shouldn’t matter!
Cally, you can’t let your parents dictate who you fall in love with. If your mother hates your boyfriend for his height, so be it. She’s not the one dating him and you both need to understand that. If you really value your mother’s opinion about your boyfriend and his lack of height, it might break the relationship. Saying it’s not going to work because your mom or dad doesn’t like him for something he can’t control is absurd. Be strong for yourself and for him. If you’ve been dating him for almost two years and your mother still has issues, SHE is the problem, not his height or you. I’m glad that you don’t feel the need to be submissive to a guy, but in reality, a person’s height shouldn’t make them feel dominant or submissive in a relationship. Still, I will tip my hat and wink my eye in appreciation of you. Not very often do you hear about a woman that doesn’t like to feel submissive or not needing a taller man to feel feminine. I’m guessing you can protect yourself in public, you have self confidence and your man is more than willing to protect you and treat you like the queen that you are. Best of luck!
You are the one who loves him. You happiness is what matter. If he is good to you, don’t worry about what a person says or feels, follow your heart. If you let him go, it may be a long time before you find someone just as good as him.
Women have the worst Napoleon complexes I swear. Its very funny to see girls prefer someone 6’4″ 180 to me at 5’7″ 150 even though my friend is an alcoholic who puts booze before the relationship, and I have my life together. No Debt, own my car, artists, athletic, academic success, look like Justin Timberlake list goes on. Height is only a foot in the door. Other places it doesn’t seem rough at all, Hawaii I am of normal height. I believe with the average height of 5’9″ and sd 2″ that leaves only 1/20 men over 6’1″ depending on the area of course. I do go to a school full of girls and get a lot of nasty looks, ignored, and not given a chance by a lot of stupid little girls who don’t know what they are missing. LOL I’m marrying foreign anyway foreign girls are far less shallow and have a better sense of sophistication without being as stuck up.
I have never had problems pulling more girls than my brother at 6′ because I am taller than most girls, and not scared to fight a bear to my death.
B.T.W. if you want a confidence booster, just go around offending people. I have more fun offending people on a daily basis than I ever did in a relationship. WOO Make sure you can either fight or run well though.
If those girls who discriminate that dating a short man is bad they are missing out a lot.
I’m 5’7″ (It’s short average but I still get called shrimp or shortie) I’m actually one of the very few nice guys who never cheats and is in it for the love and monogamy, and I bet almost every short guy is too. The reason why I developed the nice guy personality is from all the ridicule from being short, I separated myself from the others (which if short guys were accepted in society we would all be dicks) and I’m dating a girl who is 5’10”. Girls that are taller than guys need to be convinced “good things come in small packages” well that and the fact I’m well endowed helped me get a tall girl
Short men just do not attract me. That’s all there is to it, really. I am 5’5” and I have never dated a man shorter than 6’3”. However, you need to know that it goes both ways. Tall men like me too. My last boyfriend was 6’8” and he said that he always preferred women around my height or even shorter. Same thing with me. I like when a man is much, much taller than me. If that is superficial, so be it. I don’t mind men wanting big breasts, tiny waists, wide hips or what not. I accept it, but at the same time, I absolutely refuse to feel bad for wanting tall men. So, there you go.
Hey ValentinaVala,
At least you are being honest. That’s always the best policy IMO, so thank you for being honest without being hurtful. If tall men are what you desire in a mate, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s wrong when you start insulting short guys or acting distastefully towards short people just because they are short. Everyone has physical preferences in a mate and there’s nothing wrong with that. When your physical desires become the primary focus of your life with no room for variety or flexibility, then it becomes a problem. This pretty much explains the number of single women who are strictly holding out for their perfect mate when in reality nobody is perfect. What do you do when a short guy approaches you? I guess it must be pretty easy for you to lie and say you’re involved with someone or do you simply say that you’re not attracted to the person in the nicest possible manner to not hurt his feelings? Not to sound mean, but maybe you don’t care about hurting some short guys feelings and tell him the truth with blunt force? I honestly refuse to feel bad for wanting a woman who is character driven, educated and also has a sense of humour. I like women that can make me laugh while at the same time keeps me interested in the conversation. Physically speaking, I don’t feel bad for wanting a taller, volouptuous woman with long legs because that’s what turns me on in a woman. Do I limit myself to my physical desires? Absolutely not because I am capable of being turned on by women of all shapes and sizes, especially if they have a mind that keeps me interested. What I don’t do is shut out other ladies outside of my physical preference because it’s not like I have much choice really. Western culture says I’m the least desirable of men so I tend to keep an open mind and an open heart for all women. On the other hand, so many women place height as their #1 criteria in choosing a mate and from experience I will say this. Average height women, between 5’3 and 5’7 are the pickiest about a man’s height. You have the most guys to choose from because a lot of the 6’0+ tall guys prefer smaller girls and they have a real tough time dealing with their masculinity being stepped on by dating a taller woman. Furthermore, average height women have a strong tendency to use high heels as the measuring stick against short guys as well as the “short guy can’t protect me,” excuse. Women 5’10 and up also use the high heels excuse but they don’t use the protector excuse as much as shorter women because their height is already intimidating to some men.
I am a male and I’m 5’3″ tall. I have always been very short my whole life. Even in high school I was 4’11” in my junior year. I never let my height bother me and I have always had plenty of friends. I have always had plenty of girls who I have dated and had good relationships with them. Being very short like I am all girls are taller than me even the short ones when they wear heels. I think that when you get past thinking about height everything else falls into place. I have dated girls from 5’2 to 6’0 tall and the shorter girls are the ones that seem to be more concerned about height. The girl that was 6’0 was crazy about our relationship and she even wore heels when we went out.
My wife now is 5’9 and we have been together for 21 yrs and we are still nuts about each other. Our two girls are 5’11 and 5’10 and both are dating shorter guys.
You got it right.
Thank you Jo-Anne 5’11 and Jossy 5’11 for speaking kindly and rewardingly about short men. Tall women like you two who say that you appreciate shorter guys are extremely rare, especially in western culture. I tip my hat to both of you with respect and I wish there were more tall ladies like yourselves who place less importance in a man’s height. Peace.
Being a 5’11” TALL woman, I can honestly say the men that have approached me with the most confidence have always been men shorter than me. There’s something extremely sexy about a confident man.
Hi Denise!
First of all, nice picture!! You are a pretty woman yes indeedy!!
Gotta a question for you. Is there a difference between a confident short man and a confident taller man? I don’t believe confidence is measured by women equally between men of varying heights. Men are expected to be confident but more often the tall guys are given a free pass if they are shy or intimidated. Tall, shy guys have tremendous favour with women because his height trumps almost everything about him that is negative. Short guys are considered weak, wimpy and fragile if we come across as shy. NO woman wants that in a man. Nevertheless, confident tall men are still the studs, heartthrobs, the gold standard of what is considered an ideal man to the mass society of women. A confident short guy is more often cruelly attached with the short-man-syndrome, little-man-syndrome, or Napoleon complex which isn’t fair at all. If I was made to a be slave with no rights or freedoms, this wouldn’t be an issue to me. Why can’t I have goals or set levels of achievement for myself without being chastised for it on the basis of my height?
FYI I think it’s wicked sexy when a tall woman with confidence allows herself to approach any guy especially if he shorter than her. It’s a big time turn on to engage a tall woman in conversation who’s confortable with my short self in her personal space.
How short is too short for you?
Hey sam, I’m short, confident and big dicked.That’s cool
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hello
thank u
your text got me better … i’m a 28 years old guy .. never kissed any and by any.
i’m look like 18 year boys .. i’m 160 cm with 50 kg ..
so what can i do to have a girl friend and good sex?
I am not overly tall I don’t think at 5 feet 7 but I find shorter men more attractive than taller men. I tend to hide that sometimes though as experience has tried to teach me that because I am drawn to shorter men there is something wrong with me. (sigh)
Im a 22 year old male . Im 5’5 and i work in corrections . I’ve been with beautiful women ( with no kids or mental issues ) . People seem to think that tall people are incapable of getting their asses whooped by a short guy . Fact is , most of the people i’ve whooped , are tall . People also tend to think that short guys always get the single moms . Not in my case . I won’t date a single mom for nothing .
I have a tall female friend who is 5′ 11″ and I am 5′ 3″. It’s awesome. We go out together and she wears high heels and I love it. I am rather ‘muscular’ so although I’m short I have a taller man’s physique and do not look wimpy at all/
I’m a 5’4 man. Yeah, it’s tough meeting women. It’s important to have a good attitude and avoid bringing up your height. I know your “attitude” is the not the reason why girls are avoiding you. It probably is your height. That is just how it is. But if you want any chance you better have a good attitude and be friendly and inviting. You need to go out and be visible and talk to women, introduce yourself politely with a smile and don’t worry about what she or anyone else thinks about how you look. Her body language will tell you to get lost or keep talking. Just take the cue. Offer her a drink and keep the conversation going if she is talking back. Women want attention just like you do. Try giving some to one to a women who is not being talked to and you may be surprised. You may not get to take her home that night but you have to keep throwing your line out there.
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Hey Everyone! The answer to this very serious problem is simple!! Men, STOP dating short women. And when I say short, I mean ALL women that are below 5’8″. Unfortunately, this will result in many, many men living a long single life. But check this out, a scientific study now shows that it takes about 27years in a marriage for the “height factor” in attractiveness to go away.
So step #1: Do Not under any circumstance date or reproduce with a women that is under 5’8″. You will be running the risk of having a short son. For the protection of our gender and our future men, we must only reproduce with tall women. All women under 5’8″ are now officially useless!
Step #2: Keep the 27 year rule in the back of your mind. If you are short man and you can’t land a relationship with the only suitable woman — a tall woman. Then go for much older women. Likely these women are over the height thing, because their brains have matured and they appreciate the finer things in life, such as adventure, kindness, honesty and partnership.
Step #3: If women under 5’8″ begin to complain because we as men refuse to date them and we’ve collectively decided that women under 5’8″ are unattractive, just let them know simply (with a wink)… “it’s just a preference.”
This blog made me think of my early 20’s, as I was rejected by the foxes who chased after the Alfa males and showed no more interest in me than glancing at a blade of grass next to the highway traveling at 75 MPH. And this made me think about my own personal experiences with tall women, a slightly different story from this blog, but same result due to being a Beta male.
One 6’ tall girl, in a gym, talked to me with such a look of disinterested she couldn’t have looked or acted more uninterested if she had wanted to. I approached another, who I estimated being 5 foot 9 or 10 inches. She got angry with me for even asking her out and stuck her finger in my face informing me she didn’t date shorter men. On line, I met a girl 5’11â€, and we worked out together once in my apartment complex gym, after that she did not return my two phone calls, there could be others, too, I just don’t remember them all. Now, you may say the rejections were because of my looks, that could be true, but as I approached girls closer to my height, my success rate went way up.
This blog also made me think about the rejections by tall girls, and it angered me, but not at the time the rejection. Only years later, when I actually tallied them up, did I get angry. I was rejected not because I was fat, bald, ugly, deformed or had a rotten personality. No. The reason I was rejected by all of these women was my height. Not a one even bothered to put forth the effort to get to know me much less date me.
I did date three women who were significantly taller than me, two at 5’11†and one at 5’10â€. (I am 5’8â€) And all three happened to be 32 years of age, which is more than a coincidence and a tie in with this blog. No doubt all three wanted a tall Alfa male, and lost, so a safe stable Beta male was the next best thing in their 30’s, for I certainly didn’t grow any taller and I doubt I got better looking. These women were past their prime and worried. I was in my late 30’s, at this time of my life, after being married for 10 years. It was also at this time, I could easily date younger women, and I did. When I was 38, my first girlfriend was 27, the next was 27 and the next was 24 who became my second wife. I never dated with any intent of marrying a woman my age. Younger women had no issue with me dating them, and I certainly had no issue dating them. I remember going to singles events and seeing very pretty women, who were my age, who I know 15 years earlier would not have given me the time of day. And even now, they may have looked better than myself, but now it was me who had no interest in approaching them. I did not want to take time and money away from pursuing younger women. Why go old, when I could go young? I was amazed how the dating game changed in my favor. And I used it to my advantage, just as women had done years earlier.
I am now married and have 4 sons. I have 3 degrees, and I have co-authored 2 US patents. I could have provided a good life to any girl. I wanted a taller girl because of the physical turn on and to for fill one of my desires, yet not one single tall girl (in her 20’s) gave me a chance. I was turned down consistently and without a second thought. (Maybe due to the Alfa male fascination) So, if you find yourself in your late 20’s or early 30’s with no prospect of a husband or children in the immediate future, you have no one to blame but yourself. There were men like me, who wanted a leggy female, but they, like me, were never accorded the opportunity. (This also applies to average height women, too) And the reality is that the vast majority of tall women will not even consider a shorter man (and Beta males) until it is too late. You would think it would be obvious that if you included shorter males (and Beta males) in your suitor selection, your odds would increase of finding a mate. There are a lot more short and medium height males than there are taller ones. So my advice would be to accept the advances of all men and get to know them. I, who would have relished the opportunity of having curvy broad hips and a tapered waist to hold all night and to make love to into the early hours of the morning, was never, not once, even given a chance to start a relationship. Throw away the yardstick, for you may find someone like me, who would love to share his life and love with a tall girl.
By the way, another tie in with this article and be found at this web site.
http://shortguycentral.com/P-57/beware-of-the-reformed-heightist-woman
This writer tell about his rejections in his 20’s by women only to find that women now chased after him, in spite of his height, now he is in his early 30’s. He warns of the dangers of the “Reformed Heightest Woman†who are desperate after wasting their life chasing the Alfa male and now want a stable Beta with a steady pay-check.
Here is anther on how women who found the Mr. Average (Beta Males) were worth nothing in their 20’s and now that these women are in their 30’s can’t buy a date, even from the Beta Males
Why women lose in the dating game
http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/why-women-lose-the-dating-game-20120421-1xdn0.html
During their 20s, women compete for the most highly desirable men, the Mr Bigs. Many will readily share a bed with the sporty, attractive, confident men, while ordinary men miss out. As Whiskey puts it at whiskeysplace.wordpress.com: ”Joe Average Beta Male is about as desirable to women as a cold bowl of oatmeal.”
”I can’t believe how many men my age are only interested in younger women,” wails Gail, a 34-year-old advertising executive as she describes her first search through men’s profiles on the RSVP internet dating site. She is shocked to find many mid-30s men have set up their profiles to refuse mail from women their own age.
Talking to many women like her, it’s intriguing how many look back on past relationships where they let good men get away because they weren’t ready. American journalist Kate Bolick wrote recently in The Atlantic about breaking off her three-year relationship with a man she described as ”intelligent, good-looking, loyal and kind”. She acknowledged ”there was no good reason to end things”, yet, at the time, she was convinced something was missing in the relationship. That was 11 years ago. She’s is now 39 and facing grim choices.
Hello everyone. I’ve been reading all the posts and I would like to add my thoughts to this discussion. First of all, a little bit about myself. I am 44 years old, 5’1 and 120 lbs. I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs. I lift weights, take vitamins, and try to eat as healthy as possible. I’ve been told that I am a very nice guy, polite and well mannered. I have never been on a date or been kissed.
I do believe that heightism exists and it will continue to do so until people starting opening their eyes. It is sad that the media and Hollywood perpetuates the myth that short people are losers. I’ve been turned down for jobs because of my height and told the only job I would be able to get is as a general labourer even though I have a business management diploma. I have also been turned down for dates so many times I’ve lost count. I’ve been called all kinds of names such as: shorty, shrimp, stumpy, midget, etc. In school I was bullied incessantly by students and teachers which destroyed my self-esteem. Turning to God has helped me to see that I am a pretty good guy and I deserve to be loved. I still hope to find that special lady and to create beautiful memories with her.
There are many misconceptions about short people and how people can believe them is beyond me. Being a short person myself, I can say, unequivocally, that:
1. Not all short men have small penises. This is so not true and totally ridiculous. There is no direct correlation between the size of a man’s penis and what kind of lover he is because being a great lover involves many other attributes.
2. A short man can protect his girlfriend or wife just as good as a tall man.
3. Short men can be kind, loving, caring and faithful too.
What people don’t understand is that short people are human beings too. We want to be loved and needed just like tall people and to reject someone over something they cannot change is extremely cruel and mean. I have never nor would I ever judge someone based on their physical attributes. True beauty cannot be seen with the human eye only felt with the human heart. Furthermore, external beauty fades but internal beauty lasts forever.
One last comment, ladies please remember this, if you pass up a guy simply because he is too short, you just might be passing up the greatest guy you’ll ever meet.
Thank you and all the best to everyone.
A woman is FAR more likely to reject a man over height than a man is to reject a woman over cup size, yet men are the shallow ones?